Would you be willing to date a trans-person? (man, engagement, family)

[Serious Conversation]

Originally Posted by Sprite97

They have better luck with bisexual or pansexual men.

This. I'm bi, and have been with transwomen sexually, but never a serious relationship. I might consider it, but it's still fairly unlikely.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by jaycich

Some including myself don't see it that way. To me it's no different than a white person who thinks they're black. Them identifying as black doesn't make them black to everyone and you telling them they're wrong doesn't mean anything.

You're right, there are people that believe the earth is flat too, and telling someone that believes that despite how wrong they are won't mean anything to them.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by jaycich

Some including myself don't see it that way. To me it's no different than a white person who thinks they're black. Them identifying as black doesn't make them black to everyone and you telling them they're wrong doesn't mean anything.

If a white person says that they are black, I'm not going to argue with them. I don't really care how anyone wants to identify. I'm not the identity police. I do not have time to run around after the billions of human beings on this planet, forcing them to stay in the comfortably little defined boxes that I'm expecting to see them in.

But I have to laugh sometimes, considering that some are uncomfortable around a former man, who now identifies as a femme woman, and looks and acts the part, and act like that's some kind of an imposition on them, to think of this very feminine person as being female just because they are aware that they are/were in some manner biologically otherwise.

Yeah, you want a REAL challenge? Befriend a non-binary person who presents as androgynous, no gender performance at all, and uses "they/their/them" pronouns. I know a couple of 'em. Or a person who appears completely masculine yet is called by a female name and uses female pronouns for reasons that are none of your damn business. Just another day in the life for me, trying to remember to address these folks correctly (per their preference.)

I mean, I could be like you guys and refuse or avoid them or yell at them that they are "still a man" or whatever, but that would make me look like a jerk, and I'm not a jerk. I'm pretty nice. So...I do my best.

Or I guess I could stop hanging out where "weird people" are but then I'd be bored. And boring. No thanks.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by jaycich

Some including myself don't see it that way. To me it's no different than a white person who thinks they're black. Them identifying as black doesn't make them black to everyone and you telling them they're wrong doesn't mean anything.

Biology is what it is. I don't really have any skin in the game here. I don't care what people do in these terms. I have my opinions but I've recently sorta just made a conscious decision to say screw it. I'll be as respectful as I can when it comes to this sort of thing.


I'll call you whatever term/label/nomenclature you want.


I also expect the same respect back, that means not forcing others to expect to date you.


I won't tread on you, and you shouldn't tread on me. You do you, and I' do me. I say this as the general "you" not singling out this poster here that I quoted.

[Pilot1]

Originally Posted by timberline742

A transwoman is a woman. It's fine to be only attracted to ciswomen. But your statement is incorrect.

I consider a person male, or female to be how they were born, not who they become, or want to become through other means. So if you are a male, and have surgery, and take drugs to become, a "female", in my mind you are still a male. YMMV.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

Biology is what it is. I don't really have any skin in the game here. I don't care what people do in these terms. I have my opinions but I've recently sorta just made a conscious decision to say screw it. I'll be as respectful as I can when it comes to this sort of thing.
.

Biology is what it is. But gender is a social construct. We are not talking about biological sex or chromosomes, but of observed, for lack of a better word, phenotype.

Originally Posted by Pilot1

I consider a person male, or female to be how they were born, not who they become, or want to become through other means. So if you are a male, and have surgery, and take drugs to become, a "female", in my mind you are still a male. YMMV.

And yet many people are born neither, and even more you would never have any idea how they are born, and you, and everyone else, reacts to their observed gender.

[va_bank]

I really don't see why I have to accept people who don't accept themselves.

[exim36]

Why not, if there is "chemistry" simply: why not?

[Randomguy18]

I couldn’t, the fact that the transwoman was born a male is something that I wouldn’t be able to get past. I’m not interested in people who are or were male at any point. I don’t see trans women the same as I see natural-born women.

[_redbird_]

Would I date a transperson? Yes. I would also be friends with a transperson.

Originally Posted by Chowhound

Biology is what it is. I don't really have any skin in the game here. I don't care what people do in these terms. I have my opinions but I've recently sorta just made a conscious decision to say screw it. I'll be as respectful as I can when it comes to this sort of thing.


I'll call you whatever term/label/nomenclature you want.


I also expect the same respect back, that means not forcing others to expect to date you.


I won't tread on you, and you shouldn't tread on me. You do you, and I' do me. I say this as the general "you" not singling out this poster here that I quoted.

OMG! Someone FORCED others to expect to date a transperson?! Or were you personally FORCED to ... whatever. Never mind.

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

If a white person says that they are black, I'm not going to argue with them. I don't really care how anyone wants to identify. I'm not the identity police. I do not have time to run around after the billions of human beings on this planet, forcing them to stay in the comfortably little defined boxes that I'm expecting to see them in.

But I have to laugh sometimes, considering that some are uncomfortable around a former man, who now identifies as a femme woman, and looks and acts the part, and act like that's some kind of an imposition on them, to think of this very feminine person as being female just because they are aware that they are/were in some manner biologically otherwise.

Yeah, you want a REAL challenge? Befriend a non-binary person who presents as androgynous, no gender performance at all, and uses "they/their/them" pronouns. I know a couple of 'em. Or a person who appears completely masculine yet is called by a female name and uses female pronouns for reasons that are none of your damn business. Just another day in the life for me, trying to remember to address these folks correctly (per their preference.)

I mean, I could be like you guys and refuse or avoid them or yell at them that they are "still a man" or whatever, but that would make me look like a jerk, and I'm not a jerk. I'm pretty nice. So...I do my best.

Or I guess I could stop hanging out where "weird people" are but then I'd be bored. And boring. No thanks.

I love this post. I am one of those "weird people" and we love having you hang out with us.

Originally Posted by va_bank

I really don't see why I have to accept people who don't accept themselves.

You don't HAVE to accept anyone, no one said that. The OP simply asks would you date a transperson.