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So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. He really is a great guy all around. Pretty early on he told me he was looking for a relationship that could develop into something even longer. He didn't actually use the word "marriage" but I knew that's what he meant. I was completely on the same page with him.
So about two weeks ago I got some information from what I thought was a good friend and confronted my boyfriend with it. He flat out denied it. I didn't believe him and completely over reacted. Basically I told him we should take a break and think things through. He didn't want to but I was so angry and insisted so we did.
A few days later I went out with my best friend and we met up with some other girlfriends at a bar restaurant that we sometimes go to. At some point some guys joined our group and I started chatting with one of them. At around midnight everybody sort of left and it was only me and this guy. We talked alot. We drank some more and I went home with him and stayed the night.
He texted me on Monday and we got together one more time. When I called him on Tuesday, the guy was weird and stuff on the phone. And that was it. Also, and this is the huge one, on Tuesday night, I found out that what I accused my boyfriend of was completely false and that the person who told me had an agenda. Just a miserable *itch.
So I called up my boyfriend and told him I wanted to talk. We got together yesterday and I apologized for losing it and told him that I completely over reacted and felt like an idiot. He was not particularly chatty but said that I should trust and believe him when he says things. I did not say anything about the guy I got together with. I feel really ****ty about that. I want my boyfriend to be my everything so I don't want to lie or decieve or anything like that but I don't know if I should say anything.
Should I keep quiet about it or if not, what would be the best way to be honest?
Tough lesson to learn the hard way. But if you and your boyfriend have been exclusive sexually he has EVERY right to know that you just had sex with another man so that he can make a decision about what he wants to do with that information healthwise and relationshipwise.
Of course he deserves to know, you messed up on falsely accusing him, then you really fawked up with some random dude at a bar. If this happened to me (and I was your bf) I would drop your ass in a hot second. You'd be lucky if he accepts you back, not only that but you are on CD asking if you should lie to your bf or not for fawking up, that's pretty self-centered and crass.
You're a fool if you tell him. We've debated this issue on several threads in the past few months. Your partner is not your confessor. I'm too tired tonight to break it down for you. Maybe someone else will chime in.
Of course he deserves to know, you messed up on falsely accusing him, then you really fawked up with some random dude at a bar. If this happened to me (and I was your bf) I would drop your ass in a hot second. You'd be lucky if you accepts you back, not only that but you are on CD asking if you should lie to your bf or not for fawking up, that's pretty self-centered and crass.
We don't always agree on this board, but I'm 100% with you on this one.
Oh, I think the consensus decision on this site is to not tell your BF that you nailed another guy since you guys took a "break".
And I think that the majority of the guys here would probably say that if they heard there GF say that she slept with another guy before coming back, they'd break up with you because it wasn't actually a break up.
You don't really trust this guy at all if you take another person's word over his when it comes to his own actions.
I was very "safe" with the other guy so I'm pretty sure that STIs are not an issue.
Also, my boyfriend and I were on a "break" so I think we were both free to do whatever we wanted. I mean he very probably did not go chasing girls, but I don't know that for sure.
I think I acted the way I did because I was very angry at him and maybe a part of me did it to show that I can do it too, if that makes sense.
I was very "safe" with the other guy so I'm pretty sure that STIs are not an issue.
Also, my boyfriend and I were on a "break" so I think we were both free to do whatever we wanted. I mean he very probably did not go chasing girls, but I don't know that for sure.
I think I acted the way I did because I was very angry at him and maybe a part of me did it to show that I can do it too, if that makes sense.
Something you perpetrated based on false allegations, something you clearly state he denied (truthfully so) and did not want to take a break.
You are something else, get over yourself and grow up.
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