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So, GF and I got into a bit of an argument yesterday. Big difference is, my life is in a real rhythm. I've got a steady job and no real drama in my life.
She has a TON going on right now. Very busy. And I understand that and let her know that I understand it.
Last night though we argued for a while, and she got completely overwhelmed. She said, "just give me a couple days to get my life a little bit back together and then we can figure this out."
And I said, "Sure, take some time to clear your head and then we will get back on the same page."
But I must admit, it already sucks not hearing from her at all even after half a day. All I want to do is get back on the same page and make things right. But I know that she needs a couple days to cool down and take care of her other business before putting in the time to set things straight again.
Ugh! How do people normally deal with situations like this? I can't even focus on work or normal things because I'm too antsy - if I had it my way we would just go ahead and work things out, but I know I need to be patient.
Take your own advice. Be patient and give her the space she needs. It's going to serve you both better in the end. Maybe just send her a text tomorrow morning letting her know you care and you're thinking about her. Don't press her or ask her to do anything. Just something to let her know she's on your mind. Let her be the one to come back when she's ready.
If she's into stuff like this, I would send her a gift certificate for a spa or massage treatment. Non-intruding, some thing that will relax her (when she has time), and supportive.
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If she's into stuff like this, I would send her a gift certificate for a spa or massage treatment. Non-intruding, some thing that will relax her (when she has time), and supportive.
I like this. It would let her know you're think of her, but at the same time you're not being pushy (like setting up a date). And it will help her relax.
Ugh! How do people normally deal with situations like this? I can't even focus on work or normal things because I'm too antsy - if I had it my way we would just go ahead and work things out, but I know I need to be patient.
#1 it all depends on what the argument was about. Running away is not the answer either and if every time there is an argument and she or you run away, then that is not healthy.
#2 when you get back, you have to let her know that you are not into the couple of days break. If she is allowed a couple days break, then you are allowed 1 week and she will not utter a word. See how that goes down.... Its about communication brother and also as a man, being understanding but handling the situation and not let anyone "escape". If it is that bad that you guys need couple day breaks then you should figure out what it is that is driving you guys to want or need to take a few days apart after an argument. When you live together with someone, there is no days break. We are human so it doesn't matter if you are married or not.
If she's into stuff like this, I would send her a gift certificate for a spa or massage treatment. Non-intruding, some thing that will relax her (when she has time), and supportive.
it depends on the argument. If she ran out over something silly, then that needs to be addressed by him as a man and there is no need to go sending flowers or a gift certificate. It's about handling it right then and there. As soon as anyone in a relationship allows the "couple days break" routine, then control of the situation is lost and that will forever be the means of dealing with issues- by running and hiding.
it depends on the argument. If she ran out over something silly, then that needs to be addressed by him as a man and there is no need to go sending flowers or a gift certificate. It's about handling it right then and there. As soon as anyone in a relationship allows the "couple days break" routine, then control of the situation is lost and that will forever be the means of dealing with issues- by running and hiding.
I do agree to a certain extent. If it was something silly, then no, I wouldn't do anything. But if the OP thinks the situation was reasonable, and agrees that her situation is pretty overwhelming, then I think it is a kind gesture.
I don't know if the time out was reasonable or not. I know when I was selling my house which was a large property loaded with junks from my late husband, I needed a few time outs just to deal with stuff. Not a time out where you go date other guys or anything like that.
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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
#1 it all depends on what the argument was about. Running away is not the answer either and if every time there is an argument and she or you run away, then that is not healthy.
#2 when you get back, you have to let her know that you are not into the couple of days break. If she is allowed a couple days break, then you are allowed 1 week and she will not utter a word. See how that goes down.... Its about communication brother and also as a man, being understanding but handling the situation and not let anyone "escape". If it is that bad that you guys need couple day breaks then you should figure out what it is that is driving you guys to want or need to take a few days apart after an argument. When you live together with someone, there is no days break. We are human so it doesn't matter if you are married or not.
Bolded. YES. Great advise there.
Not a fan of a couple days. If she hooks up with someone over the weekend, is it cheating now? "Well, we are/were on a break"
I understand needing a couple days, but not the break part. And if needing a couple days includes no contact, then I would be concerned.
It takes seconds to say hi via text. And if that stresses her too much, then she may not be in a place where a relationship is feasible for her.
In womans language a "break" usually means "exploring other options". Believe it, don't believe it...its the way it is. Great base for justifying stepping out on your SO. "But we weren't even together...." right.
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