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Do not tell your GF what your mother thinks of her. It will ruin an already tricky relationship.
This...
I made that mistake once with my now ex bf of telling everything what my mother said about him, which wasn't no big deal. I was a virgin then (didn't exactly know what to expect, how to act or what to do) and it was something like ''Watch out, put boundaries'' and guess what?? It permanently ruined the whole relationship he was starting to develop with my mother and later on, our relationship started rotting.
Never again. My mother is one and she can voice her opinions all she wants while bfs come and go. After all blood is thicker than water.
I hate my former virgin self. I honestly acted like a pathetic naivee girl back then. Rule one: never tell to a gf/bf what your parents or family say about them. Nothing good comes out of it.
This...
I made that mistake once with my now ex bf of telling everything what my mother said about him, which wasn't no big deal. I was a virgin then (didn't exactly know what to expect, how to act or what to do) and it was something like ''Watch out, put boundaries'' and guess what?? It permanently ruined the whole relationship he was starting to develop with my mother and later on, our relationship started rotting.
Never again. My mother is one and she can voice her opinions all she wants while bfs come and go. After all blood is thicker than water.
I hate my former virgin self. I honestly acted like a pathetic naivee girl back then. Rule one: never tell to a gf/bf what your parents or family say about them. Nothing good comes out of it.
Believe me I won't, it would destroy her. She loves my mom
Believe me I won't, it would destroy her. She loves my mom
Good... It sucks for me that I can't rewind time; just like her, he also loved my mother at the time and he was totally shocked when telling him everything. It took him about 3 years to get over it; it was the day he said ''I forgive her''. He tried to then get it to the way things were and fix things. Only it was too late by then. I stopped caring and wasn't in love anymore. He lost me. That hurt him even more, the fact that I didn't love him anymore nor saw a future with him at all. I basically told him at the time in anger ''No you're not the one''.
Unfortunately for me, when a man takes too long to fix unresolved issues and then finally decided to wake up, it's way too late. I'm already done at that point and don't even care anymore.
Jonathanp219, I would just let things go naturally without making it obvious about what you overheard and if it's meant to work out then it would.
I've never heard of a gf buying her bf's mother presents. That generally begins after an engagement, unless the gf is invited to a family birthday party.
Your mom doesn't seem very compassionate, or willing to understand people and reach out to them.
I've never heard of a gf buying her bf's mother presents. That generally begins after an engagement, unless the gf is invited to a family birthday party.
Your mom doesn't seem very compassionate, or willing to understand people and reach out to them.
You know what the strange thing is? My mother is one of the most compassionate people I know. I'm not the only person who says this either alot of people from our old neighborhood thought the same. The thing i never liked about my mother is she draws comparisons alot. She use to compare my fathers lack of productivity for the family and say his friends did a better job. She use to tell me when I was younger that I should be more like this kid I went to school with (little did she know he was my bully, and one of the main reasons I grew up messed up). Now she wants to compare my brothers girlfriend to my own girlfriend I guess.
But then again she did say this in secrecy. I'm sure alot of our parent hid their two cents on how they really felt about our significant others.
I'm sure alot of our parent hid their two cents on how they really felt about our significant others.
Not mine. She would gossip about him to her closest friends and others, then say it out loud for me to hear it all (well he was also acting distant and different but can't blame him, I messed things up; I'm 50% to blame for everything that went on) right in my face. She wouldn't care if I don't like her opinion. She makes it very noticeable and every single day, it was always an argument about him. By doing that, all it did was further upset me, tell him everything else she had said about him and wanting to get even more closer to him at the time. I never want to go through that whole drama again and would seriously break-up if it was going to bring too much hassles and arguments in the house. I don't want to deal with drama anymore.
I'm going to be careful of presenting potential bfs (esp if the relationship is already rocky and has issues) from now on and also know what to say and not what to say as well as what not to do.
Not mine. She would gossip about him to her closest friends and others, then say it out loud for me to hear it all (well he was also acting distant and different but can't blame him, I messed things up; I'm 50% to blame for everything that went on) right in my face. She wouldn't care if I don't like her opinion. She makes it very noticeable and every single day, it was always an argument about him. By doing that, all it did was further upset me, tell him everything else she had said about him and wanting to get even more closer to him at the time. I never want to go through that whole drama again and would seriously break-up if it was going to bring too much hassles and arguments in the house. I don't want to deal with drama anymore.
I'm going to be careful of presenting potential bfs (esp if the relationship is already rocky and has issues) from now on and also know what to say and not what to say as well as what not to do.
Wow, how would that make you feel though? Did it ever make you resent your mom?
Wow, how would that make you feel though? Did it ever make you resent your mom?
It didn't made me feel any better at all. Yes, I still have a bit of resentment from time to time but I've pretty much gotten over it and I don't think nor act the same as back then. Well I'm already nearly 27 (I was 19 to very early 20's back then) but yes when that happened, I really thought it would be a never-ending nightmare.
What made it worst and took a bit longer for me to recover from all this is she went kind of verbally crazy on me over the whole ''virginity thing'' and how I should have saved myself that now he finds me easy, that she at least ''waited till marriage'' etc. But the irony is at least I made him wait 5 months while my mother later on (once she was more relaxed) revealed that she only made my father wait 2-3 months. She comes from the time where some girls would have a relationship, lose it and marry their first. Another thing she failed to understand at the time is when it happened, I'm the one who started touching him and then just threw myself on him signaling that I was already ready; that obviously can't be out of pressure if I was the initiator.
On the other hand, I won't marry my ex bf not even if he was the last man on earth. I don't even know when I want to get marry and if I don't even want kids (and never did), then I don't see what's the rush for it anyway. Still, I'm going to be more careful in how I present other potential bfs in the future. I do want to meet other guys but my schedule and this Holiday won't allow me to yet; plus I got exams.
I think I forgot to mention another reason my mom may not like my girlfriend...
My girlfriend never sent condolences when my cousin and my uncle died. Is this a good reason not to like someone??
My girlfriend has never lost anyone so she can't empathize with the feeling of losing a loved one.
I wasn't close to either one of them, and I never met my cousin. She see's how I receive the news and reflects that on how the rest of my family might feel, since she doesn't see them alot.
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