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I met this woman on an online dating website. We were hitting it off really well since about a week ago. We met in person last weekend to watch a movie together. I had a great time and really enjoyed hanging out with her. I felt comfortable with her and felt a connection between us. So things were going really well until she finally told me last night that she has 2 STD's: HSV-1 and HPV. I'm clean and afraid of the possibility of being contracted with either of these STD's if we end up going further with things. I'm also, as bad as it sounds, sort of grossed out by it and don't know how to handle this. I was reading up on these diseases and I just can't get a clear answer from the Internet about what the chances are of contracting either of these diseases? It's just all over the map basically. I have a feeling that maybe I'm being too judgemental and cruel about this and then another side of me is saying to not take this any further. I don't know what to do...
I've been in this position before, and it sucks. Sucks even worse for her, because she's actually being honest about it, unlike many others who either don't know or aren't up front about it.
I don't know what your long term intentions were with this woman (casual dating, ONS, LTR, etc), but if things progressed to the point where you were having sex regularly, you're obviously at a very high risk. I'll take the cop-out answer and say "we'll need more info".
Unfortunately, unless you could accept living with those potential STD's, you'll have to break it off. It's a terrible situation to be in, for both of you.
I've been in this position before, and it sucks. Sucks even worse for her, because she's actually being honest about it, unlike many others who either don't know or aren't up front about it.
I don't know what your long term intentions were with this woman (casual dating, ONS, LTR, etc), but if things progressed to the point where you were having sex regularly, you're obviously at a very high risk. I'll take the cop-out answer and say "we'll need more info".
Unfortunately, unless you could accept living with those potential STD's, you'll have to break it off. It's a terrible situation to be in, for both of you.
I am thankful that she was honest about it and I'm glad she brought it up. I was intending on being in a LTR with her basically. I can't accept the idea that I could potentially get either of these STD's myself but ... how high of a risk is it really if I'm having sex regularly? 5% each year? 10%? Maybe there's just no way to put a percentage on it?
The majority of the population already has HSV 1 and/or HPV, and if you are older than 30, you probably do to. It wouldn't hurt to test yourself before you jump to any conclusions though.
The majority of the population already has HSV 1 and/or HPV, and if you are older than 30, you probably do to. It wouldn't hurt to test yourself before you jump to any conclusions though.
I got tested a year and a half ago and I was clean (and I haven't had sex with anyone else since then).
What strain of HPV does she have? There are a number of different strains and not all produce warts so you really don't know if you carry the virus or not just because you don't have warts.
There isn't a test for HPV for men, as far as I know. You can be tested for STD's and get a "clean" bill of health, even if you have HPV in your system.
I got tested a year and a half ago and I was clean (and I haven't had sex with anyone else since then).
Talk to a doctor about it is the best thing I can say, but if you want to stay clean obviously you'd just need to abstain until you know your partner is clean.
That really stinks but its really cool that she told you upfront... I mean thats AWESOME she told you!!
I think I would take this case to a doctor and discuss options, No one here can give you that advice except a doctor. If youre serious you both will go see a doctor together...
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