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Grad students are notorious for being broke, and are generally not expected to have money. Also, the fact that they are grad students generally affords them the benefit of an expectation that before long, they will stop being broke and will have meaningful money.
Sounds like our government
Trying to turn prestige and a bit of impression management into a bigger line of credit
I firmly believe that at the root of every sad sack poster's problem is the fact that they cannot tell the truth to themselves or others. Get to the bottom of the lies and you get to the actual issues that need attention.
But such an impassioned foray into the naked truth could be devastating. If lack of money, lack of establishment in the community, lack of physical attractiveness are dismissed as being at most peripheral detriments, well, what happens when the root cause turns out to be a noxious and vile character? Good manners and clever conversation can be learned and honed with practice. But what is the remedy for a misanthropic, manipulative person, who regards all others as inferiors? Surely it is better to hide such root-cause from oneself, instead leaning on crutches has as parlous material resources, being too short, living in a conservative town, being too shy and so forth?
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Originally Posted by s1alker
I have worked a dead end 9 an hr retail job for 15 years. I work with a bunch of broke, drug addicted alcholics and they have no trouble scoring women.
This is true. It's more important to be personable, to have common interests and values, to exude emotional appeal, and to simply be present in an environment where there are other single people - people who are receptive to forming a new relationship. A comparatively poor person living amongst the affluent would indeed be at a dating disadvantage, because such a person would be unable to uphold societal norms. For precisely the same reason, an upper-middle-class affluent professional living in a working-class community would labor under a dearth of dating prospects. Though appealing in a narrowly material sense, his values and sentiments would clash with the prevailing view, resulting in antagonism and strife.
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Originally Posted by monumentus
Probably by realising that entering into a relationship with another person is not a financial issue - bit am emotional one.
It becomes a financial issue as soon as marriage is considered.
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Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
Rich people should date each other so they won't have to worry about losing anything if the relationship goes south.
Mostly, they do. This is one reason for declining upward-mobility in modern American society. But even amongst the rich, there are attractive and unattractive, outgoing and reticent, optimistic and dour, emotionally appealing and antagonistic. What happens to the rich heiress with homely looks and abrasive personality? Who would marry her? What about the rich guy who's an arrogant jerk? Or the rich guy who's parsimonious and reclusive? Such people presumably enter asymmetric marriages, where their wealth offsets their various negative qualities, marrying people without wealth, but who are willing to accede to their new partner's defects. It is such asymmetric marriages, and not the marriages of wealthy equals, that make for divorce horror-stories.
...what is the remedy for a misanthropic, manipulative person, who regards all others as inferiors? Surely it is better to hide such root-cause from oneself, instead leaning on crutches has as parlous material resources, being too short, living in a conservative town, being too shy and so forth?
Well, in theory, this person would then look even deeper, discover the roots of their misanthropy, manipulations, and narcissism, and address those -- becoming then a well-adjusted and datable person.
The difficulty is that they may not feel like doing that. If you hate humans and look down on them, why would you want to become somebody they like?
Probably the main reason why I have never been in a relationship is due to the fact that I'm always broke. How do other people who have little or no money go out and date and even get married?
I never had two nickels to rub together before I got married. Yet, I managed. Contrary to the misogynists on the board, most women don't give a fig about how much is in your bank account. Be a guy who rocks their world and they'll find you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant
Mostly, they do. This is one reason for declining upward-mobility in modern American society. But even amongst the rich, there are attractive and unattractive, outgoing and reticent, optimistic and dour, emotionally appealing and antagonistic. What happens to the rich heiress with homely looks and abrasive personality? Who would marry her? What about the rich guy who's an arrogant jerk? Or the rich guy who's parsimonious and reclusive? Such people presumably enter asymmetric marriages, where their wealth offsets their various negative qualities, marrying people without wealth, but who are willing to accede to their new partner's defects. It is such asymmetric marriages, and not the marriages of wealthy equals, that make for divorce horror-stories.
There was a nice piece on the reasons for some of the widening economic gap in the U.S. I read a few years back. I'll see if I can dig it up. It effectively stated that a large percentage of the reason for the growing disparity is that now women are getting educated and becoming professionals. When these professional earning women marry they overwhelmingly marry other professional men which doubles their already high earnings... while on the other end, the lower economic status women aren't marrying at all (when they do it is other low earners).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
I never had two nickels to rub together before I got married. Yet, I managed. Contrary to the misogynists on the board, most women don't give a fig about how much is in your bank account. Be a guy who rocks their world and they'll find you.
I think this might be true for people that marry young, pre 25 or so. But when you're dating professional women that have good careers they generally don't want to date people that earn nothing. There are some exceptions, but if you can't support yourself well, or engage in activities with them (travel, going to shows, etc) then it becomes a huge barrier.
There was a nice piece on the reasons for some of the widening economic gap in the U.S. I read a few years back. I'll see if I can dig it up. It effectively stated that a large percentage of the reason for the growing disparity is that now women are getting educated and becoming professionals. When these professional earning women marry they overwhelmingly marry other professional men which doubles their already high earnings... while on the other end, the lower economic status women aren't marrying at all (when they do it is other low earners).
Furthermore, professionals tend to get married later in life and have less children. Those fewer children can have enormous resources dedicated to making them 'succeed'. Even higher education is very affordable for mid career professionals with one or two kids and a paid off house.
I think this might be true for people that marry young, pre 25 or so. But when you're dating professional women that have good careers they generally don't want to date people that earn nothing. There are some exceptions, but if you can't support yourself well, or engage in activities with them (travel, going to shows, etc) then it becomes a huge barrier.
Well if you are over 25, earn nothing and cant support yourself there is probably a good reason for that and you shouldn't be trying to date career oriented professionals.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
Well if you are over 25, earn nothing and cant support yourself there is probably a good reason for that and you shouldn't be trying to date career oriented professionals.
I do not disagree at all. With minor exceptions, such as you're in graduate school.
I can't find the article I'm thinking of right now... I thought it was by Glaeser at HKS, but it might have been another economist.
How do people of little money or no money get into relationships? I would assume the same way that everyone else does. Their dates just might be a little more creative since there isn't a lot of money to do, well...things that require money.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 04-16-2014 at 09:34 AM..
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