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I’m a forty-eight year old man...
After a year of such dating games, I put the filters on high. By this time in life, I knew exactly what I wanted, so I simply screened out all women to avoid the chaos. I made a list of things I found unacceptable and what I wanted. Then I’d simply chat up anybody I was interested in, and eliminate people according to whether their interests and desires from life that didn’t match my own....I don’t really feel any disappointment when I talk to a woman and realize that I’m not right for her.
Yay! You have learned how to date . That's how it works. I hope the young guys here will learn from you.
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From this man’s perspective, women are terrifying. I don’t make enough money to suit them, my material wealth is nil, 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and 70+% of divorces are initiated/filed by women. Even with a prenuptial agreement, women will almost always walk away with 50% of the assets even if she brought nothing to the table, child support, alimony, if the relationship produces children, many men realize that all ties to said children will be severed or extremely curtailed as the result of a separation/divorce
Dude, you have been reading the wrong websites and they've got you believing a whole pile of BS.
First off, you are almost 50 years old. There are not going to be any kids.
Second, most people marry someone who 'brings to the table' about the same amount they do. If you are 50/50 going in then, yes, the judge will probably set you at 50/50 going out. Seems reasonable.
Third, you said you have no money. So why are you worried about women stealing it?
Don't be down on yourself and don't take it personally, but do look at your habits and see what you might be doing wrong. Some of it could be bad luck, some of it could be you're choosing the wrong guys. Some of it could be nothing related to you at all - the guy was dating multiple people and liked someone else better, who knows. I did online dating last year and I had a string of one month mini relationships where I ended up being disappointed or feeling rejected or where the guy just vanished and I never knew what happened. Even the most beautiful and interesting women get rejected (hey look at Sandra Bullock!).
I've been on a long break and it's been really nice and given me time to think about why none of those guys turned into real relationships. I think sometimes things just don't work out. It's not a good match for whatever reason. And some of the guys I tried to date, the writing was on the wall right away that they probably weren't serious relationship minded, but I ignored my gut feelings and pursued things anyway.
When you try dating again, try to manage your expectations better. Try to choose guys that really seem interested in you. If a guy says he will call you tomorrow and he doesn't call you for a week, then really think if he is someone worthy of your time. Think about what qualities are important to you. Everyone has deal breakers, but think about expanding your criteria and dating outside of your usual type. And don't get too excited about a few good dates. I was guilty of hitting it off with someone and getting about ten steps ahead of myself. Be friendly and open, but don't get so giddy over someone that you let yourself get emotionally attached to them before they show that they feel the same way about you.
I hope that helps! I know it's hard to date after a lot of rejection, but I think if you are confident in yourself then you won't take the rejection so personally and you'll realize it's just part of dating and everyone goes through it.
I have been on several dates this year and all of them have led nowhere! Usually the guy just ends up vanishing off the face of the earth after dating for about a month. This has happened about 5 times this year!! Everytime I am left hurt and disappointed. I don't know if it's something i'm doing? Is it just bad luck with these particular guys? I recently met a guy that I think is pretty cool...but they all seem this way in the beginning. Is there a way to weed out guys who are just stringing me along and playing games? I am soooo sick of rejection! Should I just stop dating or is this just something you have to learn to deal with? Should I go on the date? I have been taking the last three months off to focus on me and regroup after so many failed relationships but I'm afraid to jump back in only to be rejected yet again. I don't know how i'd take it! I feel that my self esteem is shattered everytime and it takes months to rebuild it only to have it destroyed again
Regardless of the WHY, rejection is part of dating.
If you can't handle rejection, perhaps you should wait on dating untill you are in a better place to deal with rejection.
It pretty much comes with the territory.
Boy, you just can't win. I posted a thread about a guy disappearing after 5 weeks, and we had seen each other 4-5 times a week and had had sex. The consensus was I gave it up too soon (which I agreed with)! Good grief.
Boy, you just can't win. I posted a thread about a guy disappearing after 5 weeks, and we had seen each other 4-5 times a week and had had sex. The consensus was I gave it up too soon (which I agreed with)! Good grief.
Yep. I think if a guy is prone to disappear then he will whether it's been one date or 20. But there are a lot of double standards.
Boy, you just can't win. I posted a thread about a guy disappearing after 5 weeks, and we had seen each other 4-5 times a week and had had sex. The consensus was I gave it up too soon (which I agreed with)! Good grief.
Yeah. Three months is too long to make a guy wait, and one month is too short...but not really?
Boy, you just can't win. I posted a thread about a guy disappearing after 5 weeks, and we had seen each other 4-5 times a week and had had sex. The consensus was I gave it up too soon (which I agreed with)! Good grief.
I have found opinions on this board tend to change with the direction of the wind. Someone else could post this today and be told the guy probably disappeared because he was being smothered by seeing each other so often. Take it with a grain of salt.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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You're complaining about them disappearing and playing games. The reality of the situation is that they go out with you a few times, 2,5,10,15 and then they realize they're just not into you. That is what dating is about. Getting to know someone. The majority of the time. The VAST majority, you get to know them and one party or the other (or both) decide you're not the right person. That is what this is all about.
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. That's how it works. I hope the young guys here will learn from you.
