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If in the course of a marriage, an event, or series of events occur to cause you to first question your SO's judgement, and then loose respect for their ability to use sound, and proper judgement, would you be able to remain with them? (Also the lack of sound judgement or reason could potentially affect the well being of your spouse, and/or your child's health.)
No.
This exact thing happened to me and not only could I never feel able to relax, I felt like I was taking care of a child instead of having a partner.
Despite the fact that she was a hottie, I couldn't stand to think of having sex with her.
Finally, I just left.
You can't respect someone and they eventually make you sick.
Ooooh man, that's tough. I'd probably wait this out. She sounds depressed. Maybe she'll come out of it once she realizes that stuff isn't working either.
I hope she does snap out of it. Her medical stuff is a challenge for her and I know it has been kind of depressing her. I just wish that if she was motivated to really attack it, she would get back to doing what works and not look for some far out miracle. Not that I can force her to do so (clearly, as my nudging already has me labelled as a bully about it).
This exact thing happened to me and not only could I never feel able to relax, I felt like I was taking care of a child instead of having a partner.
Despite the fact that she was a hottie, I couldn't stand to think of having sex with her.
Finally, I just left.
You can't respect someone and they eventually make you sick.
Yes I see where you are coming from. I feel I cannot "trust" her with decisions right now because I have no respect for her judgement. That makes me feel like I have to keep watch to make sure nothing detrimental is really done. Especially with respect to our daughter. It is tiring.
Op, your situation is different than mine was.
It seems to be centered around one thing, whereas my ex would consistently make childish and stupid decisions about a lot of things. It was like she had no concept of consequences and was constantly flakey.
Your wife is frustrated and angry and is turning to whatever it takes to help her. That is not unusual with chronic disease.
She is right about the wheat, btw.
Thanks Stan. I just hope she snaps out of it. She is on a roller coaster!
Yes, I know the changes to wheat have been detrimental. Not sure I buy into the conspiracy theory of it however.... not to the extent that she is rejecting sound advice due to a paranoia over a conspiracy.
Yes, as a physician, I can tell you there is no grand conspiracy to "keep people sick." In fact, my colleagues and I are always trying to discuss lifestyle modification and natural ways to stay healthy (things people can do themselves with food an exercise and changes in habit), but people usually roll their eyes and don't listen (it's harder work than popping a pill). After a while, a lot of people give up trying to tell people over and over again.
Buying into conspiracy theories or suddenly becoming religious or something like that would definitely make me less respectful of my spouse's decisions, as I would think their judgment is being compromised under duress. People rarely make good decisions under stressful circumstances.
For a timeframe, a couple years into the marriage.
No, I said potentially health related. Trying to self diagnose chronic problems and find "out of the main stream" treatments which do not have any medical or scientific basis. Example: Wanting to put urine rops in a child's eye to "cure" pink eye instead of going to a doctor. Or cure their own chronic health issues with similar, types of self found and administered "treatments."
Putting tons of time and effort into "researching" these kinds of treatments, which amounts to finding blogs and such that support what they want to find to justify it. Justifying the need to do it by building up a wall of paranoia about the medical field, accusing them of "hiding" the real cures for things in their desire for a money grab which is only possible by keeping the sick, sick.
THe person you are describing is not mentally well. He needs help. I don't think you need to question your level of respect for his judgement. You need to decide if you are going to be able to help him get the help he needs (I suspect not, since his paranoia is against the medical community).
Please see a marriage counselor, with or without him. You may not be able to help him, but have to focus on protecting yourself and your child.
I am compassionate towards her and the lifestyle changes she really needs to be healthier. I followed her diet back then with her, and lost more weight than I wanted. I had to start cheating (with her blessing, but not in front of her so she really didn't get tempted) to prevent further loss as I was not overweight to begin with. It is very tough on her.
She tends to run on emotion a little more to begin with. Where as I tend to be very analytical by nature. However, this is an extreme. You hit thenail on the head too, as she is now under stress and not making good decisions.
She is definately interested in finding a magic pill right now, instead of putting in some hard work. I have been supportive whether she wants to put in the work or not. I can be supportive of her if she feels she just cannot do the diet stuff either. What I find myself unable to support is making bad decisions and finding anything to justify them.
I would try to get your wife into therapy. My mother had grave's disease and mental problems like your wife when I was growing up. She was so worried about everything, all the time. She honestly felt that if she didn't worry about something that it would come true.
My mother got through it with counseling and the right medication. We had a few years of a terrible time, and we came out of it happier than ever. I am sure my father thought about leaving, but once the mental issues were gone they became very happy.
Meyer makes a good point.
Seeing a different endocrinologist might be a good idea.
My friend's mother's thyroid tests always came back in the normal range while she was on meds, but she was freakin' crazy as hell...turned out the "normal" as set by standard deviation/population was not the right normal for this woman. Once they got her tuned up properly (higher than expected dose), she was a much happier, sensible person.
She was abusive and angry for YEARS before they figured this out.
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