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hmm... I see what you mean. I think paragraph one is "a" norm, but not the only norm. It's not my norm, but that's just me. (And the OP, apparently, haha!) A coffee/teahouse date is also a norm. A museum, with or without lunch, is another norm.
Still, I thought the ice cream soda suggestion was cute. I guess I'm not the sophisticated type. Not into wine or margaritas. So first date choices are a good screening device, I guess.
I agree. It is cute, in a quirky sort of way, and some people absolutely love that kind of thing. It's not within the normal realm of what adults do on first dates, though (at least anywhere I've lived...apparently in New England it is), so it's a bit of a risk. You might get someone who thinks you're being really unique/clever/quirky/fun, but you also have to accept that some people are going to find it to be bizarre or childish. In other words, feel free to take the risk, if you want, but don't be surprised when it doesn't always work.
I don't think anyone is being "picky" so much as trying to help the OP understand why he got the reaction he got. Presumably he's looking for a different reaction next time, and we're trying to help him get it.
Yeah, I've lived in IL, IN, and mostly in Wisconsin and going out for ice cream wasn't something people did.
Really? 'Cause we were in Kopp's in Milwaukee last Saturday evening, after doing the Public Market and Milwaukee Art Museum, and it was pretty much mobbed.
When I lived in KC, the boutiquey Plaza neighborhood had a number of places to get gelato, "artisanal" ice cream, etc (often with an attached espresso bar), and they did a booming walk up business. Not exactly Baskin-Robbins or DQ.
Heh, I got a ridiculously picky vibe from some responses, as well. It's just a first meetup, not a license to wig out and be all, "How DARE you suggest going for ice cream! Don't you know I'm LACTOSE INTOLERANT???! How insensitive!"
I think this is a regional thing. Ice cream consumption varies widely from region to region. Here in New England, there is one to two ice cream places in almost every neighborhood. Adults going out for ice cream is the norm. Other places it is a fringe thing probably only done with young kids. It also doesn't align with temperature at all.
Wow! That was fascinating - and that sheds a lot more light on the range of responses on this thread. Thanks for that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bucktownbabe
I agree. It is cute, in a quirky sort of way, and some people absolutely love that kind of thing. It's not within the normal realm of what adults do on first dates, though (at least anywhere I've lived...apparently in New England it is), so it's a bit of a risk. You might get someone who thinks you're being really unique/clever/quirky/fun, but you also have to accept that some people are going to find it to be bizarre or childish. In other words, feel free to take the risk, if you want, but don't be surprised when it doesn't always work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bucktownbabe
I don't think anyone is being "picky" so much as trying to help the OP understand why he got the reaction he got. Presumably he's looking for a different reaction next time, and we're trying to help him get it.
Yeah, there's always a risk when you try to be quirky or offbeat. It might come across as charming and endearing, and it might come off as bizarre and socially awkward. In fact, this past weekend while my BF and I were out having lunch, we saw a situation that one us thought was charming and adorable and the other thought was painfully awkward and dork in a very bad way. So you can't always predict.
The other thing about this thread that I find interesting is the way some of us differentiate between a first meeting and a first date, and the way others view them as the same thing. I tend to see them as separate (partly because I usually date people who I know somehow or have at least met before (i.e. friends of friends, someone from that French immersion night class, the guy I see every Saturday morning at my favorite coffee shop who is always reading the Atlantic Monthly.) It's less often that the notion of a quick pre-screening meeting happens (assuming the purpose of the quick coffee date is to determine if there's enough interest to go on a "real date").
LOL. I was thinking the same thing. The point is to sit down with someone and get to know them. To make things more comfortable you go and "do" something. Whether it's ice cream, coffee or drinks really wouldn't matter to me, and I've always considered myself a picky wench.
If I didn't like the choice I would just suggest something else on the same level. I'm going to get know the guy and that would be the most important thing.
I think I would write off anyone who was so damn picky and so judgmental about where to go for a quick meeting.
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Maybe the OP can take this woman's dismissal of his suggestion as a clear sign that she is not for him and move on to someone who is more his type. She might have saved him a lot of time a trouble.
LOL. I was thinking the same thing. The point is to sit down with someone and get to know them. To make things more comfortable you go and "do" something. Whether it's ice cream, coffee or drinks really wouldn't matter to me, and I've always considered myself a picky wench.
If I didn't like the choice I would just suggest something else on the same level. I'm going to get know the guy and that would be the most important thing.
I think I would write off anyone who was so damn picky and so judgmental about where to go for a quick meeting.
Yep. I am much more interested in a guy with an off the beaten path date idea than somebody trotting out their same old stock generic date night.
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