Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sure, but intimacy exists on a continuum, not just in two categories of "intimate" and "not intimate." Nobody is saying that oral sex isn't intimate. Some say it's more intimate than intercourse and others say it's less intimate than intercourse. I guess this seems obvious to me, so I'm having difficulty understanding why some appear to be shocked by it.
I admit this is an issue I am dealing with. I agreed to wait until marriage for sex but it is a struggle. I can't imagine many here have waited until marriage but how was it?
I waited until I fell head over heels in love at 19, thankfully it was with my husband of 32 years~ ...
I have a lot of respect for people in the mid/late 20's and 30's that have remained chaste before marriage. That takes discipline, faith and cajones.
I'm not as impressed by the doe-eyed 19 or 20 year old that's a virgin and happily marries the second person they've ever dated. I suspect that if they could only get married on the condition of remaining celibate for five additional years, they'd be more than willing to wait.
What you're describing is more of a semantics issue. What you call it is a separate variable from how intimate it is.
I view oral sex as a sex act, but it is not on the same plane, in terms of potential level of intimacy, as intercourse.
I would gather if the question "Have you had sex before?" is asked, the majority would assume the person asking means intercourse. I wouldn't ask that if I meant oral sex. If I mean to ask about oral sex, I'd be much more specific.
Not all sex acts share the same level of intimacy for all people. It can greatly depend on the partner and other variables. Sex hasn't always been blissfully intimate and magical for me, and the same is true for oral sex. I don't view them as "different" because I have a f*cked view of sex and have been brainwashed to believe oral is less sinful and wrong than intercourse. I just view the two in a different light, especially when it comes to intimacy.
I view oral sex as a sex act, but it is not on the same plane, in terms of potential level of intimacy, as intercourse.
I would gather if the question "Have you had sex before?" is asked, the majority would assume the person asking means intercourse. I wouldn't ask that if I meant oral sex. If I mean to ask about oral sex, I'd be much more specific.
Not all sex acts share the same level of intimacy for all people. It can greatly depend on the partner and other variables. Sex hasn't always been blissfully intimate and magical for me, and the same is true for oral sex. I don't view them as "different" because I have a f*cked view of sex and have been brainwashed to believe oral is less sinful and wrong than intercourse. I just view the two in a different light, especially when it comes to intimacy.
I have a lot of respect for people in the mid/late 20's and 30's that have remained chaste before marriage. That takes discipline, faith and cajones.
That or a severe lack of attractiveness and interpersonal skills.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgn2013
I'm not as impressed by the doe-eyed 19 or 20 year old that's a virgin and happily marries the second person they've ever dated.
Yeah, that rarely works out well. That's the biggest problem with adhering to the whole no-sex-before-marriage thing, IMO: Young people want to get married so they can start having sex, which severely clouds judgement in the spouse-selection process.
I view oral sex as a sex act, but it is not on the same plane, in terms of potential level of intimacy, as intercourse.
I would gather if the question "Have you had sex before?" is asked, the majority would assume the person asking means intercourse. I wouldn't ask that if I meant oral sex. If I mean to ask about oral sex, I'd be much more specific.
Not all sex acts share the same level of intimacy for all people. It can greatly depend on the partner and other variables. Sex hasn't always been blissfully intimate and magical for me, and the same is true for oral sex. I don't view them as "different" because I have a f*cked view of sex and have been brainwashed to believe oral is less sinful and wrong than intercourse. I just view the two in a different light, especially when it comes to intimacy.
Very well said. CD won't let me rep you again.
For what it's worth, I lost my virginity a full year before Clinton was elected president, and even back then (late 80's / early 90's), when people said they had sex they generally meant sexual intercourse, and plenty of people considered oral sex to be less intimate than intercourse. There's a reason we called oral third base and intercourse a home run.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
