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Honestly I do rejecting someone who is much younger. I don't know how much younger you were but when I did online I got lots of responses from men in their early 20's. I was 39-41 when I did online and yes would reject a guy that young. Now if a guy was 35 or so I would have considered.
Actually Downs Syndrome is also dependent on the father's age and sperm that is old also has many risks. So yes I would definitely question an older man rejecting women his age for younger because of kids It also puts women in the broodmare category and men judging based on this is really delusional on many levels because never a guarantee plus he's judging based on superficial reason.
Feminism has many forms. I'm a feminist but my big issues are work ones.
I'm sorry, but it's not superficial IMO for a man to want children of his own and to want to date women with the best chances of being able to bear healthy and possibly even multiple children. What if he wants 2 or 3 kids? The odds of a woman conceiving naturally decline significantly after 35, and the odds of Downs go up significantly, these are easily researched facts. Too many women are under the misconception that as long as they are still menstruating, they have good chances to bear children, but it doesn't work like that. Menstruation is expelling an egg, it doesn't mean the egg was still fertile enough for conception.
How come it's not shallow for a woman who wants to be a mom to decline dates from men who don't want to have children, but it's shallow for a man who wants to be a dad to decline dates with women who have a good chance of not being able to have children?
Thank you for that statement. I am 40 and would like to have kids and want to be open to the possibility upto age 45. After that I probably will give up the idea as I don't want to be too old of a dad. But as long as I am under 45 I want to date someone younger than 35 so that the possibility of kids is more realistic since meeting someone, dating, marriage etc. takes it's own time.
So, that's just my preference just like some women filter out shorter men...
As for the bait and switch I just find it a very unattractive quality when a person cannot be comfortable with who they are in all respects... age included.
You do realize you explained why women lied in your post. You are judging women based on her age, not knowing whether she can have kids, or even if you can. What if you find out she is 30 but is infertile? What if you meet a fantastic 40 year old woman and she is willing to have kids and can? The age is why women lie. I should have found someone online, I am pretty and smart and thin but because of my age men bypassed me. I may have been open to have kids but the men never gave me a chance. My choices were the bottom feeders, like the divorced/never married dads, older men etc because men my age judged me. I NEVER once judged a man on his height.
How come it's not shallow for a woman who wants to be a mom to decline dates from men who don't want to have children, but it's shallow for a man who wants to be a dad to decline dates with women who have a good chance of not being able to have children?
I'm sorry, but it's not superficial IMO for a man to want children of his own and to want to date women with the best chances of being able to bear healthy and possibly even multiple children. What if he wants 2 or 3 kids? The odds of a woman conceiving naturally decline significantly after 35, and the odds of Downs go up significantly, these are easily researched facts. Too many women are under the misconception that as long as they are still menstruating, they have good chances to bear children, but it doesn't work like that. Menstruation is expelling an egg, it doesn't mean the egg was still fertile enough for conception.
How come it's not shallow for a woman who wants to be a mom to decline dates from men who don't want to have children, but it's shallow for a man who wants to be a dad to decline dates with women who have a good chance of not being able to have children?
It is shallow because if he wanted kids he had time in the past to seek women but chose not to. So yes it is selfish. Not to mention older men do have increased risk of sperm defects.
I'm talking mid 40s when I was 40. Generally I date older, but there were more than a few 44 / 45 yos that said (and this might just have been a polite let down) you seem great, but sorry, I can't see myself ever dating a younger man.
Now that is weird but probably goes back to the idea that the man should be older. My boyfriend is 9 years older but if something happens where I am single later I will date younger.
It is shallow because if he wanted kids he had time in the past to seek women but chose not to. So yes it is selfish. Not to mention older men do have increased risk of sperm defects.
So what? He is allowed to choose to live his life the way he wants. Maybe he wanted to get his career first, or maybe he was previously married to someone who didn't want kids, who are you or me to judge the choices people make in how they live their lives? He's selfish because he didn't have kids on the timetable you feel is appropriate?
It sounds like you're really upset with the unfairness that men have a longer lifespan for having children (and if older men really do have higher odds of conceiving a child with Downs, that's all the more reason for him to choose a mate with very low odds IMO) and that they have more choices of age than we do. There are other ways that women have advantages.
Btw, as a 52 year old on OLD, this affects me as well, but I have very few problems getting dates with good men my age, so I really don't care what the guys who aren't choosing me choose.
This thread is making me think about my own prejudices about age. I have assumed that I would not have much in common with someone much older, but worry that I could be missing a connection with a soul mate just because he didn't know who Macklemore is, or watch Orange is the New Black.
Sooooooooo tonight I'm going to do some research for y'all. I have a date tonight with a man I met while speed dating. He did not lie about his age...the range for the speed date group was 43-59. I am 46, he is, i think, 59. He is extremely handsome, fit, does NOT look a day over 55, owns his own landscape company. Recently foreclosed on his house. (which I would not mention to him in a million years that I know) All week long I've been thinking about how hot this guy is, and how old! So I will let you know if I'm able to overlook the age difference. I'm guessing I will not be interested in an LTR, but maybe some short term fun.
This thread is making me think about my own prejudices about age. I have assumed that I would not have much in common with someone much older, but worry that I could be missing a connection with a soul mate just because he didn't know who Macklemore is, or watch Orange is the New Black.
Sooooooooo tonight I'm going to do some research for y'all. I have a date tonight with a man I met while speed dating. He did not lie about his age...the range for the speed date group was 43-59. I am 46, he is, i think, 59. He is extremely handsome, fit, does NOT look a day over 55, owns his own landscape company. Recently foreclosed on his house. (which I would not mention to him in a million years that I know) All week long I've been thinking about how hot this guy is, and how old! So I will let you know if I'm able to overlook the age difference. I'm guessing I will not be interested in an LTR, but maybe some short term fun.
So what? He is allowed to choose to live his life the way he wants. Maybe he wanted to get his career first, or maybe he was previously married to someone who didn't want kids, who are you or me to judge the choices people make in how they live their lives? He's selfish because he didn't have kids on the timetable you feel is appropriate?
It sounds like you're really upset with the unfairness that men have a longer lifespan for having children (and if older men do have higher odds of conceiving a child with Downs, that's all the more reason for him to choose a mate with very low odds) and that they have more choices of age than we do. There are other ways that women have advantages.
Btw, as a 52 year old on OLD, this affects me as well, but I have very few problems getting dates with good men my age, so I really don't care what the guys who aren't choosing me choose.
Women should also have the life they want but guess what? doesn't happen that way. Older men do have a higher risk of defect. It is definitely selfish for a man to judge a woman based on her age and his perceived ability to have kids. What if she can't have kids?
Of course it bothered me, why should I, as a single never married childless woman have to have bottom feeder men because the quality of men at my level are going younger? I know I'll probably never have biological kids, a 40 year old man needs to be realistic about that as well. Most of them will fail as finding someone and that means both the older women they rejected and the older men will all be single.
This thread is making me think about my own prejudices about age. I have assumed that I would not have much in common with someone much older, but worry that I could be missing a connection with a soul mate just because he didn't know who Macklemore is, or watch Orange is the New Black.
Sooooooooo tonight I'm going to do some research for y'all. I have a date tonight with a man I met while speed dating. He did not lie about his age...the range for the speed date group was 43-59. I am 46, he is, i think, 59. He is extremely handsome, fit, does NOT look a day over 55, owns his own landscape company. Recently foreclosed on his house. (which I would not mention to him in a million years that I know) All week long I've been thinking about how hot this guy is, and how old! So I will let you know if I'm able to overlook the age difference. I'm guessing I will not be interested in an LTR, but maybe some short term fun.
I wouldn't go 13 years older but that's me. I had a 55 year old guy want to meet me when I was 40 and I was so repulsed by the idea I turned him down flat.
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thanks for that.
