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There are people who look for arguments everywhere and project their issues on others. That I would think is drama for me. Or jealously, lack of trust and the list goes on.
However, no one is completely free from issues and relationship is an art of understanding too.
When guys say "no drama" what they really mean to say - I am not going to care about your feelings too much or try to understand.
It also sounds cold and negative. No one wants a cold person. Yes, women are more emotional and men can be turned off by it, but then there are guys who will let you cry on their shoulder -I prefer those kinder ones.
Ex-boyfriend issues
Emotional instability
Disrespect
Tempers
Head games
No drama...means....No Bullsh*t.
If that statement scares you away then you are going to have a very difficult time meeting a high quality man because this is their #1 requirement.
That's not necessarily true.
There are a lot of men who won't tolerate even normal, appropriate emotional reactions to anything because they're too emotionally stunted themselves and it makes them uncomfortable.
There are plenty of men who come with a lot of drama - the ones who are physically or emotionally abusive, who rant about their exes, complain about supporting their children, are nasty drunks, jealous for no reason, etc.
There are some people who bring chaos in our lives and their are other people who help fight chaos.
Einhander has this thread where he talks about a woman he likes who has been to prison many times, who has gotten in a fight with a minor, who talks about her insecurities every two minutes, who has a list of issues that he describes as enormous, who has had multiple abusive relationships.
Saying he doesn't want drama means....he doesn't want drama. Clear and concise.
I don't understand what is hard about this.
Maybe open up a dictionary if the word is giving you issues, try dramatic too.
I tend to agree as Men are pretty easy to figure out in their statements. No Underlying reason. They state it and that IS the full gist of it.
Sure its nice to set a boundary and work towards that regard .
I've said the same to my dates and some of them took that is a challenge. There are reasons people have legs and can walk or even run from such events.
'Drama', in the relationship sense to me, means having to constantly be a rescuer and rehabilitator for those who seem to never address their issues and instead expect their partner to 'fix' them. Addiction is a good example - sorry, but not sorry - I am not inclined to deal with that mess... get thee to a rehabber because I don't play one on TV or IRL.
Same applies to other sorts of 'drama' - like hoarding. Again, nope to that - I don't want our home to be featured on Doctor Phil or anything else of that ilk.
To wit: you need to have your life in order and together, otherwise keep on moving.
Saying he doesn't want drama means....he doesn't want drama. Clear and concise.
I don't understand what is hard about this.
Maybe open up a dictionary if the word is giving you issues, try dramatic too.
99% of the time, anyone who leads with this has multiple Oscars in drama. They attract it and cause it. Drama-free people don’t have to lead with that statement.
99% of the time, anyone who leads with this has multiple Oscars in drama. They attract it and cause it. Drama-free people don’t have to lead with that statement.
Depends on each individual's definition of 'drama' - there is no set definition of it in the sense of relationships.
I do agree that it's not wise to come charging out of the online bullpen and shout "NO DRAMA!!!" in the manner presented here but rather have conversations of what is and is not acceptable for each individual relationship-wise.
"NO DRAMA!!!" can be and usually is misinterpreted.
99% of the time, anyone who leads with this has multiple Oscars in drama. They attract it and cause it. Drama-free people don’t have to lead with that statement.
It's entirely possible to be a laid back, drama-free guy who has had the misfortune of being involved with drama-filled women in the past.
I'm a woman but I don't want drama either. To me, drama is usually unnecessary. It's often rooted in jealousy, some sort of desire to control the other person, or the desire for an up and down cycle where people break up and then make up - BLECH! I don't want to have to kiss and make up - I don't want to argue and rarely have a need to argue in fact.
I don't want someone else's grown kid trying to control their parent, or accusing me of that for that matter - let along "spending their money." Not that it's any of their business, but I have my own money, thanks everso, and I don't want your daddy spending it either. But if my adult kids tried to interject into it, I'd tell them to get out of my own personal business. (I would be shocked if they tried to interject themselves into my personal business.)
I don't want someone whose kids control their emotions and decisions.
I don't want anyone who wants to argue with me about petty stuff (and most stuff is petty). I will not tolerate someone trying to control me by being argumentative or pouty or pitching a fit or whatever. ****.
Maybe I'll have to be alone the rest of my life and if so, I'd rather be alone than in a relationship that's full of drama. I have good friends, plenty of money, I'm vibrant and attractive and healthy. I don't need anyone enough to put up with unnecessary drama.
That being said, emotions within reason are fine. I'm not a volatile type of person and I think a volatile person would wear me out. But say I'm with another person who is wired together more like me and they feel a bit weepy one day, or stressed, or whatever. It's fine to express that - in fact, I WANT them to express that. What I will not tolerate is accusatory behavior or poutiness. Shut up. I will not put up with that for an instant. Nor will I dish it out so there's that.
That being said, I admit to being totally irrational about spiders.
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