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I think you now learned that less information is better than too much. The question didn't do anything, but the fact that you said you want to end it early for errands sounds pretty bad. Come on man, that's just dumb..
It looks like I've totally blown it with a girl who seemed super interested in me all because of one question I ask.
We were planning out our 2nd date to just hang out and have a Walking Dead marathon. She wanted to do it at my place. I don't mind having women over, but the only thing I don't like is I have no control on when the date ends. I can't just say ok, time for you to leave.
So she asked via text what time to meet, and I suggested 12 noon.
Her reply: ok
Then I asked if she would mind if we ended the date around 4 or 5ish as I had errands to run later.
Her response was basically since I was so busy we could meet another time. No more communication after that. I'm not sure if this is anything I can say to repair the damage with the kind of angry response.
I don't think my request was that unreasonable, and if she had asked me the same thing, I wouldn't get mad, or certainly just end everything over a single disagreement It's surprising because she has been extremely sweet and laid back until now, but sometimes the sweet girls are the ones who can turn on a dime.
Probably should have said you have dinner plans with your 90 year old grandmother at 5.
This is how I read it too. It just seems like he's not that interested in spending time with her and that it's almost a hassle to have to make time in his day to see her. He wants to see her on his terms and his terms only (his house, gone by a certain time). She also could have read it as he just wants to hook up and that it needs to be done in a specific time frame.
Or maybe she thinks you have important stuff to do and doesn't want to be an imposition. Personally, if someone had a time limit on how long they wanted to spend with me I'd assume they weren't that interested in me in the first place.
For me it is a red flag, every time the guy specifies that they have to run elsewhere for some important meeting etc. In my book, the only exceptions are professional athletes b/c they have a lot of training to do every day and generally need to be disciplined etc when training for a big event/season.
For me it is a red flag, every time the guy specifies that they have to run elsewhere for some important meeting etc. In my book, the only exceptions are professional athletes b/c they have a lot of training to do every day and generally need to be disciplined etc when training for a big event/season.
So no other guy is allowed to have anything to do besides see you? lol
Looks like I'm just about the only one taking this stance - kind of a red flag if she's going to be all passive aggressive. She could have said, "Well, sounds like you're busy, why don't we meet on the 29th?" or something like that. Not just responding angrily and then cutting off communication.
It looks like I've totally blown it with a girl who seemed super interested in me all because of one question I ask.
We were planning out our 2nd date to just hang out and have a Walking Dead marathon. She wanted to do it at my place. I don't mind having women over, but the only thing I don't like is I have no control on when the date ends. I can't just say ok, time for you to leave.
So she asked via text what time to meet, and I suggested 12 noon.
Her reply: ok
Then I asked if she would mind if we ended the date around 4 or 5ish as I had errands to run later.
Her response was basically since I was so busy we could meet another time. No more communication after that. I'm not sure if this is anything I can say to repair the damage with the kind of angry response.
I don't think my request was that unreasonable, and if she had asked me the same thing, I wouldn't get mad, or certainly just end everything over a single disagreement It's surprising because she has been extremely sweet and laid back until now, but sometimes the sweet girls are the ones who can turn on a dime.
Maybe she wanted to jump your bones, you didn't come through so she found somebody else to do it to her.
I think you now learned that less information is better than too much. The question didn't do anything, but the fact that you said you want to end it early for errands sounds pretty bad. Come on man, that's just dumb..
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09
So no other guy is allowed to have anything to do besides see you? lol
I would say if you want to salvage things, ask her again, something like, "hey, just seeing if you are still up for Walking Dead..." and then follow it up by, "And would you like to also meet me for dinner around 7pm that same day?"
This does a few things. Gives you a way to ask her again... and it also makes it clear that you don't have another date after her (and that you still see her as a date, not a friend). And on top of all that, she's meeting you out, so you don't have to worry about her staying too late (which was the reason you wanted to stop around 4-5 in the first place).
I think that might work.
But I also agree with Julie4530, this woman you are seeing is being a passive aggressive jerk cutting off all communication over something trivial. She may have just been angry and slipped up, but I would watch out for more of that behavior in the future.
EDIT: And to answer the original question, no, it wouldn't make me mad. I probably wouldn't think twice about it.
Looks like I'm just about the only one taking this stance - kind of a red flag if she's going to be all passive aggressive. She could have said, "Well, sounds like you're busy, why don't we meet on the 29th?" or something like that. Not just responding angrily and then cutting off communication.
That's definitely true, but at the same time she may have interpreted his comment about ending early for errands as him blowing her off and she decided to cut her losses. After one date it's not like they have to have a serious talk about the future or anything.
Looks like I'm just about the only one taking this stance - kind of a red flag if she's going to be all passive aggressive. She could have said, "Well, sounds like you're busy, why don't we meet on the 29th?" or something like that. Not just responding angrily and then cutting off communication.
Interesting. I didnt think that initially. but maybe....
The one thing I would consider is the following: The woman was into you enough to come over to your place for a movie marathon on a second date. First off, Applause. two, it means she was comfortable with you, and you scheduling an end time regardless of whether or not it was 'fair', will most likely turn off even a turned on woman, as you just learned.
Next time a woman is up to be a guest at your place OP, dont schedule an end time. For all you know, perhaps she wanted to spend the night.
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