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No I won't "excuse you." The primary reason he won't commit to the mother of his child is not because she's not a suitable partner but because he doesn't want to have to keep his d*ck in his pants. I never said a stable home is "exclusive to married parents" so go run that noise up some other flagpole. But you can't be there "100%" unless you're actually there 100% and you can't provide a stable household if the kid never knows what man (including or excluding her dad) is going to be there for the long haul. The best way to achieve -- not guarantee -- a stable home is to answer that question once and for all.
Parents who believe they can parent their kids "100%" from a distance are delusional. Sometimes life happens and you can't actually live in the same home as their kids. But that's not his dilemma -- his is that he doesn't want to be there 100% because it might put a cramp in his bed-hopping lifestyle. He has a chance to do right by his daughter so what his d*ck wants needs to take a back seat while he tends to responsibilities that are bigger than him and his crotch bishop.
He has an opportunity to be the dad he claims he already is, and to his credit he's decided to give it a shot. But he's still only doing a "test run" instead of going all-in. I hope for his daughter's sake that this "test-run" goes well and he takes the plunge and provides a stable family environment for his daughter and her mother.
You need to calm down. There's no test run here. I am there for the long-haul, regardless if it works out with the mom or not. My daughter's relationship with me is flawless and the bond we have is on another level. I'm not going anywhere, I'll always live as close as possible. I never ever bring this element around her. If anything I want to spend more time with her. Stability of a father will always be there, I am grown in in that regard, but I still like to have fun, and as long as I don't bring it around her, there's no issue.
I don't understand why people take bringing another human being into the world so lightly, while finding marriage to be such a stretch.
Probably because marriage doesn't mean that much to many people these days, hence the statement "It's just a piece of paper". If thats the case let Marriage die a good death.
You need to calm down. There's no test run here. I am there for the long-haul, regardless if it works out with the mom or not. My daughter's relationship with me is flawless and the bond we have is on another level. I'm not going anywhere, I'll always live as close as possible. I never ever bring this element around her. If anything I want to spend more time with her. Stability of a father will always be there, I am grown in in that regard, but I still like to have fun, and as long as I don't bring it around her, there's no issue.
Yeah sure.
Grow the f#*k up and give her the stable home she deserves.
Probably because marriage doesn't mean that much to many people these days, hence the statement "It's just a piece of paper". If thats the case let Marriage die a good death.
or the term "taking care of a child" has no meaning in the first place for many. its not something many fully understand until they have actually experienced it.
^^^chill out and don't go pushing your morals onto other ppl's relationships.
did you read the other posts in the thread? many have given OP a wide variety of options.
He came here asking for input. I don't need to run my input past you for your approval.
This isn't just about my morals. There is a child involved here, a child the OP brought into being. His first priority should be to that child, not to his dick. Once you bring a child into the world, it's not all about you any more.
It does sound an awful lot like his personal sexual priorities and his priority to parent his daughter are going to continue to be in conflict. Kids don't stay young and ignorant of what is going on around them for forever.
It does sound an awful lot like his personal sexual priorities and his priority to parent his daughter are going to continue to be in conflict. Kids don't stay young and ignorant of what is going on around them for forever.
I have to agree.
He can get away with protecting his daughter from who he really is for the moment, she's only 4 after all. But kids aren't stupid. She'll be putting 2 and 2 together in a couple of years.
And a dad should never underestimate the damage done to a child when they see them behave without integrity.
He came here asking for input. I don't need to run my input past you for your approval.
This isn't just about my morals. There is a child involved here, a child the OP brought into being. His first priority should be to that child, not to his dick. Once you bring a child into the world, it's not all about you any more.
You can't force a man to make a child his first priority. That is why it is wise to get married before you have children. No it isn't a guarantee, but for sure you are better off giving birth to the offspring of a man who has pledged to spend the rest of his life with you. If his first priority is to his dick, you have to accept that his girlfriend has allowed that by shacking up with him in the first place.
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