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It's a bit of a long story but I'll try to condense it as much as possible.
I met a man at work who flirted with me a lot. Finally he asked me out. We went on dates and saw each other for about a month. I hadn't heard from him in a week, although I understood he had to work quite a bit. I texted him and asked him how he was. He apologized and told me work was a bit draining. That was that, and I still didn't hear from him for days after the text.
I've been used before, so I try to be guarded. I thought that maybe he was doing this with me, because he didn't even talk about the possibility of being exclusive in the near future. A few days after not hearing from him I texted him again. I tried to be as nice as possible, but I asked him to bring me a few things I left at his house in return for his. He was very short and in the end he agreed by just texting "okay."
The next day he left work early. Before he left I asked him if we could exchange before work the day after that. He told me he wasn't worried about getting his things back (a playstation among them). I asked him what his deal was, and he told me he'd get them back eventually. I then asked him if he'd even bothered to bring me my belongings, and he said no. I told him to meet me in the parking lot the next day. He said okay and made a joke about it.
I went up to his car with his things in a bag. He didn't say hello, he just looked up at me and demanded I give him his belongings immediately. After I gave him the bag he told me he didn't bring me my stuff. I got upset and told him to keep my things as a parting gift. He thought about it and said, "are you serious?" I said yes and walked away.
I try to ignore him at work now, because it just angers me that he couldn't at least think of me for a second and return my things. He tries to talk to me like nothing happened. I can't make sense of the situation. Did I react irrationally?
He sounds like a real nutjob. Gawd only knows how his control issues and lack of empathy would have played out if you two had continued the relationship.
This is the kind of guy the phrase 'dodged a bullet' was made for.
The guy sounds like an *******. Forget him and move on. At the same time if you've been used/hurt before, don't tarnish us all with the same brush, we're not all like this.
You should have stood up to him a bit more when asking for your stuff back though IMO.
He sounds like a real nutjob. Gawd only knows how his control issues and lack of empathy would have played out if you two had continued the relationship.
This is the kind of guy the phrase 'dodged a bullet' was made for.
Thanks. I'd like to think that I was the mature person in this situation but he made me feel like it was the other way around. lol
You two dated enough over the course of a month that you had left things at each other's places... and not the things you may forget to grab like a comb or something but things you would take when you move in like a Playstation....
This reads like fiction.
Anyway, sounds to me like he thought this was more of a fun, or casual hookup, and after only a month you sound like you were anticipating a ring or something. He probably noticed how "serious" you wanted to be and he didn't, so he backed away.
Yes, he could have handled it better, but I have a feeling lack of communication about where both of you thought this would go is the real culprit.
Uh, no. It's not fiction. He stayed over my house quite a bit and he PURPOSELY left his stuff at my house. I know this because the first time he left his console he smugly told me he would come back for it one day. Even after coming over multiple times he still did not take it back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24
Wait a second...
.... and after only a month you sound like you were anticipating a ring or something. He probably noticed how "serious" you wanted to be and he didn't, so he backed away.
No, I'm not looking for marriage right away. I don't even know where you pulled that one out from. I didn't even talk to him about being exclusive. I gave him the opportunity to mention exclusivity, even if not NOW but in the near future, and he didn't so I ended it. I didn't even get emotional over it, nor did I turn it into a big deal. He actually tried to make it more difficult by not returning my things when I gave him the opportunity to do so twice.
Be glad to be rid of him. Sounds like a jerk. Don't leave stuff nor let stuff be left too early in the relationship.
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