how long did it take to get bored of the married lifestyle? (wife, marriage)
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Im curious how long did it take until you realized getting married wasnt really for you and that you had made a mistake or wished you never got married?
I just dont understand how people can live together for so many years stuck with the same person
I know marriage isnt for everybody, but Ive seen or known so many people that wasted their time marrying and remarrying one after another, I dont think I would ever want to experience that, it seems awful.
That never happened to me. I did make a mistake choosing my first wife and wished I hadn't married her, but I got it right with the second and am very happy with my choice.
Of course, marriage isn't for everyone, as you say. And an awful lot of people don't have any clue about choosing an appropriate spouse. I didn't the first time around, but made sure I educated myself thoroughly before trying again. Apparently, that has worked.
I think in a lot of cases marriage fails not because of marriage itself. Marriage fails because of the lack of character between the parties involved. It's not a honeymoon, it's a commitment. You're going to have some good times and you're going to have some bad times but the important thing is that you keep communication open and devote yourself to that person.
I've never been married, so i might be a little bias. But I believe marriage can and should work in most cases, but spouses must be able to put in the effort.
& yeah there are people who are just dumb and marry the wrong person. But I believe the majority of people have no excuse.
Im curious how long did it take until you realized getting married wasnt really for you and that you had made a mistake or wished you never got married?
I just dont understand how people can live together for so many years stuck with the same person
I know marriage isnt for everybody, but Ive seen or known so many people that wasted their time marrying and remarrying one after another, I dont think I would ever want to experience that, it seems awful.
I would say 2 years.
I say that because you are transforming 2 lives together and it takes time.
After 2 years and you see they could care less about certain things... Sadly nothing is going to change.
For example: they throw their shoes, drape their coat and dump their junk on the table when they return home. Well, I think after I show the coat room, shoe box and shelf for junk they will get it and do it. Not so. After 2 years you realize they are not doing it. No way no how .
Im curious how long did it take until you realized getting married wasnt really for you and that you had made a mistake or wished you never got married?
I just dont understand how people can live together for so many years stuck with the same person
I know marriage isnt for everybody, but Ive seen or known so many people that wasted their time marrying and remarrying one after another, I dont think I would ever want to experience that, it seems awful.
Just recently. I've been divorced twice but during those two marriages and subsequent divorces it wasn't the getting married that wasn't for me but the person I married and who the person I married had become. I actually believe marriage can be and often is a great thing. But at this point in my life I have considered that I just am not marriage material.
Personally, I stayed longer than I should have because I really tried to uphold my vows and make the marriage work.
I'm sure that in the marriages you have seen there were some good times as well and perhaps those people don't see their marriages as time wasted but as chapter in their lives.
very few ppl get married with a plan to get divorced. i wouldn't call it a mistake either.
couples just discover that along the way differences have developed that are significant to one, or that being married to that person wasn't the experience they thought it would be.
Unless something drastic changes, you should know within 1 year, and often times before you even marry, but you ignore the signs. Don't ignore the signs. If there's a little voice telling you that this person is not right for you, don't marry them. In hindsight,I knew on our first date, but I wanted him so bad anyway that I ignored the signs. I still wouldn't change anything that happened though. It was overall a good experience and I hope to marry again someday to a person who is a better fit for me. I am older and wiser now.
I just dont understand how people can live together for so many years stuck with the same person
I know marriage isnt for everybody, but Ive seen or known so many people that wasted their time marrying and remarrying one after another, I dont think I would ever want to experience that, it seems awful.
Not every relationship is going to work out, but if you go into it thinking that you're trapped and stuck with the same person, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Everyone who gets married does so with the thought that it will be forever. I agree with Taoist guy, you NEED to know who you are marrying and what their expectations and ideas are about marriage. One can be in for a VERY rude awaking when they see the other person's ideas about marriage, if they don't match yours.
I have often said on this forum, there are three things that make a marriage work and you learn them in preschool:
1. Be nice
2. Don't be mean
3. share
That boils down to respect and you have to give love to get love. It takes two people to make a marriage work and you either work together or against one another. I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you which one works best.
BTW everything gets boring, you need to find a way with your partner to make it interesting again.
Everyone who gets married does so with the thought that it will be forever. I agree with Toast guy, you NEED to know who you are marrying and what their expectations and ideas are about marriage. One can be in for a VERY rude awaking when they see the other person's ideas about marriage, if they don't match yours.
I have often said on this forum, there are three things that make a marriage work and you learn them in preschool:
1. Be nice
2. Don't be mean
3. share
That boils down to respect and you have to give love to get love. It takes two people to make a marriage work and you either work together or against one another. I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you which one works best.
BTW everything gets boring, you need to find a way with your partner to make it interesting again.
This...exactly!
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