Is this too weird? (lovesmountains?) (women, separate, attractive, advice)
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Ask if she wants to study over coffee for finals. Or at the library, this is how my ex made his move. I was star struck when I found out he could do calculus.
The truth is I don't know that we'd be good friends, it's just an intuition, and I'd rather be a friend to someone I'm interested in (on any level) than a stranger to them. Unfortunately, there's not really an etiquette established for asking a girl out on a "friend date"; she assumes you're smitten. Of course, I kind of am. Ugh anyway...
My only real issue now is logistics. We don't sit next to each other anymore, so unless I catch her on the way in or out, or take somebody else's seat (not particularly nice), it's tough. Also, part of me dreads spending more classes with her if another awkward encounter occurs (it's a fairly small class); I really need to get over this stuff and stop being a baby.
You just said you're smitten. You want to be more than friends. This route is 100% going to keep that from ever happening. It's almost a weasel tactic to try to friend with ulterior motives. You should be working from your real angle which is sexual.
You just said you're smitten. You want to be more than friends. This route is 100% going to keep that from ever happening. It's almost a weasel tactic to try to friend with ulterior motives. You should be working from your real angle which is sexual.
Can't getting coffee just be getting coffee? It's not like I'm going to explicitly say "I want to be your friend." or "I want to be your boyfriend."
Definitely need the practice. Today, was going to do it, but here's the thing: she usually comes in and leaves with the same friend... which necessitates me approaching both of them..which makes the situation a little more awkward (I know, toughen up). Not really sure what I can do here except brave things. Only have one more regular class period, probably would be best to do it then rather than final day.
Definitely need the practice. Today, was going to do it, but here's the thing: she usually comes in and leaves with the same friend... which necessitates me approaching both of them..which makes the situation a little more awkward (I know, toughen up). Not really sure what I can do here except brave things. Only have one more regular class period, probably would be best to do it then rather than final day.
Come on man, be like Nike, JUST DO IT!
I want you to come back here tomorrow evening and tell us you managed to approach her okay?
Thought for sure I would today, but nope. I started rationalizing: "she's a beautiful girl who would only say yes if she found me attractive, and why would she find someone with 'fine' features like mine attractive when she could have a more classically attractive guy...she probably already has a boyfriend anyway" etc. Haha, it also didn't help that lecture today included the "matching hypothesis": a proposal that suggests people pretty much always choose to connect with people who are similarly attractive, have maximum commonality socially etc. You would think my being attracted to her would convince me otherwise, but I feel like an aberration. I need to be able to separate the specificity of this situation with the fact that I must stop living in an effing shell. I've got one more shot next week, assuming I finish my exam before she does (very possible). If I can't manage to flipping act this time, I've got to go to therapy; I can't live like this anymore. BUT I will act...every fiber of my body wants to act...it's my stupid mind that's the problem.
You can always just ask her how the class went for her, if she's ready for finals, if she's going to be taking more classes like it, just get some kind of conversation going and go from there.
As far as the friend zone, sometimes that's fine -- and friends can have other friends, the more people you know, the better.
Thought for sure I would today, but nope. I started rationalizing: "she's a beautiful girl who would only say yes if she found me attractive, and why would she find someone with 'fine' features like mine attractive when she could have a more classically attractive guy...she probably already has a boyfriend anyway" etc. Haha, it also didn't help that lecture today included the "matching hypothesis": a proposal that suggests people pretty much always choose to connect with people who are similarly attractive, have maximum commonality socially etc. You would think my being attracted to her would convince me otherwise, but I feel like an aberration. I need to be able to separate the specificity of this situation with the fact that I must stop living in an effing shell. I've got one more shot next week, assuming I finish my exam before she does (very possible). If I can't manage to flipping act this time, I've got to go to therapy; I can't live like this anymore. BUT I will act...every fiber of my body wants to act...it's my stupid mind that's the problem.
Should have asked her to help you test the validity of the hypothesis outlined in the lecture.
uh you're purposely trying to get into the friendzone? Why? What about this hot girl makes you want to be "friends" with her. Is she super cool, do you share the same interests? Or is she just hot and you want to get to know her for being hot?
Why would you want to be one of the 100 other guys orbiting this girl and being her emotional tampon when she cries about the guys she's actually interested in?
I can promise you that if your ulterior motive is to become friends and somehow parlay that into some sort of sexual relationship you are going to fail. Miserably.
Guys just have to figure this stuff out on their own usually. Hell, some guys never figure it out - and that's their fault.
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Can't getting coffee just be getting coffee? It's not like I'm going to explicitly say "I want to be your friend." or "I want to be your boyfriend."
