Does she (my wife) love our son more than she loves me (husband, children)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You need to learn to adapt. A woman's love for her child is much different than her love for her spouse. It sounds like you havent adjusted to having a child yet.
While you may think you're doing a lot, put yourself in your wifes shoes. She does NOT have an off switch for work, nor does she ever get a day off. You go off to work, clock in clock out. A stay at home mom doesnt get to turn the switch OFF.
Why do you think i don't help my wife out in every way possible ?
I cook several times a week wash and iron clothes and take care of my son and my wife. All this while paying 100 percent of the bills . I make sure to let my wife know she’s appreciated. I buy her gifts . She does not take care of our son by herself.
I am not jealous of my son even though I do not get any attention from my wife.
I agree that a significant shift happens when a child is brought into the home; however, it sounds like she's completely flipped off the wife switch.
There should be a balance. You should be able to go to dinner for an hour or two to focus on each other once a week. You should be able to set aside an hour each evening after the baby is down to catch up with each other (keep in mind, reconnecting does not necessarily mean sex).
She can make time if she wants to, and you can help by doing a task she would normally do to give her a little extra boost. I know plenty of new parents who make it work.
I also have a friend who is in your shoes. His wife's life revolves around their 3 year old and it has all but destroyed their relationship. She refused to go back to work after he was born and stayed home for a year until they were in so much debt, they almost sank. She has never made the child sleep in his room; he sleeps between them in bed (we all know what that means). She also cannot go on a "date" without rushing through it just to get home. Like you, the husband feels like he's been reduced to an errand boy. He loves his child, of course, and is a great dad. Unfortunately, I think his wife has some kind of attachment disorder when it comes to their son: she takes off work because of it a lot as well.
It's not healthy for anyone involved. I, too, think some kind of counseling is in order. Maybe she just needs to be reassured that she's not being a bad mom by making room for you (and herself).
You need to learn to adapt. A woman's love for her child is much different than her love for her spouse. It sounds like you havent adjusted to having a child yet.
While you may think you're doing a lot, put yourself in your wifes shoes. She does NOT have an off switch for work, nor does she ever get a day off. You go off to work, clock in clock out. A stay at home mom doesnt get to turn the switch OFF.
Different smifferent, most parents love their children more than their spouse.
Yes, I think she loves your son more than you; and I don't like that. I strongly believe in putting your husband before your kids. The reason I say this is because (like you said), he'll start to feel lonely. Next thing you'll know, everything thing is about your son. You see how he interfere with something as simple as date night? It'll get worse. Then, it'll be about Jackson and preschool and his activities. Then, it'll be about Jackson and school. If you have another child, it'll be about Jackson and the new baby.
If she keeps this up, you'll probably be divorced by the time he starts elementary school (statistically true - read this for proof).
Thanks for the response and articles. They were interesting to read. The possibility of every scenario you pointed out is huge. But i don't think i could ever divorce her (i love her too much).
I just wish we could have some time together (like the old days). I love jackson very much and want to raise him in best way possible. But i don't think it could happen if we as parents are not in the same page and be a united front.
I just feel like she does not want to do anything with me anymore.
I think it is true that most parents love their child(ren) more then their spouse. If you think about it, in a life or death situation and you can only save your child OR your spouse, which would you save? I'm willing to bet the vast majority would save their child.
I agree that a significant shift happens when a child is brought into the home; however, it sounds like she's completely flipped off the wife switch.
There should be a balance. You should be able to go to dinner for an hour or two to focus on each other once a week. You should be able to set aside an hour each evening after the baby is down to catch up with each other (keep in mind, reconnecting does not necessarily mean sex).
She can make time if she wants to, and you can help by doing a task she would normally do to give her a little extra boost. I know plenty of new parents who make it work.
I also have a friend who is in your shoes. His wife's life revolves around their 3 year old and it has all but destroyed their relationship. She refused to go back to work after he was born and stayed home for a year until they were in so much debt, they almost sank. She has never made the child sleep in his room; he sleeps between them in bed (we all know what that means). She also cannot go on a "date" without rushing through it just to get home. Like you, the husband feels like he's been reduced to an errand boy. He loves his child, of course, and is a great dad. Unfortunately, I think his wife has some kind of attachment disorder when it comes to their son: she takes off work because of it a lot as well.
It's not healthy for anyone involved. I, too, think some kind of counseling is in order. Maybe she just needs to be reassured that she's not being a bad mom by making room for you (and herself).
If 5 minutes of date nights could make her so uncomfortable then i don't know why would she ever want to spend any alone time with me ?
I think it is true that most parents love their child(ren) more then their spouse. If you think about it, in a life or death situation and you can only save your child OR your spouse, which would you save? I'm willing to bet the vast majority would save their child.
Its obvious that you would save those who are the most vulnerable and can't save themselves like children but life and death situation has nothing to do with love.
Some of you are turning this topic to another subject.
I think maybe you need to bring this up with your wife. She likely assumes you are okay with it, because you agree with her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
