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No because men are not measured by how many women they have been with. They are however, measured by how they ACT around women. How you act around women can tell a lot about a person, particularly their confidence and ego levels.
Oh yeah,
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJG87
Since I decided to break out of my shell in 2012 and start being less socially repressed and introverted, I've gone on my fair share of dates and have had friends-with-benefits here and there......but I've never had a serious, monogamous relationship with anyone yet. Now that all of my friends are always out with their BF/GF or bring them along when we hang out, I find it's starting to bother and depress me and leaves me feeling lonely. Sex is also get "weird" for me, as I want it but can't see myself enjoying it someone that just sees me as a friend with benefits, not a lover. Really frustrating.
I have no problems making new friends (especially platonic ones, it seems), but when it comes to expressing interest/desire in someone I find attractive...I don't really know how to do so without a serious amount of apprehension and anxiety. I usually think I'm being rude, imposing or a creeper if I want to tell someone I like them and find them attractive. Sometimes I think I'm doing it too soon, have waited too long or should even bother at all.
I don't know why I do this, as I seem to bond with people and form solid friendships without any problems or friction. I'm a generally likeable person and I'm always told by friends I'm attractive, funny and a pleasure to be around so I know I have that going for me....I'm just unsure of what else is missing here, maybe just initiative/confidence.
Also, if it matters, Fun Fact: I did not start dating or having sex until I was 25, two years ago.
Thanks!
Your issue is not women nor is it relationships. Your issue is your drive in life. It seems like you are out of your own masculine core are now trying to compensate it by sleeping with a lot of women. It's a nice idea, but it won't fix your long term issue. You need to discover your TRUE drives and passions. Take up hobbies, try new things, explore something, change careers. If you're having trouble with women, it's because YOUR masculine life is not at its center. Masculine energy is all about drive and passion, not women and sex- it does include this but it is not the SOLE purpose.
I am only 25 and have never been in what I'd call a LTR, nor am I even thinking about it at this stage. There's nothing odd or unusual about it. You're 27.. What's the rush? Date as many women as you'd like, have fun!
You're at at a great age, you're free... Enjoy!
I don't know why it would be a turn-off, OP. Some dudes don't even start dating until after uni, which, if it involves grad school, means they hit the scene around the same age you did. So it takes awhile to find that special lady. Not a big deal.
It seems like your question is more about how to let a women you're interested in know you want to date or get serious. That's a whole other topic than the one you posted. If you're dating someone and you are both digging it, the relationship naturally progresses. Maybe you just haven't hit it off in that way with anyone yet?
I didn't start dating until 28 or so. I'm doing just fine anymore.
First it was tons of awkward first dates, followed by a bunch of still awkward dates but usually made it to 2-4 dates and the bedroom, not much past that..
now I'm actually dating a cute, smart, active girl that enjoys being around me. I almost gave up on dating because it was becoming work. Out of nowhere I started to talking to the one I'm dating a couple times a week because she sat next to me at the breakfast place I go to. Just kinda took off from there.
I would've never said "Hi" and smiled at her 5 years ago, I would've just covered my food or pretended to be doing something on my phone so I'd appear invisible to people around me.
As a female I actually find it refreshing. I like the fact you are thinking about it, there is no rush, I'm 22 and not really had a real relationship, but I know now I'm at the point where I want to meet someone special, everyone has a different time frame that works for them.
Since I decided to break out of my shell in 2012 and start being less socially repressed and introverted, I've gone on my fair share of dates and have had friends-with-benefits here and there......but I've never had a serious, monogamous relationship with anyone yet. Now that all of my friends are always out with their BF/GF or bring them along when we hang out, I find it's starting to bother and depress me and leaves me feeling lonely. Sex is also get "weird" for me, as I want it but can't see myself enjoying it someone that just sees me as a friend with benefits, not a lover. Really frustrating.
I have no problems making new friends (especially platonic ones, it seems), but when it comes to expressing interest/desire in someone I find attractive...I don't really know how to do so without a serious amount of apprehension and anxiety. I usually think I'm being rude, imposing or a creeper if I want to tell someone I like them and find them attractive. Sometimes I think I'm doing it too soon, have waited too long or should even bother at all.
I don't know why I do this, as I seem to bond with people and form solid friendships without any problems or friction. I'm a generally likeable person and I'm always told by friends I'm attractive, funny and a pleasure to be around so I know I have that going for me....I'm just unsure of what else is missing here, maybe just initiative/confidence.
Also, if it matters, Fun Fact: I did not start dating or having sex until I was 25, two years ago.
Thanks!
Sucks how being socially retarded is worse for guys than it is for girls
I was 26 before I had a "real boyfriend" and 27 before I had a more long-term, serious relationship. Before that I just dated casually here & there, and not even that until I was in my early 20s.
You'd be surprised at how common this is. Lots of people date, hook-up, whatever, but don't have real, adult, committed relationship until their late 20s or even later.
I think you've identified your "problem" yourself - you just need a bit more initiative & confidence.
"I don't really know how to do so without a serious amount of apprehension and anxiety. I usually think I'm being rude, imposing or a creeper if I want to tell someone I like them and find them attractive."
But if you were those things, then would you make friends so easily? You're not a rude, imposing or creepy person, so you won't come off that way. Just remind yourself of what you have to offer & that if someone is not interested, it's not necessarily because you did something wrong, because you are not attractive or because she is a bad person either. She may just see how you are not compatible in a way you don't yet. Hopefully that eases some of the trepidation that comes with possibility of "rejection" - stop viewing it as rejection & instead think of it as pursuing opportunities with possibility they may not go as you'd like or expect.
Its okay to be nervous too. Just remember that women can feel nervous & awkward around men they like also. Imagine, when you are feeling nervous, that she may be nervous also, or she may caught up in some other emotion unrelated to you. Think what you could do to ease that feeling in her or amplify/complement it if it's positive....in focusing on how someone else may feel, it will take focus off of yourself & the nervousness may ease up a bit naturally.
Since I decided to break out of my shell in 2012 and start being less socially repressed and introverted, I've gone on my fair share of dates and have had friends-with-benefits here and there......but I've never had a serious, monogamous relationship with anyone yet. Now that all of my friends are always out with their BF/GF or bring them along when we hang out, I find it's starting to bother and depress me and leaves me feeling lonely. Sex is also get "weird" for me, as I want it but can't see myself enjoying it someone that just sees me as a friend with benefits, not a lover. Really frustrating.
I have no problems making new friends (especially platonic ones, it seems), but when it comes to expressing interest/desire in someone I find attractive...I don't really know how to do so without a serious amount of apprehension and anxiety. I usually think I'm being rude, imposing or a creeper if I want to tell someone I like them and find them attractive. Sometimes I think I'm doing it too soon, have waited too long or should even bother at all.
I don't know why I do this, as I seem to bond with people and form solid friendships without any problems or friction. I'm a generally likeable person and I'm always told by friends I'm attractive, funny and a pleasure to be around so I know I have that going for me....I'm just unsure of what else is missing here, maybe just initiative/confidence.
Also, if it matters, Fun Fact: I did not start dating or having sex until I was 25, two years ago.
Thanks!
Well them, I guess you sure did open up your shell two years ago!!
What's the question again??
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