Do you retaliate when someone really hurts you? (wives, boyfriend, girlfriends)

[Auraliea]

I'm talking about anyone: friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriends, husbands, and wives.

Not physically either, but mainly emotionally and mentally. Just about everyone retaliates when or if someone physically assaults them. Most of the time.

Do you just walk away from a person when they have betrayed you or stabbed you in the back? Or do you need to get revenge?

Call me a push over, but when someone close to me has hurt me, I feel so bad I can't even do anything to really retaliate. I stand up for myself of course. I'll be upset about it for a while then eventually I'll get over it with no real long term effects. I'm just asking because the subject came up with some friends the other day. They all said they have retaliated one way or another when someone has hurt their feelings. I've never really gotten angry enough to really want to do that, at least not that I recall. I'm mainly just sad and distraught. Ironically I love to debate things though lol. It really depends.

What about you?

[NewbiePoster]

Retaliating isn't mature. Standing up for yourself, being assertive, is. There's a big difference between the two.

[Ralph_Kirk]

The only person who has really hurt me has been my ex-wife. I've only been puking drunk twice in my life, and both times were over her.

But, no, I did not retaliate. The only real weapon I would have had would have been my son, and even though she left me as a single parent when he was just a baby, screwing him up to spite her (you can't treach a boy to hate his mother) would have ultimately been a losing proposition.

As it was, he finally realized on his own how screwed up she is.

[ocnjgirl]

I agree. I don't retaliate, either. All that does is bring you down to their level.

[ventura23]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

I'm talking about anyone: friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriends, husbands, and wives.

Not physically either, but mainly emotionally and mentally. Just about everyone retaliates when or if someone physically assaults them. Most of the time.

Do you just walk away from a person when they have betrayed you or stabbed you in the back? Or do you need to get revenge?

Call me a push over, but when someone close to me has hurt me, I feel so bad I can't even do anything to really retaliate. I stand up for myself of course. I'll be upset about it for a while then eventually I'll get over it with no real long term effects. I'm just asking because the subject came up with some friends the other day. They all said they have retaliated one way or another when someone has hurt their feelings. I've never really gotten angry enough to really want to do that, at least not that I recall. I'm mainly just sad and distraught. Ironically I love to debate things though lol. It really depends.

What about you?

Just give them a look and they never do it again.
Or don't let your ego hurt back because people who hurt others
have also been hurt.

[Huckleberry3911948]

I don't have to so far they usually fall on their own sword
OK OK I help a little bit but not that much

[CarbonCountyLiving]

The best revenge is a life well lived.

[Artifice32]

I've never retaliated when someone has hurt me. I feel sad and distraught for sure. But my reaction is always to just get away from them. Something I have found is that typically when someone hurts you it's not personal i.e. they have a tendency to hurt to everyone. That's why there is a such thing as toxic people out there. I think your response is perfectly healthy and your friend's response is not.

[rego00123]

I usually just laugh it off.

I'm not sure what anyone could say to me that could emotionally "bother me" in a way that wasn't also a reflection of themselves as a person.

[Adhom]

My first impulse is always to retaliate but as I got older and listening to the advice of people who truly cared for me, I've come to realize retaliation is pointless.