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Yes, anyone is replaceable when it comes to my daughter, but my best friend also happens to be her mother, so that's quite different. I was just confirming my love for my lil one in the hypothetical situation that this relationship does not work out and I end up meeting another woman.
my recommendation is you gotta do it at least once, otherwise you will never know about the experience of being married. if it doesn't work out, well then you tried your best. if it does work out, you will live happily ever after..... at least that's what they say.
The problem with this advice is that if it doesn't work out the man deals with not only the emotional trauma but a huge financial loss and most likely he will have limited access to his kids while paying a huge part of his future income in alimony ( as though losing half the assets wasn't enough). If he is older he may never financially recover!! It becomes worse if the woman re-marries... now the man has to deal with another man influencing his kids!!
For women marriage is usually a win-win situation which is why they are ever ready to sign up!
The man has to evaluate whether he likes the woman that much in order to take that monumental of a risk!
I haven't read the pages, but I just want to say that you don't marry just cuz you've been with a woman for a long time.
You marry someone because you don't want to live the rest of your life without that person. You don't marry because she's just there and ready. If you don't feel like marrying, then do not marry for the sake of marriage because you'll just become another statistic.
The problem with this advice is that if it doesn't work out the man deals with not only the emotional trauma but a huge financial loss and most likely he will have limited access to his kids while paying a huge part of his future income in alimony ( as though losing half the assets wasn't enough). If he is older he may never financially recover!! It becomes worse if the woman re-marries... now the man has to deal with another man influencing his kids!!
For women marriage is usually a win-win situation which is why they are ever ready to sign up!
The man has to evaluate whether he likes the woman that much in order to take that monumental of a risk!
Or alimony disguised as child support. No one wants to list child support for fear of being labeled a dead beat but I have seen some guys child support that was WAY beyond the needs of the child and was no doubt being used by the mom to support HER life style.
Pfft. I haven't been single for more than 3 months at a time since I was 15 years old.
Can you break down the math of this please? Not being single meaning you were with someONE you'd have defined as an actual girlfriend. Did you get a new one every 3 months (meaning if your around 35 you'd have had 80 gfs??!) or did you go from long term to long term? Seems kind of weird, not much time for any sort of self reflection, introspection, growing on your own, you'd have just always been with someone else, seems tiring (and not just in a good sexual way).
The reason you get married is so the two of you can have a better life together than you would have if you were on your own. The security of being able to know that you have family -- and yes, a spouse is your primary family member -- to rush to the hospital if you were accidentally run over by a bus. So you can combine incomes and have a higher quality of life — and even go on vacation where you want. It's knowing that there is one person who would stick by you during a crisis or tragedy, someone who knows you so well that they could make decisions for you if you couldn't make them yourself.
Wait, I've lived with a woman before. Marriage wouldn't have changed the relationship hardly at all. I don't see how it would have made our lives "better". Our incomes were ALREADY combined, just living together but UNMARRIED. Being legally married wouldn't have made me feel any more like I had that one person that would stick by me, already felt that way. So what exactly was/is the point of marriage again?
She'll be fine. I'll always be there for her, 100%. I always put her above everything.
She's my little angel.
So grow the f&#k up already and give her the stable home she deserves. You can't be there for her 100% unless you're actually there for her 100%. It's not just about you and your hormones any more.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drover
So grow the f&#k up already and give her the stable home she deserves. You can't be there for her 100% unless you're actually there for her 100%. It's not just about you and your hormones any more.
Excuse me. Being there 100% does not mean marrying someone he is not sure he wants to be with forever. A stable home is not exclusive to married parents. Hell my mother was married to my father when I was born and my home was anything BUT stable when they were married. If he don't love her enough to marry her, that's it. The best thing he can do for his daughter is to walk in total honesty in this situation.
Excuse me. Being there 100% does not mean marrying someone he is not sure he wants to be with forever. A stable home is not exclusive to married parents. Hell my mother was married to my father when I was born and my home was anything BUT stable when they were married. If he don't love her enough to marry her, that's it. The best thing he can do for his daughter is to walk in total honesty in this situation.
No I won't "excuse you." The primary reason he won't commit to the mother of his child is not because she's not a suitable partner but because he doesn't want to have to keep his d*ck in his pants. I never said a stable home is "exclusive to married parents" so go run that noise up some other flagpole. But you can't be there "100%" unless you're actually there 100% and you can't provide a stable household if the kid never knows what man (including or excluding her dad) is going to be there for the long haul. The best way to achieve -- not guarantee -- a stable home is to answer that question once and for all.
Parents who believe they can parent their kids "100%" from a distance are delusional. Sometimes life happens and you can't actually live in the same home as their kids. But that's not his dilemma -- his is that he doesn't want to be there 100% because it might put a cramp in his bed-hopping lifestyle. He has a chance to do right by his daughter so what his d*ck wants needs to take a back seat while he tends to responsibilities that are bigger than him and his crotch bishop.
He has an opportunity to be the dad he claims he already is, and to his credit he's decided to give it a shot. But he's still only doing a "test run" instead of going all-in. I hope for his daughter's sake that this "test-run" goes well and he takes the plunge and provides a stable family environment for his daughter and her mother.
No I won't "excuse you." The primary reason he won't commit to the mother of his child is not because she's not a suitable partner but because he doesn't want to have to keep his d*ck in his pants. I never said a stable home is "exclusive to married parents" so go run that noise up some other flagpole. But you can't be there "100%" unless you're actually there 100% and you can't provide a stable household if the kid never knows what man (including or excluding her dad) is going to be there for the long haul. The best way to achieve -- not guarantee -- a stable home is to answer that question once and for all.
Parents who believe they can parent their kids "100%" from a distance are delusional. Sometimes life happens and you can't actually live in the same home as their kids. But that's not his dilemma -- his is that he doesn't want to be there 100% because it might put a cramp in his bed-hopping lifestyle. He has a chance to do right by his daughter so what his d*ck wants needs to take a back seat while he tends to responsibilities that are bigger than him and his crotch bishop.
He has an opportunity to be the dad he claims he already is, and to his credit he's decided to give it a shot. But he's still only doing a "test run" instead of going all-in. I hope for his daughter's sake that this "test-run" goes well and he takes the plunge and provides a stable family environment for his daughter and her mother.
Depends on how happy he will be married to this woman. if someone puts themselves in an unhappy situation and they have to be a Zoloft parent that's not good for the kid either.
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