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That's what many a man says before slipping into cheating.
What? That he is not attracted to me sexually? That only came up when his wife had the problem. I feel the same way. I'm not attracted to him. I just like his personality. He's a cool guy and he's helped me at work. I have no intention of ever having sex with him at all. I have no romantic or sexual feelings toward him whatsoever. I would never put myself in a situation with him to cheat.
IMO, sounds like a bit of trouble in paradise.
But from the guys perspective actually.
IMO, the amount of time HE spends with you is too much. But you are single, you aren' really doing anything wrong.
He should be doing these things with his wife. The fact that 'she has better things to do' tells me they dont have common interests. I know for a fact that I need to be in a relationship with a woman who 'has nothing better to do' than hang out with me after work a least occasionally. I would WANT her there and in that part of my life.
But thats just me, some couples are like your friend and his wife. But I know that would probably not work for me.
I want my s/o to be my friend, and i want my s/o to think of me as a friend. We aren't just bf/gf, husband/wife.
I guess she's being "snotty" to you, because (for her) there IS a problem with you enjoying an hour long beer with her husband every day after work. Maybe she's jealous of that time, whatever, He was wise to cut it back..You are being very unfair to say things about a woman (he should take the leash off) that you hardly know...behind her back. That doesn't sound like you "respect their marriage" at all...more like you're trying to "wrack up" points against her.
Usually she works until 530 and doesn't get home until 630. So it's not like I'm "stealing" time away from her with her husband. She has no reason to think that. I have been nothing but nice to her and invited her to come with us and even asked her if she wanted to do stuff together. It seems she is the one who is trying to "wrack up" points against me and make it into a competition when it's not.
I guess she's being "snotty" to you, because (for her) there IS a problem with you enjoying an hour long beer with her husband every day after work. Maybe she's jealous of that time, whatever, He was wise to cut it back..You are being very unfair to say things about a woman (he should take the leash off) that you hardly know...behind her back. That doesn't sound like you "respect their marriage" at all...more like you're trying to "wrack up" points against her.
I donno, I kind of think the OP is calling a spade a spade.
But the guy is handling this wrong. Kinda sounds like he is in party mode, andhiswife would rather do other things.
What? That he is not attracted to me sexually? That only came up when his wife had the problem. I feel the same way. I'm not attracted to him. I just like his personality. He's a cool guy and he's helped me at work. I have no intention of ever having sex with him at all. I have no romantic or sexual feelings toward him whatsoever. I would never put myself in a situation with him to cheat.
No, that "he doesn't see a problem" and that his wife is "overreacting" - all said many times to justify continuing a relationship that a guy doesn't want to give up.
And FYI, sexual/physical attraction can change - especially once you already really like someone's personality.
It's great that you have "no intention" of any romance or sex with him - but as a married man he has an obligation to his wife and marriage not to put himself in this kind of situation.
Leave this alone. You are hanging out frequently with a married man who's wife is not happy about it and rightfully so. Don't be responsible for causing strife in a marriage. Find different friends.
There are boundaries you have to respect when it comes to married people. Hanging out every day with a married man outside of work (without the wife) is not ok, especially if the wife doesn't like it.
Him inviting you over for dinner was probably too little too late.
I agree here. Married couples have a certain boundary that needs to be respected.
If his wife has made it obvious that she disapproves of your relationship, then you should respect that and stop contacting/hanging out with her husband.
It's irrelevant whether or not she feels insecure or threatened or jealous. THe fact remains, she disapproves. Her behavior doesn't need justification. It needs acceptance.
I have 3 very close guy friends and I never hang out with their wives or girlfriends by myself. It's out of respect for them. They trust me and I trust myself, but quite honestly it's just not a good look to put yourself in that type of situation. All it takes is one person seeing you out and seeing something innocent, that meant nothing, and relaying it back to the other partner.
I think you can have very platonic relationships as a single person, with a married friend, but all 3 parties have to be on the same page. In your situation, only 2 parties are on the same page. Since his wife is not ok with it, this is when you part ways and scale back and respect their marriage. If he comes back later and says he divorced his wife, or she starts coming along for happy hour, then you can resume that kind of friendship.
In your situation you are fighting with fire, and those situations is where people get hurt, fired, or even possibly murdered.
What? That he is not attracted to me sexually? That only came up when his wife had the problem. I feel the same way. I'm not attracted to him. I just like his personality. He's a cool guy and he's helped me at work. I have no intention of ever having sex with him at all. I have no romantic or sexual feelings toward him whatsoever. I would never put myself in a situation with him to cheat.
How old are you and him? You can say that and he can say that but his wife will never *know* that. And that could change.
And that's assuming he's being honest, which I doubt. Of course he's not going to say it yet because it would end the fun.
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