My Conclusions About PUA (date, romantic, friendship, versus)
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I've joked on here more than once that I should go into business teaching women how to spot and avoid scam artists (because that is essentially what self-proclaimed PUAs are). Could probably make a million bucks off it, but I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. Just not into commercial exploitation of the damaged. People who feel they need PUA techniques, and the women who end up with self-proclaimed PUAs, would really be better off in counseling.
I hope you understood what I meant in my response. I agreed completely but was also trying to be funny. Guess my little joke was stillborn huh?
I think the bolded part is maybe the problem. How do never leave a woman worse off than when you met her? If your goal is a one night stand - even if the woman has a great night, if she is expecting more - she is going to be worse off. If the woman genuinely believes that a guy is interested in her but he is really only interested in getting laid - she is going to be worse off. If a woman thinks that she is getting to know someone but he isn't really being himself - she is going to be worse off. I'm not saying that the goal of PUA is to leave a woman worse off necessarily - but I think maybe sometimes the goals of PUA are simply incompatible with the goals of the women that they target.
Comes back to the sociopathy: The PUA's goals center around himself, and himself only. They are about what he wants, then and there, regardless of how he has to get it or whom he misleads or hurts in the process.
I think the bolded part is maybe the problem. How do never leave a woman worse off than when you met her? If your goal is a one night stand - even if the woman has a great night, if she is expecting more - she is going to be worse off. If the woman genuinely believes that a guy is interested in her but he is really only interested in getting laid - she is going to be worse off. If a woman thinks that she is getting to know someone but he isn't really being himself - she is going to be worse off. I'm not saying that the goal of PUA is to leave a woman worse off necessarily - but I think maybe sometimes the goals of PUA are simply incompatible with the goals of the women that they target.
What they mean to say is that most relationships don't work out. They say to show women a great time, if it doesn't work out you don't want her to come out bitter and unhappy with you. She should remember it as a great time, even if it doesn't end in marriage.
Let's face it, unless you marry your high school sweetheart.. most relationships aren't going to end in marriage and I think it's safe to assume that many people today.. guys and girls are not looking for marriage.
Comes back to the sociopathy: The PUA's goals center around himself, and himself only. They are about what he wants, then and there, regardless of how he has to get it or whom he misleads or hurts in the process.
What they mean to say is that most relationships don't work out. They say to show women a great time, if it doesn't work out you don't want her to come out bitter and unhappy with you. She should remember it as a great time, even if it doesn't end in marriage.
Let's face it, unless you marry your high school sweetheart.. most relationships aren't going to end in marriage and I think it's safe to assume that many people today.. guys and girls are not looking for marriage.
But are they talking about relationships or one night? And just so you know - I have no agenda. That phrase just struck me as problematic. If you are looking just to get laid and she wants something more - she's going to be unhappy with you. If it's a relationship - it seems a bit farfetched to have a nice break up as the end goal. Perhaps what they are really after is being respectful? But if that's the case and the original point of PUA was to be respectful to women - doesn't it seem like it hasn't succeeded? At least not in most people's view of PUA.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
But are they talking about relationships or one night?
You know a lot of relationships start as one night stand attempts, right? I could go on and on with anecdotal (which doesn't help much) examples, but for one, a friend and former co worker is now married 5 years with a 3 year old daughter to someone she brought home from a bar. They're a great couple.
The attempt or presumed ONS happens for a reason: there was an initial attraction.
PUA is about getting a girl to sleep with you. It does not teach you much if anything about relationships. Just so you know, most guys care about getting laid...not the relationship stuff.
You know a lot of relationships start as one night stand attempts, right? I could go on and on with anecdotal (which doesn't help much) examples, but for one, a friend and former co worker is now married 5 years with a 3 year old daughter to someone she brought home from a bar. They're a great couple.
The attempt or presumed ONS happens for a reason: there was an initial attraction.
I don't think a lot of relationships start as one night stand attempts. I think a lot of relationships might start where they meet and have sex right away. If your goal is a one night stand - that would imply that your only goal is sex. I think it's possible to meet someone and have intense chemistry on both sides - and to move really fast. I don't really know that it's likely that if your goal is to go out and get laid - that it will amount to anything more. I'm not sure that I'm being clear - but my point is about intending to get laid with anyone versus finding someone and then wanting to sleep with them.
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