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I have enough female friends. I don't want anymore. I'm not trying to come off as an ass here, but I get mad when I'm shamed for my choices.
But it's OK to shame someone by refusing to talk to them after they exercised their choice?
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
It's a sure sign that the person that rejected the other dodged a bullet. If the person can't take the high road and be an adult in the face of a polite rejection, they're not a person of character.
Exactly. Guys like 49ersfan27 must not care about making things awkward for those around him. Suppose you asked a friend of a friend out and she rejected you. Chances are you're still going to run into her since you share a mutual friend. Are you going to give her the silent treatment? Everyone else around will pick up on it and that'll make them feel awkward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
I would rather have someone ignore me, than stalk me or not take no for an answer, and keep asking me over and over again until I changed my mind. If a person is turned down, and only wants a romantic relationship with that person, it would absolutely be in their best interest to totally ignore that person. Cause if they don't, then they will feel like they are in the dreaded friend zone, and that would just make things worse.
Really? So if I ask a coworker out and she rejects me, am I know in the friend zone? Here's a newsflash. Maybe she doesn't want to be my friend either. But since she works with me, she'd still like to be on good terms, not be stuck getting the silent treatment.
I have enough female friends. I don't want anymore. I'm not trying to come off as an ass here, but I get mad when I'm shamed for my choices.
Turning down a request for a phone number or date isn't "shaming". What if a woman you weren't interested in approached you, started a convo, then asked you to join her for coffee? Would you view your turning her down as "shaming" her?? Why the extreme views, and extreme reaction?
But it's OK to shame someone by refusing to talk to them after they exercised their choice?
Exactly. Guys like 49ersfan27 must not care about making things awkward for those around him. Suppose you asked a friend of a friend out and she rejected you. Chances are you're still going to run into her since you share a mutual friend. Are you going to give her the silent treatment? Everyone else around will pick up on it and that'll make them feel awkward.
Let's just agree to disagree on this. I do things my way and make my own choices. I have friends from my childhood and a few female friends. I'm not trying to be friends with everyone I see in public. If someone feels awkward around me, how is that my problem? They can stop being my friend, won't affect me any.
But it's OK to shame someone by refusing to talk to them after they exercised their choice?
Exactly. Guys like 49ersfan27 must not care about making things awkward for those around him. Suppose you asked a friend of a friend out and she rejected you. Chances are you're still going to run into her since you share a mutual friend. Are you going to give her the silent treatment? Everyone else around will pick up on it and that'll make them feel awkward.
Really? So if I ask a coworker out and she rejects me, am I know in the friend zone? Here's a newsflash. Maybe she doesn't want to be my friend either. But since she works with me, she'd still like to be on good terms, not be stuck getting the silent treatment.
I don't see the big deal with silent treatment, especially if that person can not separate their feelings of desire and just friendship. I thing they are doing everyone involved a favor by just doing their own thing. Some people just can't be cordial and professional with people that they have a serious attraction to, they just can't. And in those instances it is nothing wrong with just not ever talking to them again.
Let's just agree to disagree on this. I do things my way and make my own choices. I have friends from my childhood and a few female friends. If someone feels awkward around me, how is that my problem? They can stop being my friend, won't affect me any.
I imagine the tension in an office where you've worked a few years might be thick enough to slice with a knife. It could cause job problems for you. A good supervisor/boss would notice, and might not tolerate you for long.
Turning down a request for a phone number or date isn't "shaming". What if a woman you weren't interested in approached you, started a convo, then asked you to join her for coffee? Would you view your turning her down as "shaming" her?? Why the extreme views, and extreme reaction?
It seems here if a woman rejects you, then you're a bad person for not wanting to talk to her again. That's the vibe I'm getting.
I imagine the tension in an office where you've worked a few years might be thick enough to slice with a knife. It could cause job problems for you. A good supervisor/boss would notice, and might not tolerate you for long.
If it's in the workplace, I'll do it because it's required. However, outside of it is different.
If it's in the workplace, I'll do it because it's required. However, outside of it is different.
OK, now you're making a little more sense. But really, it's about not letting a simple "no, thank you" result in anger and bitterness towards someone. Life goes on. One is polite when circumstances require. It's the mature thing. It doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be friendly to her, it just means being polite.
Let's just agree to disagree on this. I do things my way and make my own choices. I have friends from my childhood and a few female friends. I'm not trying to be friends with everyone I see in public. If someone feels awkward around me, how is that my problem? They can stop being my friend, won't affect me any.
No one is telling you to be friends with these women you reject. As for people feeling awkward around you, it's your problem if you're the cause. Why should your friends or coworkers have to feel uncomfortable all because you couldn't be a grownup about being rejected?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
I don't see the big deal with silent treatment, especially if that person can not separate their feelings of desire and just friendship. I thing they are doing everyone involved a favor by just doing their own thing. Some people just can't be cordial and professional with people that they have a serious attraction to, they just can't. And in those instances it is nothing wrong with just not ever talking to them again.
Even if it affects the other people around you? If you can't be cordial or professional with someone who turned you down for a date, that speaks volumes about you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
It seems here if a woman rejects you, then you're a bad person for not wanting to talk to her again. That's the vibe I'm getting.
Oh please. Don't even try making this about gender. We could switch it around and have the man be the one who rejected the woman. If she refused to talk to him, then she'd be the one who's guilty of being childish and immature.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,120,090 times
Reputation: 40640
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
Some people just can't be cordial and professional with people that they have a serious attraction to, they just can't.
They can.
They choose not to.
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