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From what we could learn about open relationships. The rule is you have to have a number one. We are our number ones and we say we love each other. She doesn't love anyone else. She just started dating one dude and only a couple times. I frantically went on some dates too and not sure how I feel about that. I just hurt even though my gf and I are great together when we are together and text and talk all the time. We are 100 percent honest and tell each other everything. But she is meeting that dude again in a couple weeks and it is killing me. He lives in another state.
In kind: Your love for her is blinding you imo.
No offense intended: She belongs to available men. She's not a one man woman period no matter how you look at it.
From what we could learn about open relationships. The rule is you have to have a number one. We are our number ones and we say we love each other. She doesn't love anyone else. She just started dating one dude and only a couple times. I frantically went on some dates too and not sure how I feel about that. I just hurt even though my gf and I are great together when we are together and text and talk all the time. We are 100 percent honest and tell each other everything. But she is meeting that dude again in a couple weeks and it is killing me. He lives in another state.
Stop trying to label this. It's NOT an open relationship. You didn't come to this decision together and you don't really care for the situation. This is her, telling you, that she's done waiting around for you.
I suspect if you don't do something quickly about your separation, you aren't going to be her #1 for very long. Stop fooling yourself here. It might make you feel better to call this an open relationship, but that is not what you have.
Stop trying to label this. It's NOT an open relationship. You didn't come to this decision together and you don't really care for the situation. This is her, telling you, that she's done waiting around for you.
I suspect if you don't do something quickly about your separation, you aren't going to be her #1 for very long. Stop fooling yourself here. It might make you feel better to call this an open relationship, but that is not what you have.
He's not her #1, just her "go to" in between the men she's seeing imo.
I wouldn't stand for it and there's no way he'll ever be her #1 no matter how great the OP is to her.
My girlfriend of 3 years wants to have an open relationship. Well she already started to. She said she couldn't wait anymore for us to get married. The biggest issue I have of dating again is her past. When I met her she was a "sexual healer". Not sure what that means but she was paid to help men deal with sexual problems from a spiritual sense. That's what her Taoist teacher had taught her at least. To me it was just prostitution. I was able to get her away from that and she started a great career in beauty. Fast forward 3years and now she goes on a date with a guy to a romantic getaway. I am afraid she is going backwards.
She still wants to see me and says she hopes I will finish my divorce(I am separated for 6years)and we can get married but until then she is going to start dating as she says she doesn't want to waste her 20's away waiting for me. My problem is i am so hurting inside. I can't stand the thought if her with other guys. I am not the kind of guy who wants to have several partners. I am so hurting and just need some help to get rid of the pain. Please offer any advice.
Taoism isn't about sexually abusing your body.. Are you sure she's not pulling your leg?
My girlfriend of 3 years wants to have an open relationship. Well she already started to. She said she couldn't wait anymore for us to get married. The biggest issue I have of dating again is her past. When I met her she was a "sexual healer". Not sure what that means but she was paid to help men deal with sexual problems from a spiritual sense. That's what her Taoist teacher had taught her at least. To me it was just prostitution. I was able to get her away from that and she started a great career in beauty. Fast forward 3years and now she goes on a date with a guy to a romantic getaway. I am afraid she is going backwards.
She still wants to see me and says she hopes I will finish my divorce(I am separated for 6years)and we can get married but until then she is going to start dating as she says she doesn't want to waste her 20's away waiting for me. My problem is i am so hurting inside. I can't stand the thought if her with other guys. I am not the kind of guy who wants to have several partners. I am so hurting and just need some help to get rid of the pain. Please offer any advice.
Stop trying to label this. It's NOT an open relationship. You didn't come to this decision together and you don't really care for the situation. This is her, telling you, that she's done waiting around for you.
I suspect if you don't do something quickly about your separation, you aren't going to be her #1 for very long. Stop fooling yourself here. It might make you feel better to call this an open relationship, but that is not what you have.
This.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kat949
Taoism isn't about sexually abusing your body.. Are you sure she's not pulling your leg?
First off, Sixy is right: This is not an open relationship, this is her starting to move on because you have not stepped up.
You two need to have an honest talk. You need to ask her this question: If I finalise my divorce within 2 weeks and we get married the day after, are you willing to be monogamous with me forever?
And first, you should decide whether you can follow through if she says yes.
Anyway, it may already be too late. She may have decided that, because you have not married her by now, you don't love her the way she loves you.
6 years is a long time to be dithering over a divorce. Get it done and move on.
Your current GF was patient and waited 3 years. She is done waiting, and as her dissatisfaction with the situation grew, she reverted to her past comfort zone. Specifically, a non-monogamous lifestyle. Give it a bit more time and she will develop a new #1, you will be downgraded to #2, if not FWB, or maybe 'it's not you, it's me'.
Even if you reconcile, next time you have a rocky patch her solution will be to gain some space by sleeping with other men. It works for her, so she is going to do it again.
Can you live with that?
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