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rights and responsibilities are a favorite welfare office term. applied to dating?
who is going to enforce it?
the dating cops? that used to be mom and pop but we got rid of that.
respect? a favorite hood theme. lots of people get killed over this issue and none other but i dont think very often in dating.
Believe or not, over the course of their lives, most people develop internal controls that limit their ruthless pursuit of self-interest. We refer to these internal controls with words like "compassion," "decency" and "empathy." Without the capacity to develop these internal controls, the human race would have died out long ago. We wouldn't have been able to coexist peacefully, or cooperate in the interests of our own survival.
Of course, no one applies these controls all the time. A few don't seem to apply them at all; these people we describe with words like "sociopath." But most people navigate most situations in their lives with the help of these controls. And they do it without enforcers prodding them along.
Men do the exact same thing. It is not a gender issue.
The majority of average-looking men do not do this. Many of the good-looking men, the men who are popular with women and get most of the sex, do this and they build this amusing harem of women they don't sleep with(like how women know their ''guy friends'' want to sleep with them) but use them to get homework done, to get their work done, or to simply receive free female attention.
On the other hand, most of the women alive today and younger than 40 do this on a daily basis. Women using men's sex drive(a man's teens and 20's are really complicated, most women can be attractive to these guys) to get anything they want, from free meals, guys carrying their books, guys getting whatever the girls want, and girls and women using men to boost their self-esteem and to increase their own value in the social female hierarchy. I remmber how girls would giggle and talk amongst themselves, telling keeping score on what x guy did for her that day. Women compete too.
Responsibility? I do not know if that is the right term.
I feel that I personally have a moral obligation to not lie, manipulate, mislead, and mistreat people. I also have an expecation of the same in return.
I am not sure that means I think it is someone else's responsibility to return my own expectations either. However, if they do not, chances are I would not begin to date, or continue dating them.
I am not exactly sure how you apply rights and responsibilities to dating. Those concepts are self imposed, and are mostly based on social/religious inhibitions. If there is some sort of list of rules that you want to hold yourself true to, then everyone has a freedom to do so. Imposing them on others or judging others views, in the other hand, is little below the belt however and fruitless.
From a philosophical standpoint, perhaps in a perfect world, yes.
But, life isnt a fairy tale.
There's two or three options:
1. Live by the golden rule. Chances are, many people will take advantage of this if they are able to.
2. assimilate and do whatever it takes to get whatever you want/need and justify it by stating, "It's in my best interest, therefore it is ok."
3. Infuse a combination of ethics with necessary survival behaviors that allow you to reach your maximum potential while maintaining a minimum collateral damage.
Supply and demand creates tricky scenarios. Adding hormones to that complicates things more.
It's can be tough out there if you don't surround yourself with some people you can trust.
Live long and prosper, and may the force be with you.
From a philosophical standpoint, perhaps in a perfect world, yes.
But, life isnt a fairy tale.
There's two or three options:
1. Live by the golden rule. Chances are, many people will take advantage of this if they are able to.
2. assimilate and do whatever it takes to get whatever you want/need and justify it by stating, "It's in my best interest, therefore it is ok."
3. Infuse a combination of ethics with necessary survival behaviors that allow you to reach your maximum potential while maintaining a minimum collateral damage.
Supply and demand creates tricky scenarios. Adding hormones to that complicates things more.
It's can be tough out there if you don't surround yourself with some people you can trust.
Live long and prosper, and may the force be with you.
I think the vast majority of people will fall in camp 3. Camps 1 or 2 are simply too impractical.
I think of this topic more in terms of many people worrying about what a partner can offer them, with little regard to what they themselves have to offer to a partner and relationship.
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