Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am old. I was in love with my ex hubby for 10 years and another guy for almost that long. When I was younger, my relationships were shorter, but they still lasted multiple years.
I have no idea how to prove that what one person means by love is the same as another's experience. That is a deep philosophical and neurological question, IIUC. But your portrayal of me sounds odd, to say the least.
For me, love usually comes before sex, or else it's just a casual relationship. Why would I have a longterm couple relationship with someone I did not love?
You can call it being "in love" but that doesn't mean that's what it is/was. As timberline said, "in love" is usually rare. You may have a different definition.
I don't mean to offend, but your portrayal of yourself is...different. Have you noticed that other people here have said they don't understand you or think your pov is odd? (In several threads, not just this one.)
Nothing wrong with it, but you appear to be an outlier in many ways. I appreciate your interesting topics but I think if you're more aware of how confusing your ideas can be, youll express yourself better.
But it was usually spontaneous. I can't, off the top of my head, remember ever planning ahead to do something, just the two of us, except working out at the gym.
It was more like I drop by his/her house in the afternoon to visit, because I am in the neighborhood (and because s/he is awesome) and we get to talking, and time passes, and we are hungry, so we walk down to the store and get some food and bring it back and cook it...
And after a while stopping by each other's house becomes a daily thing and then we move in together. Or go backpacking through south america, or whatever. We are in a relationship.
I am trying to comprehend your point of view. So are you simply never asked out on dates? Did you ever date in high school or college? Even in group date situations couples will break off from the group to have alone time. How did you bond with your partner in previous relationships without alone time?
If you're living in the same house together, it's easy enough to create alone time by hanging out in your room with your SO. You can also have alone time if everyone has different work schedules, so sometimes the house is empty except for the couple. Or if you're hanging out at another house with a group, your SO invites you into his/her room. Or as posted earlier, you might break away from the group at dinner time to go check out a restaurant together, on the spur the moment. Is that a date, if there's no formal invitation, no advance arrangement penciled into the calendar? There's a grey area between "date" and "hanging out at the local pizza place".
And to answer your first questions, many of the people in these groups never dated in HS or college. The guys were too shy, the women never got asked, or couldn't get a reaction from the guys they might have been interested in. HS and even college dating are not the universal experiences the media would have us believe they are.
You can call it being "in love" but that doesn't mean that's what it is/was. As timberline said, "in love" is usually rare. You may have a different definition.
I don't mean to offend, but your portrayal of yourself is...different. Have you noticed that other people here have said they don't understand you or think your pov is odd? (In several threads, not just this one.)
Nothing wrong with it, but you appear to be an outlier in many ways. I appreciate your interesting topics but I think if you're more aware of how confusing you're ideas can be you'll express yourself better.
Well yes, but only on this forum .
Not on other relationship forums I have hung out on, or in my RL locale.
That's why I started the thread, to find out if there is anyone else like me in this one particular way, here.
If you're living in the same house together, it's easy enough to create alone time by hanging out in your room with your SO. You can also have alone time if everyone has different work schedules, so sometimes the house is empty except for the couple. Or if you're hanging out at another house with a group, your SO invites you into his/her room.
Yes.
I have never had a relationship with a housemate (though I did come close, once) -- but I did meet my ex hubby when he came by to check out a room that was open in my house!
He just kept coming back to take one more look at the room, and have a nice chat each time, until I caught on .
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,063,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx
Can we arrange a field trip to your place? I want to see where you are coming from.
With the large mixed gender houses it really sounds like it is almost a commune type situation. Generally those things don't happen anymore, even in the more hippy-ish areas of Vermont, the Pacific NW, Hawaii, etc. Maybe for a brief period where people are in their 20s. Saw some of it in the Bay area but is was purely out of economic necessity.
Can we arrange a field trip to your place? I want to see where you are coming from.
Berkeley/Oakland/San Francisco. Santa Cruz & Santa Barbara, CA. University District, Seattle. Portland, Salem and Eugene, Oregon. There were probably communal households/apartments in NYC (especially with those high rents, who could afford their own apt.?)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
