Engagement issues - help!

[miu]

If the OP and his fiance have been together for over three years, maybe for her, she's gotten really relaxed about the relationship and while she loves him, she doesn't feel those romantic sparks like in the beginning. So having a roommate in her home along with her fiance is no big deal to her. She's not interested in being able to have spontaneous intimate moments with her man 24/7 anymore.

And in helping out her sister, she's trying help out her family and keep her mother in a better mood. I know that my parents appreciate that I have my niece with me and that she didn't have to return to their house in CA (saving on airfare and curbing family drama). And I do it mostly for those brownie points.

[kitkatbar]

Originally Posted by metamorphosis

Some people go to work and work overtime, because they don't want to go home. They no longer like their home life. Yet they won't face it or admit it.

Maybe Fiancé doesnt really want to get married, so she moved Sister in. She doesn't want to face it, admit it, or tell him and be "the bad guy".

Sometimes folks do things and don't understand why themselves.

Good point. And another question it raises, is that maybe some of the issues Sister keeps pushing the OP on are things the Fiance is bothered by too, but doesn't want to be the "bad guy" in bringing up. A lot easier to let Sister do it. It may also be that even if part of her does want to get married, she also fears losing that family connection that (right or wrong) was how she was raised. It could be her subconscious way of keeping them close and having an "excuse" for doing so as well.

[Leisesturm]

Originally Posted by Eagle4Life

Uh no. Way too many assumptions being made. Family had no part in buying this home. It is hers and hers only. Not inherited. I do not squat, I pay my fair share. Sister pays almost zero and parents do not help pay for it.

I didn't even realize this thread was still alive... what do you mean 'assumptions'? You leave important details of your situation out and then talk about 'assumptions'. Your fair share... I suppose you arrive at that assumption by figuring that each of you are in for 1/3... actually, your fair share of the mortgage is zero. Its not your house (nor is it ever likely to be) and the equity that results in your cash contribution being applied to the principal of the mortgage will never be collected... by you. Been there, done that. I've helped two women pay their mortgages with nothing to show for it. Not even fond memories. Doesn't sound like you're having a lot of fun either. I mean... ... you know what I mean. Unless sis is deaf, there just isn't much boom boom going on at home. Or am I assuming too much.

My father would already have paid bad men to beat you very close to death for not marrying his daughter already. Personally I think you have good reasons to hesitate. But hesitate on your own time, in your own space. It sends the wrong message all around the way you are doing it. FWIW.

H