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It's like she hooked up with the first guy that showed up after we stopped being together. She had a couple of boyfriend after that, then met him and they have been together for a few years. She cares for him, I'm sure of that.
I personally don't believe every marriage has to be a major love story.
I can relate.. I have dated several men in the past who have done the same after I realized I could not give them what they wanted and ended the relationship. Loving a person- while wonderful- is different than being able to provide for & meet their needs (i.e. marriage, children, stability..) especially when you know it is not within your ability.
You should be commended for approaching this as you are. Yes, you should cut off all contact completely. It is very difficult, but you are firm in your reasoning and seem to see the truth of the situation. You know enough to know that even though there is a connection, it is still not strong enough to get you to commit. Even if you did, it would be smoother sailing for her to be with someone other than you. It is okay for some of that back-and-forth, meandering interest type of thing to go on between the opposite sex friends as teenagers and early adults, but when it is serious time as far as a family and kids are concerned, it is best to end this type of thing so she can focus on the future without interference. You are doing the right thing here.
Leave her alone and cut all ties. She's made a decision to marry this man and she's not the one for you....comfort does not equal love.
On a side note. How sad is it that this man that is marrying her probably believes she is in love with him and here she is willing to walk away to him and be with you? I'm sorry, I hear a character flaw in this person. Would you even consider EVER being with someone who showed you they are capable of lying and manipulating others with no true love or respect for the other person?
Although you may have commitment issues, she's no prize. If she jumps ship easily then she's not a loyal or quality person.
Have a last conversation and urge her to be respectful of her future husband.
I've told her the same thing but it's not my place to meddle into their business. She cares for him and she's faithful to him but she has admitted he's not her love.
Curiously, they still have more things in common than we would ever do.
She is not faithful to him. You have her HEART.....and you could EASILY have her BODY if you wanted.
I think you like the attention and are playing games. First you ask if you should cut ties then buy a gift, asking if you should go to her wedding? Drama!!!
Let her be happy and leave her alone with the man that was mature enough to plan to marry her.
They had a conversation, I wouldn't compare that to cheating.. Seems like the girl just wanted to be sure of how the OP felt before accepting reality and moving on with her life.. Better now than after walking down the alter. True, she may not be ready for marriage, she may not be in love, and she may've wanted the OP to "rescue" her.. But I think in matters like this, people need to be true to themselves.. What she does from here is her business.
Well, I hope you and your fear of commitment will be happy through the years. It can't cook, clean, go on vacations, give you a hug, or be there when you need to vent.
But everyone is different, and that is your thing. Rock it.
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I think you like the attention and are playing games. First you ask if you should cut ties then buy a gift, asking if you should go to her wedding? Drama!!!
Let her be happy and leave her alone with the man that was mature enough to plan to marry her.
Going to the wedding would obviously be the last thing I would do before breaking off contact.
Mature enough to marry her? I told her the truth, it's hard to be more mature than that.
She is not faithful to him. You have her HEART.....and you could EASILY have her BODY if you wanted.
IN NO WAY is that being faithful.
This chick sucks.
We haven't touched each other since she's with this man. I would never do that.
What's she's supposed to do? Wait for me forever when I know things wouldn't work out between us? She wants to have children and can't wait endlessly. I'm glad she has found someone who can match her expectations and who treats her well.
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