Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you want to be honest with him, don't get into details. Tell the BF you and Tod (Ted's acquaintance) made out one time, and leave it at that. No details. And, also, tell him you're embarrassed, and wanted him to know because you want to be honest with him.
That's contradictory since what you suggest is telling him a lie.
Last edited by QuestOfTruth; 06-26-2014 at 09:37 PM..
Mmmmmm....wow! I mean...what do you say to that? I can see why you're scared. Hell, we've all done things we ain't proud of. Best I can do here is say, if the guy blabs, best to just fess up and hope your guy has some sense enough to understand that. On, so some crazy sex stuff happened once. If he really.cares about you it wont matter.
If the guy you saw tries mentioning it on the sly and tries to hold it over you, tell your guy yourself, and why you're telling him. But, just take it as it comes for now and try to pull yourself together.Try and have some faith in your guy. I know its tough, but try.
We've all done things we aren't proud of, I stole a 1p sweet when I was a kid...
How about: Don't mention the guy, but tell Ted that you are feeling insecure because you are thinking of something you and a gf did when drunk one time way back before you met him, and worrying that he would judge you.
If he asks questions, answer, but don't ever mention that it was (maybe) the guy at the party.
One thing I have learned on CDR is that men tend to be way more tolerant if they don't picture a specific other guy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
That's quite different from [allegedly] giving [Bleep] a bunch of strangers in public, then blaming it on alcohol.
That's quite different from [allegedly] giving [Bleep] a bunch of strangers in public, then blaming it on alcohol.
My point exactly...
Why do so many of you have a problem with the truth? Ive seen some of you suggest that she tells him a lie in the name of honesty, some of you suggest downplaying what happened, others say never to tell anyone period and now we have Wmsn4Life inserting the phrase ''allegedly'' when she clearly stated that it happened.
I think the reason why so many are aversed to the truth is simply because they fear consequences. In the OP's case it could be her bf walking away in disgust.
I'm on here once in a while but need to go anon on this. Just too embarassing.
I'm in a great, healthy and fun relationship with a terrific man. "Ted" and I have been together for about a year and a half and we're both serious about our futures together.
So this is my situation. A couple of days ago I joined Ted at one of his firm's dos. All pretty normal - he's invited me a bunch of times already. Well this time though I recognized another guy who was there. At some point we were all in a group and Ted introduced me to him. I'm not sure if he recognized me.
A bit before I met Ted, a girlfriend and I went to a very big sporting event (can't give details). We met there some guys who invited us to join them in a corporate private box. Well we all got pretty "inebriated" and I guess inhibitions went away. My girlfriend and I ended up[Bleep] a bunch of guys there.
When I got up the next day I was mortified at what had happened. My girlfriend and I have sworn to never ever ever tell anyone, which obviously I haven't. But now one of those guys saw me at the function.
If he blabs or tells anyone about that time I would be mortified especially if Ted finds out. So I don't know whether I should do anything like maybe tell Ted "something" or not. I'm scared and I could really use some advice. Thanks all
If your relationship is as real as it is, then tell him you know that guy from the other night. And even though people don't think its' ok to tell him, imagine a few years from now, and you are married. The guy is drunk and is talking about this game where these girls blew him and a bunch of friends. It may have already happened, and at anytime your SO can find out. It's embarrassing, but it was before you even met him. It's the past, and he has no say in what happened. He should be happy you told him, because if word gets back, he will be prepared for it. If he gets ambushed, you will never live it down. If his values prohibit him from respecting you, I can honestly say, he doesn't deserve you.
Don't let the puritanical views of members make you feel worse than you feel already. It's really the only thing to do, just tell him you were drunk, and that you and your friend did some crazy things. You know, it's so easy to put someone down when they ask for help, but trust me,being straight up is always the best route. Now if this happened if while you were dating, I suggest, deny deny deny deny....only because at that point, the only person it helps is the person who screwed up.
This is how you should approach this.....Honey, can we talk....only tell him after spending an excellent saturday together....The other weekend, you introduced me to a group, and I recognized this guy in the group. I couldn't remember where I know him from. But now I do....Me and your girlfriend, went to the......got drunk...and met these guys and we got crazy that night. I'm pretty sure such and such was one of the guys. I wanted to let you know in case at one time, he says something...I love you baby, and I'd never want to put you in a vulnerable position....then get on your knees<<<seriously
If your relationship is as real as it is, then tell him you know that guy from the other night. And even though people don't think its' ok to tell him, imagine a few years from now, and you are married. The guy is drunk and is talking about this game where these girls blew him and a bunch of friends. It may have already happened, and at anytime your SO can find out. It's embarrassing, but it was before you even met him. It's the past, and he has no say in what happened. He should be happy you told him, because if word gets back, he will be prepared for it. If he gets ambushed, you will never live it down. If his values prohibit him from respecting you, I can honestly say, he doesn't deserve you.
I disagree about telling him.
Look, this event occurred before she even knew her boyfriend - it has nothing to do with him.
Telling him the details will impact him and their relationship very negatively in all likelihood, since a lot of guys couldn't stomach this kind of 'truth'.
IF he were to ever hear the gossip or rumors about this event she could discuss it with him and tell him how she's worked hard to overcome the shame and regret.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
