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I won't date any women so fat that the following apply:
- Has more chins than the Chinese phone book
- Looks at a menu and says "OK!"
- Sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose
- Wakes up in sections
- I tell her to haul her butt over and she makes 2 trips
- She refused to swim on her trip to Japan because whaling is still legal there
- Obamacare doesn't cover her. Nor does a circus tent.
- I wanted to talk about her behind her back but my car only had half a tank of gas
- Has smaller fat women orbiting her
- After sex you roll over 3 times and are still on her
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