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Hi, I'm new to the site and I'm hoping that I'm posting this in the correct forum. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. We live together and he helps take care of my seven year old. We work at the same place but on different shifts. I've been really busy with going to school and working full time. It's very stressful.
I didn't want to tell him he couldn't be friends with her because he doesn't have any friends. He had told her that they could be friends but not talk as much. So, they stopped texting and only talked during work but apparently enough for people to ask questions, saying that rumors were going around. So, I made a comment that made it sound like I had talked with her. He then called me and told me he wanted me to know that while we were having a rough time and during my birthday before I found out about her, he told her that he had "slight feelings for her but didn't want anything from her". During my birthday, he took off for it and I decided to pick up a 4 hour shift, 7-11am, that way he could sleep. He got mad about that but I thought I was helping him with sleep?
I then got upset later on because he was on his phone the whole night and i walked out while he was making a special dinner for me. He said he was upset and sobbing outside and he doesn't understand why he had said it. My questions, why say it? What was the intention? What would've happened if she felt the same way? Does he have feelings or was he just upset with me? It's not okay to say something like that just because he's upset with me. Does this mean it could happen again? This was after 4-5 days of them talking on the phone outside of work! I feel completely embarrassed!
Once the rumors started, he told her that they needed to keep their distance. I felt as I still didn't know everything, so in the last few weeks, I started talking to her. He now doesn't talk to her that much at all. Why? She told me that he does love me and she doesn't know why he would think grass is greener on the other side (not sure what she meant by that?). She also said that she feels that he mentioned having feelings for her because he was in a bad state. So, him and I decided to stay together but he pretends that everything is fine.
What happened to the whole "I can't offer you a future break up"? I have so many unanswered questions and he gets annoyed when I ask him. So, he recently texted her asking her to come in 15 mins early because he needed her to help bin since they were going to be short on the bin team. She didn't even know how to bin. He taught her how to do it. Now, she's a part of the bin team every night and if they don't get done all their work, he has to help them finish it. So, I'm supposed to be okay with all of this? Out of all the associates on night shift, he pulled her to teach her and now she's going to be working side by side with him? I told him that I needed some space and he's shown known emotion. Its almost as if he doesn't care. I don't know what to do. I can't seem to ease my mind.
Last edited by xX_BlueStars_Xx; 01-21-2014 at 06:57 PM..
Edit your post and put in some paragraphs so it will be easier to read.
Sounds like a mess. I'd ask him out on a date, (I know your schedule is busy), and get all this out in the open. You may need to prepare yourself for a tough decision. Sorry.
Edit your post and put in some paragraphs so it will be easier to read.
Sounds like a mess. I'd ask him out on a date, (I know your schedule is busy), and get all this out in the open. You may need to prepare yourself for a tough decision. Sorry.
Sorry, I fixed it. We live together, so I haven't been able to have the space to clear my mind and think about things. I told him that I needed space and he's still treating me as if we're completely fine. I don't know what to do. I'm so hurt =/.
Last month, I had started to question him being faithful to me. We weren't doing good and he told me that he wanted to split up. He said that he couldn't offer me the future that i wanted (marriage, children, etc).
You already know the answer. He's told you. Listen to him. Honestly, if a woman is seeking marriage and children I don't understand why they are willing to put 4 YEARS into a man. Cut your losses and move on.
Sounds like it's over to me. I'm not sure why he's still hanging around. I guess something "better" hasn't come along yet. I imagine that if this girl responded positively to his comments, he'd be out the door.
This is not the type of relationship you are wanting either. Why do you still stay?
Such a precarious situation to be in with so much uncertainty looming over your relationship. I suggest, sitting him down and having a serious heart to heart talk with him, so you guys can figure out your relationship.
Time is the most precious gift we have, don't waste another min with someone who doesn't see a future with you.
I should've mentioned this before but I had messed up with another guy and he has stuck by my side through it. He said he hasn't gotten over it and has trust issues. It's been a year and a half since my incident. He wanted to marry me before that happened and since then, he just doesn't know. Since we fight a lot, he feels that we're not ready but he also says that we're pretty much married since we live together and that it's just a sheet of paper.
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