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You probably lack personality. You're probably polite to point of being robotic about it. You're probably predictable.
There's no edge, no daring, no fun with people like that.
I think what makes a person interesting is that they are interestED in a lot of things. People who find a lot of things fascinating, and pursue those interests, are interesting. No one is as boring as someone who is bored easily, and says it. "I'm bored, what do you want to do" is a REALLY boring thing to say, where "hey want to go kayaking?" (or some other interest) is a fun thing to say.
I dont know about all this. Most obscure hobbies and interests can actually backfire. Most girls will find those things "weird" unless they already know you well. What you're describing is more of a "how to keep a long term relationship interesting".
In my experience, at least initially, "interesting" to a lot of women is when a man has a fair degree of power in their life AND they look/act like they could be a good f##k.
What makes a guy interesting, in my opinion: travel experiences; having lived in another part of the country or of the world; exposure to a variety of life experiences and hobbies; a refined taste in music and arts; doing activities outside the mandatory work or school; knowledge of geography, basic history and science, and of current events; a good taste in clothes (doesn't have to be style obsessed, but to know how to dress appropriately, and to have good quality clothes for each occasion- yes); speaking another language; having taken reasonable risk with the purpose of personal growth; demonstrating personal development throughout his lifetime (if you were born, raised and never left your small rural town- that, by my personal standards, is boring as f.....); career ambition; desire to try new foods and activities.
Overall, someone interesting is someone who is always exposing himself to activities to make him a better/more knowledgeable person tomorrow than he was yesterday. Perpetual growth and development is interesting. Stagnation is boring.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marketa
What makes a guy interesting, in my opinion: travel experiences; having lived in another part of the country or of the world; exposure to a variety of life experiences and hobbies; a refined taste in music and arts; doing activities outside the mandatory work or school; knowledge of geography, basic history and science, and of current events; a good taste in clothes (doesn't have to be style obsessed, but to know how to dress appropriately, and to have good quality clothes for each occasion- yes); speaking another language; having taken reasonable risk with the purpose of personal growth; demonstrating personal development throughout his lifetime (if you were born, raised and never left your small rural town- that, by my personal standards, is boring as f.....); career ambition; desire to try new foods and activities.
Overall, someone interesting is someone who is always exposing himself to activities to make him a better/more knowledgeable person tomorrow than he was yesterday. Perpetual growth and development is interesting. Stagnation is boring.
Had me until the second language, and like most Americans, a little iffy on geography
Yes some girls may say that, but if they were to look in the mirror they would see they are equally uninteresting with their hobbies if u could call them that, consisting of pretty much this : shopping, meeting friends for lunch or drinks, beauty, watching tv, using their phone, sunbathing, reading girls magazines/books.
No woman can speak for all women. No man can speak for all men. So I'll tell you why my guy is interesting to me, and why I don't think he's been interesting to other women before me.
He is introverted, older, quiet, somewhat socially awkward. He is slightly hard of hearing, so has difficulty doing conversation in places with lots of background noise (where the social gatherings are.) But I am patient, I noted this and diverted us to quieter places to talk. He liked to listen, and I can talk forever with someone new who hasn't heard all of my stories, so he did not have to do tricks to impress me. We got together a few times. At one point I gave him a rather strong hint that I was down to have sex with him (told him about a dream I'd had) and he did not pick up that ball and run with it. I was puzzled. Told a girlfriend, not sure what he's waiting for...and at this point wondering if he's actually interested.
All of this initial awkwardness would make him not so interesting to other women, I suspect.
I persevered. Found out, one night when he told me, that he is never really certain of a woman's interest and does not do well with hints...so I came right out and told him I wanted him, and we've been a couple since Nov. 2015. It's been great. Things I learned about him along the way that make him interesting to me:
- He has a number of fascinating collections. Art, coins, rare books, movies, games, toys, rpg (like D&D) miniatures, autographs for miles. This is interesting because the things he has chosen to accumulate illustrate the interests he has had and parts of himself.
- He knows how to fly small aircraft.
- He knows how to juggle.
- He is patient. Unlike many men who would get irritable having to stand in line for something fun, he is ok to wait if it's worth it, to get to what is at the end. (I don't like grouchy complainers.)
- He has a high degree of empathy and is very sensitive to what others feel and think. (After marriage to a narcissist this is golden.)
- He can introduce me to nearly endless new music, movies, and shows I've never seen. His knowledge and collections of such media are diverse and vast.
- He's into philosophical Buddhism, Tao, and Tantra.
I think that stuff is fascinating, though I'm perhaps less intrigued by his Broncos fandom, or love of Looney Tunes cartoons, I don't scorn him for such...you take the cool with the meh in a situation like that.
But I never would have known that stuff if I had not had patience with him to relax and show me his layers, if I'd needed to be impressed immediately. He is rather unassuming on the surface.
Interesting is in the eye of the beholder. A guy who invited me to the shooting range would not stand a chance, but plenty of women would enjoy that. I'd rather go to Comic Con or play D&D, or watch Star Trek.
I don't think OP ever came back and explained anything further, did he?
+1.
What's interesting to me, won't be interesting to another. I've always had a thing for introverts who share similar interests and passions, or passions I find intriguing and want to learn more about.
What makes a guy interesting, in my opinion: travel experiences; having lived in another part of the country or of the world; exposure to a variety of life experiences and hobbies; a refined taste in music and arts; doing activities outside the mandatory work or school; knowledge of geography, basic history and science, and of current events; a good taste in clothes (doesn't have to be style obsessed, but to know how to dress appropriately, and to have good quality clothes for each occasion- yes); speaking another language; having taken reasonable risk with the purpose of personal growth; demonstrating personal development throughout his lifetime (if you were born, raised and never left your small rural town- that, by my personal standards, is boring as f.....); career ambition; desire to try new foods and activities.
Overall, someone interesting is someone who is always exposing himself to activities to make him a better/more knowledgeable person tomorrow than he was yesterday. Perpetual growth and development is interesting. Stagnation is boring.
I agree with a lot of this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton
I dont know about all this. Most obscure hobbies and interests can actually backfire. Most girls will find those things "weird" unless they already know you well. What you're describing is more of a "how to keep a long term relationship interesting".
In my experience, at least initially, "interesting" to a lot of women is when a man has a fair degree of power in their life AND they look/act like they could be a good f##k.
Well, then don't look for "most girls" and instead focus on women who share similar interests or would be intrigued by those interests. Is it really that hard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayden87
Yes some girls may say that, but if they were to look in the mirror they would see they are equally uninteresting with their hobbies if u could call them that, consisting of pretty much this : shopping, meeting friends for lunch or drinks, beauty, watching tv, using their phone, sunbathing, reading girls magazines/books.
So don't worry Simon, you are not alone.
Maybe you hang with the wrong type of women? I went on dozens of first dates with men who just didn't do it for me on a variety of levels. Their being uninteresting, to me, was a contributing factor. But deciding they don't tickle my fancy doesn't mean I'm some kind of boring and uninteresting myself. Hardly.
For many, just existing, having a job, a car, a place to live, and being a quasi-Nice Guy, won't cut it. There needs to be layers. Layers are a good thing.
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