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The challenge. They want to see if they can take him away from the other woman. It fluffs their ego if they succeed.
I know more men into sleeping with married women than vice-versa. Truth is that plenty of them have an exit strategy at hand and they can easily avoid any obligations of maintaining a serious relationship, or they can simply skip the tricky parts that they wanted to avoid in first place. There's also a leverage at their hand that this woman won't be able to make most of the moves as long as she's married with other guy.
There's also the culture of swinging, which is usually about having sexual variety. It is usually proposed by men and it usually serves to "rent" a woman to another like-minded guy so that he can have access to this guy's wife as well, usually in a non-casual manner.
There are more married men than women who need o hide their marital status to avid repelling potential dates, especially since so many U.S. men are into "casual" dating.
That being said, both men and women willing to have an affair with a married person are very abundant, it's just that there's a different dynamics in the process - married man needs to make advances while married woman simply sends signals that she's "available".
There are very few marriage minded men that want to deal with a woman that has a ton of men in her face. The best men do not compete for women.
I'm talking about men in general and a lot of them aren't "marriage minded" these days, as evidenced by some of the posts I read here. "Be legally committed to ONE woman for life? Have my sexual and financial freedom taken away? Oh the horror! Why do that when I can just get casual sex whenever I want it?" I don't know how many women are up for that arrangement, but ok.
Some women don't want a f/t man to deal with. No picking up socks, cleaning up after him, dealing with his drama and mood swings, so they go the P/T route. Besides, why would any single woman want to be with a man who is a cheater? He will do it to her if he is doing it to his wife.
Also, once you are in your 30's, the amount of available men start to dwindle and you are left with losers. Better off dating a married guy who can take you out to nice restaurants and have hot sex with, who isn't divorced, broke and living in a basement apartment with 3 kids.
On the other hand, some women have low self-esteem and really think the guy is going to leave their wives for them, which almost never happens.
Maybe married men as a group tend to generally be desirable men for women in the first place from a character/personality/attractiveness standpoint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I'm talking about men in general and a lot of them aren't "marriage minded" these days, as evidenced by some of the posts I read here. "Be legally committed to ONE woman for life? Have my sexual and financial freedom taken away? Oh the horror! Why do that when I can just get casual sex whenever I want it." I don't know how many women are up for that arrangement, but ok.
So true! My wife has a lot of single friends who would like marriage and who constantly complain about how difficult it is to meet good men who are also interested in marriage.
I'm talking about men in general and a lot of them aren't "marriage minded" these days, as evidenced by some of the posts I read here. "Be legally committed to ONE woman for life? Have my sexual and financial freedom taken away? Oh the horror! Why do that when I can just get casual sex whenever I want it?"
It's fine if that's what they want. I just have a hard time seeing what the women get out of this arrangement. It's one thing for the highly desirable men to think that way, but the average Joe? Please.
Allowing ourselves to be tied for life to one woman, no matter what her qualities might be is just WAY too much like that jar of chocolate sauce she just HAD to have, and then it sits in the frig for months ... untouched. Hell no.
Having an affair with a married person is "safer" than with a single person if one is trying to be discrete, because the married person has an incentive not to tell anyone. If you hook up with a single person, they might post of pictures of you on their facebook page or something. It is all about secrecy and exit strategy.
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I don't know how many women are up for that arrangement, but ok.
