Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You may not use a 1-10 scale, but you can't honestly tell me women don't do THIS?
"Well, Kevin's REALLY cute, and has a great body, but he's kind of an a--hole, and doesn't seem to care about anything besides himself. Jack isn't as cute, but wow, there's something about him, and he's just so awesome to be with".
Maybe. (Those women who actually have options.) But can you see how that's different from assigning women a number based purely on looks, as if she's a piece of meat?
Very sweet about how you relate to your wife, post-pregnancy.
This is true. The women I know don't think in these terms at all. I'd never heard of this ranking thing until joining C-D.
The claim that all men rank women is false. Some men actually approach women as individuals and not livestock that need to be rated before purchase. The key is this: do you find the one you love attractive? Hopefully the answer is yes. And if so, where she "ranks" should be completely irrelevant. It is to me. I have never been with a woman I did not find attractive. If I had a list, it would be impossible to rank them all on looks alone. I don't even bother to try this with women I don't know.
The claim that all men rank women is false. Some men actually approach women as individuals and not livestock that need to be rated before purchase. The key is this: do you find the one you love attractive? Hopefully the answer is yes. And if so, where she "ranks" should be completely irrelevant. It is to me. I have never been with a woman I did not find attractive. If I had a list, it would be impossible to rank them all on looks alone. I don't even bother to try this with women I don't know.
That's because you see the big picture. Many men do. I think this article was for those who don't.
I have known (still do) so many wonderful men throughout the years. Good guys from all sorts of backgrounds, walks of life, etc.
I feel very fortunate to have come of age and dated and married before the advent of internet dating and the PUA movement.
People actually TALKED to one another.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
I don't choose a woman based on what she accomplished, I am not a employer. I choose a woman based on her physical appearance and personality
I choose a woman based on a combination of factors, which include compatibility of mindset and world-view, and yes, some smattering of accomplishments. A successful date is remarkably like a successful interview, and the mutual decision to become romantically involved is remarkably like the offer (and acceptance) of employment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
The idea that you live your life and try to be a good person and give back to your community and be productive and challenge yourself and grow...that be the point of life...and then IF you so happen to meet someone you get along with, have stuff in common with, can share your life with...THEN you get married?
Why are we on some crazy chase for something that should happen as a RESULT of life...and treating it as an endpoint instead of something that should come about naturally?
I really don't see the point of *pursuing* relationships or a dating life or whatever. That's like forcing a friendship. Things should be natural and evolve organically, not made up to fit some ideal or goal.
Finding a relationship should not be the prize for a life well-lived.
Let's make some comparisons here. Education takes effort, and not everyone is well-educated; in fact, most people are not well educated. Finding (and keeping) a good job takes effort. Fitness takes effort. Most people aren't particularly fit. Earning money (through salary, investment, asset/business ownership) takes effort, and most people haven't substantially succeeded in that either. Excellence in any field takes effort, whether it's playing a musical instrument or chess or skipping-rope on the sidewalk. We do not – and should not – expect to be successful without doing our homework and striving for self-improvement.
But then comes the question of relationships. Everyone is incessantly agog over "bettering themselves", in optimizing their mating-choices. Fine. Shoot for the stars. But the assertion of the article, and a common trope, is that person A (regardless of gender) will never find romantic connection with person B (random in this example) unless A attains some merit, excellence, achievement and whatnot.
Taking early-retirement or endowing a charitable foundation or receiving an award from one's professional society require, well, doing something. They are the result of something that we do. But what about mating? Why is this the "result" of anything? It is simply the "result" of rough parity in number of men and women, and biological urge between them.
I choose a woman based on a combination of factors, which include compatibility of mindset and world-view, and yes, some smattering of accomplishments. A successful date is remarkably like a successful interview, and the mutual decision to become romantically involved is remarkably like the offer (and acceptance) of employment.
Finding a relationship should not be the prize for a life well-lived.
Let's make some comparisons here. Education takes effort, and not everyone is well-educated; in fact, most people are not well educated. Finding (and keeping) a good job takes effort. Fitness takes effort. Most people aren't particularly fit. Earning money (through salary, investment, asset/business ownership) takes effort, and most people haven't substantially succeeded in that either. Excellence in any field takes effort, whether it's playing a musical instrument or chess or skipping-rope on the sidewalk. We do not – and should not – expect to be successful without doing our homework and striving for self-improvement.
But then comes the question of relationships. Everyone is incessantly agog over "bettering themselves", in optimizing their mating-choices. Fine. Shoot for the stars. But the assertion of the article, and a common trope, is that person A (regardless of gender) will never find romantic connection with person B (random in this example) unless A attains some merit, excellence, achievement and whatnot.
Taking early-retirement or endowing a charitable foundation or receiving an award from one's professional society require, well, doing something. They are the result of something that we do. But what about mating? Why is this the "result" of anything? It is simply the "result" of rough parity in number of men and women, and biological urge between them.
but unfortunately it is, people look at older single people like dregs of society.
Let's see...I have met and dated 5 gorgeous, brilliant, kind women...without running around like a rabid dog chasing after people. Pretty much all of them fell into my lap at the right time of my life. I think I asked ONE of them out officially.
I married the last one.
No hullabaloo or rigamarole.
Yes. At some point you will have to have a conversation about romantic interest or a date.
I have many friends who have met the people they married that way. It was some crazy incessant search. It was life unfolding.
And no...it's not like becoming a laywer.
Life doesn't unfold so easily for some. Just saying.
Life doesn't unfold so easily for some. Just saying.
True. If all you do is wait for life to unfold, you could be waiting a very long time. Even the process of life unfolding takes direction from the person living that life. Career decisions, education, etc. It's an active process.
The idea that you live your life and try to be a good person and give back to your community and be productive and challenge yourself and grow...that be the point of life...and then IF you so happen to meet someone you get along with, have stuff in common with, can share your life with...THEN you get married?
Why are we on some crazy chase for something that should happen as a RESULT of life...and treating it as an endpoint instead of something that should come about naturally?
I really don't see the point of *pursuing* relationships or a dating life or whatever. That's like forcing a friendship. Things should be natural and evolve organically, not made up to fit some ideal or goal.
Wow!
Yes!
I agree! If people took this attitude and applied it - there would be so much less of that feeling going around of not being good enough, or lacking somehow!
I really like what you said and I think I'm going to make this my perspective from now on.
Life doesn't unfold so easily for some. Just saying.
You're right. It doesn't. But, that doesn't mean that what stan4 said isn't valid.
It does unfold. If it's not unfolding the way a person would like, they need to check their expectations and then see if there's something they can do to help it along.
If one has reasonable expectations, life does just sort of unfold.
If one expects to meet and marry a supermodel or an actor while sitting in their apartment eating Cheetos when they're not working at the gas station, this is highly unlikely.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
