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I grew up with heavy Christian influences. Although I sort of grew apart from some of them over the years, one that always seemed to stick with me was waiting for marriage to have sex. I realized I was in the minority on this, but I still always thought of it as something that a decent amount of people did.
Now that I'm older and have moved around the country a bit, I have realized that basically NOBODY thinks like that. I found a statistic that only between 2-3 percent of people actually wait for marriage to have sex. That's both genders. That means between 1 and 1.5 percent of females actually wait to have sex until marriage.
Think about how hard it is to find a good girl that you like, are attracted to, you are compatible with, AND that likes you, is attracted to you and is compatible with you. It's hard enough in the first place. Then imagine *eliminating* 99 out of every 100 girls from that potential dating pool. You only have one girl left out of every 100 if you are waiting until marriage for sex. Then, you have to work from there and still attempt to find one that you are compatible with, attracted to, etc. It's impossible.
The thing is, now that I've come to this realization and have accepted the fact that I'm just going to have to have sex, I'm way behind the game. I'm 25. And from what I can tell, no girl around my age (or older) wants to date a virgin or have sex with a virgin. That sort of leaves me between a rock and a hard place. Even though I'm now up for having sex, no one wants to have sex with or date a virgin. And I can't become not a virgin unless I go have sex with a girl.
What would be the best bet for me at this point? Get one of my good female friends who is sexually open to have sex with me and show me the ropes?
Just go ahead and try to have sex with the next girl I date? It seems like if I chose that method, either I would have to explain to her ahead of time why I was a virgin, which would immediately scare her off. Or I wouldn't say anything and she would be able to tell immediately when we gave it a try, which would immediately scare her off.
It feels like there's really no good way to go. Makes me wish I would have ditched the Christian morals and just had awkward 15-year-old sex with another virgin back in high school.
First, you need to define what it is you want. Do you really want to have sex, or are you just trying to accommodate the masses here?
Second, if you ARE going to drop your non-sex life decision, you need to stop putting it on a pedestal.
Third, don't lose your virginity with a girl you want to keep dating (IMHO) because that is going to put too much pressure on her. You won't be able to fool her into thinking you're not a virgin, and coming out and telling her you want to lose your virginity is going to create awkward expectations. It would be better to go with a FWB type situation so you can remove the pedestal from the act of doing it.
Go with your friend for now to show you the ropes. Seriously just go have sex. You'll realize it's not a big deal at all. This coming from a fairly religious person...
The thing is, now that I've come to this realization and have accepted the fact that I'm just going to have to have sex,
This reminds me of the thought process I had before I had my second root canal on the same tooth. Weird.
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What would be the best bet for me at this point? Get one of my good female friends who is sexually open to have sex with me and show me the ropes?
Just go ahead and try to have sex with the next girl I date? It seems like if I chose that method, either I would have to explain to her ahead of time why I was a virgin, which would immediately scare her off. Or I wouldn't say anything and she would be able to tell immediately when we gave it a try, which would immediately scare her off.
It feels like there's really no good way to go. Makes me wish I would have ditched the Christian morals and just had awkward 15-year-old sex with another virgin back in high school.
Go to a bar with some friends. Chat up a girl. Buy her a drink. Sleep with her. Easy peasy.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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Seek the help of a professional. Drive on over to Nevada and use the services of a health-certified hooker. You'll be able to tell her you're a virgin and ask questions without shame.
Lol, I just actually read the topic. "What do I do? Just date a girl and have sex?"
Silly Sally you just date a woman (25 is a guarter of a century) and have a relationship. Then let it lead to sexual endeavors. You can go the bad route but std's and among other problems may occur.
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