What not to say: Men contacting women on online dating sites (married, friends)
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Oh, I have definitely dated and slept with guys who had negged me, before I know what it was.
But, like I said, what I felt was sympathy or pity for them. Not anger or defensiveness. I knew what they were saying was untrue, and had no worries about that.
I just thought I was being all altruistic, politely overlooking their disastrous social skills and faux pas. Which they did have in all areas of life. I mean, who else would even try such a technique?
But the difference is, you're saying you knew it was happening and decided to sleep with them anyway, not because the negging "worked" on you, so to speak. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you'd have given those guys a chance if they used a nicer approach as well. If not and I misunderstood you, then disregard
But the difference is, you're saying you knew it was happening and decided to sleep with them anyway, not because the negging "worked" on you, so to speak. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you'd have given those guys a chance if they used a nicer approach as well. If not and I misunderstood you, then disregard
Oh, absolutely. I mean, I didn't know it was something they were doing consciously, deliberately. I thought they were just socially inept. But I dated them despite their ineptitude, not because of it.
I think it's hilarious that guys sell workshops and stuff to other guys, telling them to imitate what is basically autistic behaviour, in order to get girls.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
I think it's hilarious that guys sell workshops and stuff to other guys, telling them to imitate what is basically autistic behaviour, in order to get girls.
A lot of people sell lots of "self help" bunk to lots of segments of the population, and they often swear by it. It's big business as lots of people can't think for themselves or don't trust their own thoughts or instincts.
A guy could be the greatest guy and a great father and have good morals, but you next him because he told you how he didn't do anything over New Years Eve? You could totally be missing out.
But I dunno, I guess people have deep, deep pools to choose from.
Oh, absolutely. I mean, I didn't know it was something they were doing consciously, deliberately. I thought they were just socially inept. But I dated them despite their ineptitude, not because of it.
I think it's hilarious that guys sell workshops and stuff to other guys, telling them to imitate what is basically autistic behaviour, in order to get girls.
Are you comparing this negging as a form of autistic behavior? Please elaborate
Are you comparing this negging as a form of autistic behavior? Please elaborate
You can find some good examples upthread. If you know any autistic people, those are exactly the sorts of things they would say -- not out of any desire to offend or manipulate, but just because they are unaware of social subtleties.
My ex hubby is autistic, which I guess is part of why I felt empathy rather than anger when other guys negged me. I just thought they couldn't help it, same as him.
You can find some good examples upthread. If you know any autistic people, those are exactly the sorts of things they would say -- not out of any desire to offend or manipulate, but just because they are unaware of social subtleties.
My ex hubby is autistic, which I guess is part of why I felt empathy rather than anger when other guys negged me. I just thought they couldn't help it, same as him.
I can't believe I just reread this whole thread over again. The only reference to autism is from you. How do you correlate autism and negging?
It comes across as social ineptitude, cluelessness, etc. that is not intentional.
Ahhhh ok. I appreciate the clarification
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