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I know it won't go away completely, just like any flawed mindset (racism comes to mind).
I do find it interesting to know how much hypocrisy will be revealed as a result of a discussion like this over time though. For example, will those who advocate entitlement on this topic feel the same on the employment boards when someone there feels entitled to a particular job or lifestyle? How about opponents of welfare? How many of them were on here advocating the entitlement dating preference?
I guess we'll see over time how that plays out.
That's why "they say" that it's a woman's world.
Games a man doesn't necessarily need to play if he doesn't want to.
That is a flawed mindset. I would not approve of that either.
Yeah, I'm just saying that even though I don't like that mindset, I can't change it. Yes, I've complained about it before and was told that I'm not going to change the minds of men. So that's that.
In kind and speaking solely on money issue(s) point(s): Before Most Women went out to work Men had always been the Sugar Daddy's and it was satisfactory, now when the tables are turned to an extent and the Man is working as well a good percentage (meaning not all) Women being a Sugar Mama being that she may earn more than him is looked upon as "YUCK" even hear of this happening in marriages these days.
Men I guess were financial suckers back in the day.
So the solution: Many (not all) Women seek Men who earn more than they do. I see through all of this garbage in kind.
I'm black....so yeah, basically all of the women in my family have worked and supported themselves for generations! My mom did have a stay at home period till I was about 12, and then she went back to work!
So sure there are some societal expectation that say ladies supposedly are supported, but it doesn't apply evenly to all groups. It is a privilege for black women to not work, to be honest. There are a lot of "feminists" that are up in arms about Michelle Obama, being super smart and accomplished and staying home to raise the daily, support her hubby. True feminism is about having choices.
So yes, I choose to make my own money, and also choose not to fully financially support a partner with it!
I don't have a problem with this except for the girl should not be turned off if you want to go dutch part. Some girls won't be turned off but you can't expect all women to be cool with that. If women are used to guys paying, they'll most likely want that to continue.
Personally, I find guys who pay generally hit my chivalry preference too. So I look for people who pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
So let's just call a spade a spade then. That's entitlement. At least be proud of the attribute if you're going to flaunt it.
Entitlement? No, but I find that the people who pay apparently think I am worth treating so I go with it! I am not going to turn down free stuff!
I feel like some of you guys haven't really found anyone you feel like is worth treating special!
Good grief. It seems anytime I direct a question, it ends up going off on several different tangents. Since this is clearly going no where productive, I'll end here.
I'll close with this so there is no misunderstanding of where I stand.
In summation, my views on what an ideal relationship is (my preferences):
First dates (particularly if you don't know them well; e.g. OLD) should be split 50/50. A girl should not expect or feel entitled to having the first date paid for in full. A girl should not be turned off by this idea either. There should be a vested interest from both parties. This falls outside the realm of general charitable contributions, because dating is not a charity.
Any relationship is give and take. In an average romantic relationship, a woman should expect to contribute to that relationship in different ways outside of her physical appearance. That includes, but is not limited to, paying for dates on occasion.
It is completely fine to take your SO or partner out on a date and pay for it in full. That is the romantic aspect of a relationship. This is what people do when they care about each other.
Still don't know what your problem is. You have told us that is how your dating life goes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
So let's just call a spade a spade then. That's entitlement. At least be proud of the attribute if you're going to flaunt it.
A woman who likes traditional or old school dating is no more feeling entitled that a man who expect a woman to take his name, bear his children having his name, take care of said children, play second fiddle to his career, goals, interests, needs, etc., do his laundry, cook or clean the house, do the shopping, grocery or otherwise, so on and so on.
At least from where I sit there are tons of men who still choose to play by those entitlements (and women too). Does that bother you in the least? of course not, why should it and neither should men paying for dates or women enjoying that men pay for dates.
I'm black....so yeah, basically all of the women in my family have worked and supported themselves for generations! My mom did have a stay at home period till I was about 12, and then she went back to work!
So sure there are some societal expectation that say ladies supposedly are supported, but it doesn't apply evenly to all groups. It is a privilege for black women to not work, to be honest. There are a lot of "feminists" that are up in arms about Michelle Obama, being super smart and accomplished and staying home to raise the daily, support her hubby. True feminism is about having choices.
So yes, I choose to make my own money, and also choose not to fully financially support a partner with it!
I hear ya! The women who I know who are financially supporting men are black though. lol One works a lot, but she only wants her husband to do chores around the house. I think she's afraid he'd cheat if he had a job. Another has a good job and her husband doesn't, so he stays home and takes care of their kid. Another is almost 60 and I think she's just afraid to be alone so she lets her boyfriend live with her although he has no job/income.
If as you say, the planner pays, I suggest you simply let the guy plan and be happy with wherever he decides to take you.
When you are ready to plan and pay, you take him where you'd like.
That's my MO, too.
I'm afraid to look at the other 15 pages in this thread
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