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I'd be skeptical to go with a chick that's totally inexperienced at 27 though. So he does have a point. I'd like to hear his reasons for labeling her immature. They could be good reasons.
Hey OP, when you say she's immature, what do you mean? Give us more details on the chick's personality, please.
I'm not bothered by her immaturity. She is really immature for her age largely due to the fact that she had to live with her parents until she was 29 while she was studying for her PhD. Also, she had a really sheltered upbringing, and her father was very disdainful of her dating, thus the reason why she lost her virginity so late.
I really don't mind her immaturity, however. I find it makes her really cute and innocent, and I also find it endearing. It's also great that she hasn't had any relationship experience before me since she has no baggage.
I don't really know why I'm so scared of this age difference. At times in bothers me, and at other times I feel that I'm just making a mountain over a molehill. Perhaps I'm just scared that she'll change quicker, making me miss what we once had together...
I'm not bothered by her immaturity. She is really immature for her age largely due to the fact that she had to live with her parents until she was 29 while she was studying for her PhD. Also, she had a really sheltered upbringing, and her father was very disdainful of her dating, thus the reason why she lost her virginity so late.
I really don't mind her immaturity, however. I find it makes her really cute and innocent, and I also find it endearing. It's also great that she hasn't had any relationship experience before me since she has no baggage.
I don't really know why I'm so scared of this age difference. At times in bothers me, and at other times I feel that I'm just making a mountain over a molehill. Perhaps I'm just scared that she'll change quicker, making me miss what we once had together...
I'm not gonna judge you harshly like all the others. Although some people won't admit it, people do tend to change drastically after marriage. There are some indicators to find out if a woman will change negatively after marriage. Can you answer these questions?
1. How is your sex life? Is she willing to try new things?
2. How does she view herself physically? Is she one of those women who always complains that they are fat and always needs validation about her looks?
3. What are her views on sex? Does she view sex as something women give to men?
4. How does she dress? Does she dress plainly? Does she like to wear makeup?
5. How often does she exercise? Is her diet good?
Here's a huge red flag: she didn't leave her parents until 29 and she didn't date because her parents disapproved. That means she's unable to make her own life choices without her parents' approval. That is far worse than her age.
She didn't have the guts to go against her parents' wishes on dating until she was 27? That says she lacks emotional and social maturity.
Here's another question: what made her decide to finally date after years of being afraid to go against her parents?
When did she suddenly become six years older than you? I think that point would have been the time to deal with this oh-so-serious problem.
You people in this thread are missing the main point: her age didn't become a problem until he started considering marrying her.
Before marriage, a man should consider carefully each and everything about his woman. Good and bad. He's doing the right thing. I don't know how you can blame him. Sometimes certain things a guy thought of as trivial when they were dating comes back to haunt him after he marries her. My neighbor said before he married his wife, she had attempted suicide years before he met her. He thought it was a trivial thing because it had happened years before he met her. After marriage, she attempted suicide again when she was 9 months pregnant with their first baby.
As far as the OP's girlfriend, he really needs to consider the problem of her not dating til she was 27 because her parents compelled her not to. She's socially and emotionally a failure. That's just a fact.
You people in this thread are missing the main point: her age didn't become a problem until he started considering marrying her.
Before marriage, a man should consider carefully each and everything about his woman. Good and bad. He's doing the right thing. I don't know how you can blame him.
Oh, well that's easy.
You just don't empathize with him. Don't think about the practical complications of mismatched reproductive peaks, and don't look at it from his point of view: instead look at it from the perspective: "How can I answer this question in a way that makes me seem hip and open-minded?"
I am a 26 year old male and I've been with my beautiful 32 year old girlfriend for over 5 years now, and I could honestly say that I am deeply in love with her. I've never felt so loved and happy before, and I believe that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our sex life is out of this world, and I can't keep up with her, and we also have a really deep emotional connection. I'm about to ask her to marry me, however, I'm suddenly feeling really hesitant and I think it's because she's 6 years older than me...
My girlfriend has always been a lot less mature than me, and I think that stems from the fact that she lived a very sheltered life. I was also her first real boyfriend, and she lost her virginity to me. She also looks a lot younger than she is, and people are always amazed that she's older than me. In essence, I've always felt like the older, and more mature person in our relationship. We are also in the same place career wise, and we both discussed wanting to have kids in about 3-4 years from now.
Despite this, though, I can't help but worry about our age difference...It feels nonexistent now, but I worry that It'll be evident in the future...At times I think that 6 years is such a small age gap and that my worries are incredibly immature and nonsensical. But at times I feel that our 6 year age difference is something to worry about, maybe not now, but in the future...
I am deeply in love with this girl, and I've never been so physically and emotionally attracted to someone before. I'm about to ask her for marriage, but I can't get rid of the nagging thought that she's older than me.
Am I crazy? Is a 6 year age difference really that big of a deal among adults?
tl;dr: I'm about to ask my beautiful girlfriend to marry me, but lately I can't get over the fact that she's 6 years older than me. Are my concerns unjustified?
Man your relationship is that good and you're worried about six years. The reason it might be so good is because there is a six year difference. I read studies that show people who are seven years apart work out the best. Supposedly, that's the best age difference.
I'm not gonna judge you harshly like all the others. Although some people won't admit it, people do tend to change drastically after marriage. There are some indicators to find out if a woman will change negatively after marriage. Can you answer these questions?
1. How is your sex life? Is she willing to try new things?
2. How does she view herself physically? Is she one of those women who always complains that they are fat and always needs validation about her looks?
3. What are her views on sex? Does she view sex as something women give to men?
4. How does she dress? Does she dress plainly? Does she like to wear makeup?
5. How often does she exercise? Is her diet good?
Here's a huge red flag: she didn't leave her parents until 29 and she didn't date because her parents disapproved. That means she's unable to make her own life choices without her parents' approval. That is far worse than her age.
She didn't have the guts to go against her parents' wishes on dating until she was 27? That says she lacks emotional and social maturity.
Here's another question: what made her decide to finally date after years of being afraid to go against her parents?
1. Our sex life is incredible. She pleases me in every way imaginable, and I like to reciprocate. She always had a very high libido, and I find it difficult at times to keep up with her.
2.She also has a very positive body image since she exercises regularly and eats very healthily. She never smoked, did drugs, or drank alcohol (I used to do all of those things frequently) so perhaps that's why she looks a lot younger than she is.
3. She also views sex as something enjoyable. She views it as something to please her man, and to please her. Our sex life really is incredible, and I would say better than 95% of other couples out there.
4. She dresses very well and promiscuously. She likes to show off her body, and I'm fine with that. She also wears some light make up when we're going out.
5. Again, she has a very regimented workout routine, and eats very healthily. Her mother and siblings are very fit, so I'm sure both genetics and the way she was raised allows her to stay very fit.
I agree that it was a bit strange for her to refrain from dating, but her father is a bit of a tyrant and made things very difficult for her. She is now far more independent than before. She has a PhD and has a very good career. She also likes to express herself a lot more, and likes to voice her opinion. She only remained immature in terms of her character and interests, but again, I find that endearing. Also, the reason why she decided to date me was that she thought I was worth the trouble she'd get in for her father. She has been approached by many guys before meeting me, and even currently...but she just wasn't interested in them, and didn't think her father would approve of them. I am in very good terms with her parents now, and her father treats me as his son.
Marriage is a huge decision, and I think I'm creating problems that don't exist. It's just that I see all of my friends and most are dating girls younger than them, or their age, and I can't help but think that I'm doing something against the grain. I'm also afraid that our best years are coming to an end...While she is still very young, what would happen in a few more years when we settle down and get kids? I'm scared of her losing her youthfulness and her bubbly character, which is what made me fall in love with her in the first place...
1. Our sex life is incredible. She pleases me in every way imaginable, and I like to reciprocate. She always had a very high libido, and I find it difficult at times to keep up with her.
2.She also has a very positive body image since she exercises regularly and eats very healthily. She never smoked, did drugs, or drank alcohol (I used to do all of those things frequently) so perhaps that's why she looks a lot younger than she is.
3. She also views sex as something enjoyable. She views it as something to please her man, and to please her. Our sex life really is incredible, and I would say better than 95% of other couples out there.
4. She dresses very well and promiscuously. She likes to show off her body, and I'm fine with that. She also wears some light make up when we're going out.
5. Again, she has a very regimented workout routine, and eats very healthily. Her mother and siblings are very fit, so I'm sure both genetics and the way she was raised allows her to stay very fit.
I agree that it was a bit strange for her to refrain from dating, but her father is a bit of a tyrant and made things very difficult for her. She is now far more independent than before. She has a PhD and has a very good career. She also likes to express herself a lot more, and likes to voice her opinion. She only remained immature in terms of her character and interests, but again, I find that endearing. Also, the reason why she decided to date me was that she thought I was worth the trouble she'd get in for her father. She has been approached by many guys before meeting me, and even currently...but she just wasn't interested in them, and didn't think her father would approve of them. I am in very good terms with her parents now, and her father treats me as his son.
Marriage is a huge decision, and I think I'm creating problems that don't exist. It's just that I see all of my friends and most are dating girls younger than them, or their age, and I can't help but think that I'm doing something against the grain. I'm also afraid that our best years are coming to an end...While she is still very young, what would happen in a few more years when we settle down and get kids? I'm scared of her losing her youthfulness and her bubbly character, which is what made me fall in love with her in the first place...
I know people who are bubbly at 80 years of age!
Marriage is a big step and not one to be taken lightly. However, age is just a number - love, trust, compatibility, loyalty, happiness - those are the things that really matter. My mom was 3 years older than my father - it was never an issue in their life together. I have two close couple friends (including my ex-boyfriend who is one of my closest friends) in which the wife is around 7 years older than the husband. One couple had their first child a few years ago - when they wife was 40 - and the other couple is expecting any day now - and the wife is 38.
But it doesn't really matter how many other couples have made things work - you have to decide if she's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. There are no guarantees in life or love - but like I said, it's a big step and not one to be taken lightly.
Marriage is a huge decision, and I think I'm creating problems that don't exist. It's just that I see all of my friends and most are dating girls younger than them, or their age, and I can't help but think that I'm doing something against the grain. I'm also afraid that our best years are coming to an end...While she is still very young, what would happen in a few more years when we settle down and get kids? I'm scared of her losing her youthfulness and her bubbly character, which is what made me fall in love with her in the first place...
well then, sounds like you've done some introspection....
so just tell her just that and how you feel but that she is the love of your life and the only one you ever want to be with. and it's just going to take a little longer.
as long as you aren't looking at other eye candy and talking about your future plans without her being in it, there shouldn't be reason you can't continue having what you have now.
lots of guys go through this. and some of them come to the conclusion that "giving" her a marriage proposal is the most loving thing you could do for her, despite the reservations and uncertainties. it's a "sacrifice" worth keeping her.
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