I am extremely worried about my friend.

[Ted Bear]

It doesn't have to end in disaster, or tragedy.

A clever spouse can let her unloved spouse down gently. She can also manage her life in such a way that she moves on without creating drama. It doesn't have to be like some cheap TV or reality show.

Life is short. If one is in an unhappy relationship, it is time to move on. Bad, is bad, and it doesn't get any better, regardless of how much people try to pretend that things are 'different'.

Stand back. Let your INTELLIGENT friend work thorough it, and wish him the very best. The joy of experiencing a loving relationship is without comparison. Perhaps this is the chance of a lifetime for these two people.

[kat949]

He's heads-over-heels at this point, all about his heart, so anything he hears probably won't register when infatuation can so irrational.

Approaching him may not bode too well for you, but as a friend, you can always say you're watching out for his back and see how this relationship can be problematic in the long-run for him.

Talking some sense into him can make him think a little, especially if he has anxiety issues.

You can mention the fact that if she valued him more than a friend or if she wanted a future with him, she would leave her husband first. This is all too convenient for her, and he possibly could be a rebound.

Tough situation to be in. I don't know all the details, but basically word it in a way that he needs to SET BOUNDARIES with her.

But, the whole thing is so shady. She needs time alone. And, he needs not to play a role in the home-wrecking, because essentially, that's what he's doing.

[aoibhd84]

Thanks for all the replies. I'll support him whatever happens. It's all I can do. He just told me that he is going away with her for a weekend in Prague. All expenses paid by him of course. The husband thinks she's going with a female friend. He seems fine with that.

[Book Lover 21]

I'm glad my husband didn't come here for advise 18 yrs ago. That's when he and I fell in love, even though I was married.

Not every situation like this ends badly.

Sure, it was difficult and messy and heartbreaking, but well worth it.

[beera]

Originally Posted by aoibhd84

He did ask her if she would leave the marriage and be with him because he would make her happy. Her reply was that she felt that my friend was pressurising her and rushing her.
She is also playing mind games. One minute she dosen't love her husband the next minute she does.

HA! That's what the woman my friend was seeing said too. Eventually she decided to "work on her marriage" for her son's sake. Which is fine, but maybe she should have thought about that before having an affair.

Originally Posted by Book Lover 21

I'm glad my husband didn't come here for advise 18 yrs ago. That's when he and I fell in love, even though I was married.

Not every situation like this ends badly.

Sure, it was difficult and messy and heartbreaking, but well worth it.

Your the exception, not the rule, most people have their flings then return to their spouses. Usually it ends when the spouse finds out about the infidelity, if it does end even after the spouse finding out. My dad is with the last woman he cheated on my mom with because it became the last straw and my mom kicked him out. I guarantee if she didn't divorce him they'd still be married because my dad would NEVER initiate a divorce.

[Molli]

Tell him to start wearing a tie to work so he can remember which head he is supposed to be thinking with .


Also tell him he's a fool if he thinks this woman is willing to cheat on her husband but won't ever cheat on him.