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I love my boyfriend but for awhile now I have not necessarily wanted to be single but some of the perks of being single back.
I'm 24, I'm young with no kids yet the only time I get alone is my drive to and from work and in the bathroom, only at work though, we only have one bathroom and some times we both are in there.
I want to be able to sprawl out in bed and not have to sleep so cooped up.
I want to be able to have time by myself. I never get that.
It's so frustrating to never have time by myself.
I never get to go out either. I want to just be able to go hang out with my friends when I want, sprawl out in bed and just have some time alone. I can't keep going on like this because I'm miserable.
I don't necessarily want to break up but I need a little space and I don't know how to tell him this.
I'm also in a tough situation, he's been taking care of me for the past 7 weeks after a car accident in which I spent 5 days in the ICU, had surgery and I fractured my chest, back and foot.
I don't want him to think im ungrateful.
It's been a long time building way before the accident. With the stress of the accident I just can't take anymore.
I think a break would be nice, we have a house, there's a second bed, we have two tvs, big flat screens he could set something up at home.
I want him to get a job and get serious about being in a relationship with me, I don't want a mooch who freeloads and then complains about everything I do, ask me to change stuff I do and in general adds to my stress. We don't agree on anything right now and he and I argue about everything.
How do I tell him I'd like a break for a bit because I don't want to throw our relationship away but I need my space right now to work on myself and I want him to work on himself too. I can't keep feeling like I have to nag at him like my mom nagged me when I was living with her at 20. I
I love my boyfriend but for awhile now I have not necessarily wanted to be single but some of the perks of being single back.
I'm 24, I'm young with no kids yet the only time I get alone is my drive to and from work and in the bathroom, only at work though, we only have one bathroom and some times we both are in there.
I want to be able to sprawl out in bed and not have to sleep so cooped up.
I want to be able to have time by myself. I never get that.
It's so frustrating to never have time by myself.
I never get to go out either. I want to just be able to go hang out with my friends when I want, sprawl out in bed and just have some time alone. I can't keep going on like this because I'm miserable.
I don't necessarily want to break up but I need a little space and I don't know how to tell him this.
I'm also in a tough situation, he's been taking care of me for the past 7 weeks after a car accident in which I spent 5 days in the ICU, had surgery and I fractured my chest, back and foot.
I don't want him to think im ungrateful.
It's been a long time building way before the accident. With the stress of the accident I just can't take anymore.
I think a break would be nice, we have a house, there's a second bed, we have two tvs, big flat screens he could set something up at home.
I want him to get a job and get serious about being in a relationship with me, I don't want a mooch who freeloads and then complains about everything I do, ask me to change stuff I do and in general adds to my stress. We don't agree on anything right now and he and I argue about everything.
How do I tell him I'd like a break for a bit because I don't want to throw our relationship away but I need my space right now to work on myself and I want him to work on himself too. I can't keep feeling like I have to nag at him like my mom nagged me when I was living with her at 20. I
Why don't you just set up the 2nd bedroom as a place where either of you can escape to watch whatever you want to watch on TV, take a nap, read a book, whatever?
I'd take this very slow if you don't want to break up. He's going to see this as you wanting to ditch him and he just spent considerable time helping you after a serious accident.
It is possible that this was building up before the accident, but serious health issues can affect a person's thinking.
Don't nag him. Encourage him. And... why can't you go out with friends now and then? You should be able to do that.... so should he.
The bathroom thing? I'd try to get some alone time in there.
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Didn't you both move together to a new town last year?
That makes it complicated, but not impossible.
Honestly, the best way to look at it is to imagine if HE felt this way about you. What would you want him to do??
You aren't doing him a favor by trying to "protect" his feelings and drag things out. There is no "slow" break-up.
I believe in the Band-aid approach. You need to tell him how you feel like you've told it here. His reaction will tell you a lot.
If he says he'll "work on" giving you space, etc., then count on an awkward period before you finally have to break up with him for real.
If he doesn't even have a job yet, I doubt he'll take the initiative to actually end things himself. But they need to end because the way you describe him isn't love. It's duty.
I want him to get a job and get serious about being in a relationship with me, I don't want a mooch who freeloads and then complains about everything I do, ask me to change stuff I do and in general adds to my stress. We don't agree on anything right now and he and I argue about everything.
This isn't sounding too healthy at the moment. Does he even know what you want? And if he does, what does he say about it?
and if possible only see each other 2-3 times a week that way you'll be excited when you see him and you can have some personal space
when people are on top of each other all the time it's not good, people need space and time to think and breath
alot of times men will say "will you please just sftu and gtf away from me and let me do my thing, damn..." in their minds and not say it out loud because you dont want to hurt feelings
When you call your boyfriend a mooch, freeloader, or complainer, they aren't terms of endearment. Are you trying to get space, or are you trying to let him down slowly. In either case, sounds like you need the space, and that can't be accomplished without someone moving out.
You need to establish boundaries, such as number of calls per week, maybe toss him a bone for a date night once a month....
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