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I think monogomy is ridiculous and unnatural so I like open relationships. I'm upfront about it but it's hard to find many women who accept it so I end up keeping two women at the same time in secret.
I met this woman about a year ago and we clicked. She's not only very beautiful but intelligent and respectful as well. She's hard working and a terrific mother as well. Things developed between us and when I told her how it worked out with me, she seemed a little afraid at first but surprisingly she said she was okay with my terms.
My open relationships are not completely anarchic, though. There's the main relationship and everything else is nothing more than casual affairs. Besides, there's rule number one: we should never talk about what he do or did with other people.
However, I'm starting to believe that she's not really okay with our deal but she stays with me because she really likes me.
She has had a rough life. Her father sexually abused her from the ages of 11 and 16. Still, she managed to get her life in order, go to university and graduate. Then she met her son's father who beated her up for the 3 years they were together.
We live separately but spend weekends together. I've caught her crying several times when I got home late on Friday night. She knows I've been with other women. Then I notice how she really craves my attention, she seems to kiss the ground I walk on and doesn't mind doing domestic chores for me even when I say there's no need for it. She also loves my son and enjoys taking care of him when he's around.
Lastly, I've no indication to believe she's seeing someone else.
I mean, I want to be with her because I care for her but not if she's suffering. However, I'm afraid to touch the issue because she might feel as I'm making excuses to dump her. She's still rather sensitive after what she has been through.
This is usually what happens in open relationships.
One person ends up developing feelings, and does not want to share them with someone else. That's how human emotions work. I know how she feels, I wouldn't want to share someone I love with anyone else either. That honestly defeats the purpose but eh whatever floats your boat. More than likely she probably thought she could make you fall in love with her and only want to be with her, but obviously it back fired. She needs to be in a relationship with someone who cares for her and only her. I think you should let her go. Better she hurt now than for many years to come.
I didn't read past your first paragraph where you said: I'm upfront about it but it's hard to find many women who accept it so I end up keeping two women at the same time in secret.
I think monogomy is ridiculous and unnatural so I like open relationships. I'm upfront about it but it's hard to find many women who accept it so I end up keeping two women at the same time in secret.
I met this woman about a year ago and we clicked. She's not only very beautiful but intelligent and respectful as well. She's hard working and a terrific mother as well. Things developed between us and when I told her how it worked out with me, she seemed a little afraid at first but surprisingly she said she was okay with my terms.
My open relationships are not completely anarchic, though. There's the main relationship and everything else is nothing more than casual affairs. Besides, there's rule number one: we should never talk about what he do or did with other people.
However, I'm starting to believe that she's not really okay with our deal but she stays with me because she really likes me.
She has had a rough life. Her father sexually abused her from the ages of 11 and 16. Still, she managed to get her life in order, go to university and graduate. Then she met her son's father who beated her up for the 3 years they were together.
We live separately but spend weekends together. I've caught her crying several times when I got home late on Friday night. She knows I've been with other women. Then I notice how she really craves my attention, she seems to kiss the ground I walk on and doesn't mind doing domestic chores for me even when I say there's no need for it. She also loves my son and enjoys taking care of him when he's around.
Lastly, I've no indication to believe she's seeing someone else.
I mean, I want to be with her because I care for her but not if she's suffering. However, I'm afraid to touch the issue because she might feel as I'm making excuses to dump her. She's still rather sensitive after what she has been through.
Would it matter if she were seeing someone else?
If so, how would you treat her and how would you feel?
Not that I'm condemning you for your lifestyle. But, if monogamy is so un-natural it shouldn't matter if she was seeing someone else.
And does she really know you're seeing other women, verbatim?
She probably cries because she knows you are seeing other people but aren't being open/honest about it. Deception hurts the most.
Open/honest communication could segue into her being more receptive to the idea of open relationships. Because if she's given the impression it's clearly closed off, she's going to be hurt and sad and feel deceived.
Horrendous situation....but it would be best if you stopped seeing her. You may not mean to but you are inflicting pain....and she is used to that so cant defend herself. I think the only decent thing for you to do....is to stop seeing her. She has been so badly hurt in the past and now with you in the present.....and you are either acting like a cad or are a cruel and insensitive man.
Would it matter if she were seeing someone else?
If so, how would you treat her and how would you feel?
Not that I'm condemning you for your lifestyle. But, if monogamy is so un-natural it shouldn't matter if she was seeing someone else.
It would be great news if she was seeing someone else! It would mean she was truly okay with our deal.
Sorry but like I said, one of the key rules is not mentionoing the other people your are seeing. It gets too complicated and awkward that way. But like I said, there are priorities. If I had to choose between her and other women, I wouldn't have to think twice.
P.S. Of course she knows I'm dating other women, she's not stupid and I've told her myself one woman is not enough to me.
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