ideas for revenge (cheats, seeking, feelings, different)
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My knee-jerk reaction is to forward the husband any emails you have as evidence. But that would be kind of cruel to do to him. Then again, if your SO is willing to cheat on you now, who knows how many times he has already done so? And then this woman may go home and bring her husband an STD. Not that her husband's health is your responsibility. Just saying.
Which reminds me, you should get checked, yourself.
In the meantime, collect any evidence you need and just dump your SO. When people in your social circle ask why you split up, you can tell them. If they say, "Noooo! Really? I didn't figure him for the type," you can say, "Oh, yes. I can even prove it."
And of course they're going to want to see your proof.
And of course they'll tell two friends.
And they'll tell two friends.
And so on, and so on, and so on.
Meanwhile, you go off and live well, because that is the best revenge of all.
Wait a minute...a few days ago you were saying how he's so great at going along with plans you make and you didn't see all the negative things that everyone here sees and you were saying that you were NOT going to break up with him.
Now you make this thread AND you're still not breaking up with him?? How old are you that you feel you need to take revenge? Is this the only bf you've ever had? Dump him, stop all contact with him and just move on.
You do realize you are going to turn his life upside down, all in the name of trying to hurt her.
Speaks volumes to your character...that's pretty selfish.
I agree. It's pretty lame that so many people can't see how so very selfish these acts are. It will turn someone else's life upside down and for what? So that the op' temporarily feels better? That's just so sad. Best revenge-move on and find someone much better. It's not hard to find someone better than a dishonest, nasty individual.
Some people are just so narcissistic that they can't see how their own actions can hurt others. It's simply amazing that someone would ask help for revenge and think that that shows character.
Wait a minute...a few days ago you were saying how he's so great at going along with plans you make and you didn't see all the negative things that everyone here sees and you were saying that you were NOT going to break up with him.
Now you make this thread AND you're still not breaking up with him?? How old are you that you feel you need to take revenge? Is this the only bf you've ever had? Dump him, stop all contact with him and just move on.
Sadly our OP is closer to 40 than the 20 year old she comes across as
I do not think she is a "bad" person, just a really sad one.
And her sadness (depression) is bringing out her OCD, anxiety, desperation not to be alone - basically all her worst attributes.
I know people have suggested therapy for her in the past and I do hope she will consider it, if she hasn't already.
She is caught up in some unhealthy patterns that she can't see from her current vantage point.
It's time for her to climb to the highest point in her landscape and look down to see the complicated pattern so she can find her way past it.
She only wants what so many of us want - someone to love her and make her their priority.
What she hasn't understood before now is, she must first love herself enough to get to the bottom of her issues and deal honestly with them.
Sadly our OP is closer to 40 than the 20 year old she comes across as
I do not think she is a "bad" person, just a really sad one.
And her sadness (depression) is bringing out her OCD, anxiety, desperation not to be alone - basically all her worst attributes.
I know people have suggested therapy for her in the past and I do hope she will consider it, if she hasn't already.
She is caught up in some unhealthy patterns that she can't see from her current vantage point.
It's time for her to climb to the highest point in her landscape and look down to see the complicated pattern so she can find her way past it.
She only wants what so many of us want - someone to love her and make her their priority.
What she hasn't understood before now is, she must first love herself enough to get to the bottom of her issues and deal honestly with them.
I sincerely hope she'll do this.
Exactly LM. I hope she works on that, too. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected and I just don't see this guy giving her any of that and now she discovered that he's been cheating (to me it makes no difference whether the other woman is married or not--he is the one who she needs to deal with, not the other woman).
Almost everyone has said the revenge isn't worth it, so I won't repeat what other people said.
Here's how I look at it: you mentioned that the woman gets to do whatever with your boyfriend and walk away. He gets to cheat, but everyone is telling you to take the high road. Of course that doesn't seem satisfying at first but they are right. You can take the high road because you are BETTER than them.
They are not worth the effort it takes to plan or carry out revenge. They have both proven that they are lowlifes and ingrates. Why waste your time even agonizing over such pathetic people?? They're cheaters. Why even get involved in their lives? You don't know that the husband doesn't already know what the wife is doing, but he tolerates it or chooses to believe it's not happening (like others have mentioned here). You don't even know the guy.
Cut your losses and move on because that's all these people deserve. You could think about anything else in life...you could sit around and think about plants all day and that would be a better way to spend your time than thinking about those people.
That's the attitude that worked for me during my bad break-ups when I liked to think about revenge (never actually taking it, just liking the idea) and then I realized just how toxic those thoughts are.
Almost everyone has said the revenge isn't worth it, so I won't repeat what other people said.
Here's how I look at it: you mentioned that the woman gets to do whatever with your boyfriend and walk away. He gets to cheat, but everyone is telling you to take the high road. Of course that doesn't seem satisfying at first but they are right. You can take the high road because you are BETTER than them.
They are not worth the effort it takes to plan or carry out revenge. They have both proven that they are lowlifes and ingrates. Why waste your time even agonizing over such pathetic people?? They're cheaters. Why even get involved in their lives? You don't know that the husband doesn't already know what the wife is doing, but he tolerates it or chooses to believe it's not happening (like others have mentioned here). You don't even know the guy.
Cut your losses and move on because that's all these people deserve. You could think about anything else in life...you could sit around and think about plants all day and that would be a better way to spend your time than thinking about those people.
That's the attitude that worked for me during my bad break-ups when I liked to think about revenge (never actually taking it, just liking the idea) and then I realized just how toxic those thoughts are.
Good points savoytruffle - our OP is swimming in a toxic soup of thoughts right now.
Just got back online and noticing this post and sixy's . Im surprised people (you two, I have to go back and read the rest) think it's a bad thing. If you were in his shoes would you want to know?
If I would be the husband, I would want to know. I would really appreciate if somebody would tell me and open my eyes.
If you do it, don't do it to start drama. Do it for the husband who doesn't deserve to be played.
I would personally go to him and tell him that your bf - now ex bf - is dating his wife. I truly believe that is the right thing to do.
Then I would get a new, super sexy hair cut and go clothes shopping. Show the ex what he is missing out on by looking happy and pretty.
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