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I just broke up with my gf last week because it seems that her parents kept speaking on her behalf all the time. I don't know if that was a fair reason but I got tired of the fact that she can't speak her own mind and I felt as if I wasn't dating my gf but her parents.
They made a big deal when I returned her home only 10-15 minutes later (it was my grandfather's birthday and I couldn't just dismissed it) and now after nearly 5 months of dating the situation with her parents still hasn't improve too much. I felt uncomfortable from the start and had a feeling it would be too much of a hassle.
After I told my parents about my first meeting with them (and that's how they still kept treating me), they weren't interested in meeting her parents. I kept feeling as if I was playing good/bad cop.
I just broke up with my gf last week because it seems that her parents kept speaking on her behalf all the time. I don't know if that was a fair reason but I got tired of the fact that she can't speak her own mind and I felt as if I wasn't dating my gf but her parents.
They made a big deal when I returned her home only 10-15 minutes later (it was my grandfather's birthday and I couldn't just dismissed it) and now after nearly 5 months of dating the situation with her parents still hasn't improve too much. I felt uncomfortable from the start and had a feeling it would be too much of a hassle.
After I told my parents about my first meeting with them (and that's how they still kept treating me), they weren't interested in meeting her parents. I kept feeling as if I was playing good/bad cop.
Sounds similar to the hockey player Eric Lindros, Momma and daddy tell them to do this and do that. You probably did the right thing and walked. Maybe one day she'll put on big girl pants and realize mom and dad can't keep talking for her. I don't see what's wrong with 10-15 minutes late unless it's on a repeated basis. Also, you noted that it was going to be a "hassle" and it did. Stick to your gut, it is usually right when your brain is wrong. Gut knows whats best.
Why are you asking others if the break up is worth it?
Read the words you wrote then decide for yourself if the situation is worth staying in.
It wasn't easy. I still have feelings for her and might have work it out with her over protective parents still viewing me as another bloke trying to get in her pants. Though to be honest, I was already running out of patience; I don't appreciate feeling accused in that manner as I'm a relationship only guy; have only been with 2 gfs prior to her because I don't like casual sex. The fact that she's can't decide what she wants and sometimes even changed her mind because of what her parents said got me fed up.
The first thing that got me upset early on was the whole ''Oh my daughter is waiting till marriage'' part. My gf told me herself that she believes in waiting till she feels ready but not necessarily marriage. Suddenly she changes her mind after what they said. This doesn't sound like a young woman that can decide on her own.
If a girl can't speak up, is it worth breaking up?
I just broke up with my gf last week because it seems that her parents kept speaking on her behalf all the time. I don't know if that was a fair reason but I got tired of the fact that she can't speak her own mind and I felt as if I wasn't dating my gf but her parents.
They made a big deal when I returned her home only 10-15 minutes later (it was my grandfather's birthday and I couldn't just dismissed it) and now after nearly 5 months of dating the situation with her parents still hasn't improve too much. I felt uncomfortable from the start and had a feeling it would be too much of a hassle.
After I told my parents about my first meeting with them (and that's how they still kept treating me), they weren't interested in meeting her parents. I kept feeling as if I was playing good/bad cop.
Why ask the question when you've already broken up with her?
Are you looking for people to just tell you you did the right thing or what?
Here's the reality that you seem to want to ignore....
The GIRL is a teenager who still lives at home.
OF COURSE her parents are going to be involved in her life and have some rules about her comings and goings.
It's not that she "can't speak up for herself" - it's that she is has not grown up enough yet to have earned the right to come and go as she pleases.
That wasn't the case with my 2 prior exes. I do realize her parents want to get involved in life and would have possibly put a polygraph on me if they went to that extreme but it's her sudden agreement to things her parents said when that's not what she wanted initially. I'll give you another example. She told me about her plans to moving out and living at her college dorm towards March of next year and suddenly she won't do that and wants to continue living at home till she graduates.
Why ask the question when you've already broken up with her?
I just wanted to update my situation. At some point I thought things would get better but they haven't. Even if she was turning 20 by May, that wouldn't change things.
That wasn't the case with my 2 prior exes. I do realize her parents want to get involved in life and would have possibly put a polygraph on me if they went to that extreme but it's her sudden agreement to things her parents said when that's not what she wanted initially. I'll give you another example. She told me about her plans to moving out and living at her college dorm towards March of next year and suddenly she won't do that and wants to continue living at home till she graduates.
Every family is different, but in general when teens are still living at home Mom and Dad make the rules. If you had prior girlfriends with less rules then maybe those parents just weren't doing their jobs
Maybe in order for these parents to be able to afford the daughters college tuition they need for her to live at home - it happens.
But whatever the family dynamics are, it's clear you were not the right guy for her and vice versa - move on.
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