CDR Women: Have you ever successfully coached a guy to a date or gf? (dating, girlfriend)
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seriously, i am genuinely curious if our unique insight has ever really benefited a man in their quest for love aside from that momentary time and attention your provide them, whether online or in person. and btw, this is not a catch-22 or trap-door type question, and i know some of that dynamic involves the listener actually taking and using the advice, which is a challenge no doubt.
you see i was just reading the angst of the woman who posted that "6-weeks online and it sucks" thread and i read all those supportive replies, but few guys provide feedback. and i am the type of person who believes in personal coaches, advisers, and I tend to "think" my advice could help others from time to time. but the teacher-student relationship has to be built on trust, in both directions. so, say for example, i bet i could provide SOME useful advice to a women looking to connect with an SO, even if it's just a different perspective, which i also appreciate but understand that it doesn't have to be accepted as fact, just my experience and thoughts. likewise, i think i could benefit from a woman's advice on various aspects of my dating life. but in either situation, there is a big element of confidence and trust that the coach/teacher/mentor is looking out for your well being and best interest, which includes listening and understanding the student's unique perspective and challenges.
so, share with us, have any of your ever really helped a man to his next date or gf? or are men very difficult students as a whole, a group? or were there other limitations, such as "you can only help so much online"?
Last edited by Dr. Clean; 08-24-2014 at 09:18 PM..
IRL, sure. On other relationship forums, sure. On CDR -- not likely.
This forum attracts the hardcore undateable guys, the ones who are so passionately devoted to the idea of themselves as martyrs, and to PUA full-frontal-whackadoodle that they will probably never get laid. They literally cannot hear advice that is actually useful.
But that doesn't matter. 90% of people on forums never post. They just lurk. And those people may be more open to success.
But, mainly, I save my real helpfulness for other forums and for folks here who pm me. The whackadoodle factor on threads is so high that it's rare to get a real discussion going.
IRL, sure. On other relationship forums, sure. On CDR -- not likely.
This forum attracts the hardcore undateable guys, the ones who are so passionately devoted to the idea of themselves as martyrs, and to PUA full-frontal-whackadoodle that they will probably never get laid. They literally cannot hear advice that is actually useful.
But that doesn't matter. 90% of people on forums never post. They just lurk. And those people may be more open to success.
But, mainly, I save my real helpfulness for other forums and for folks here who pm me. The whackadoodle factor on threads is so high that it's rare to get a real discussion going.
haha, that was funny, and apparently frank. thanks for being brave in replying. i went to an online forum called talkaboutmarriage when i was going through my divorce and it was so helpful. that level of analysis, people who develop expertise in certains areas, etc was impressive, genuine and understandable. here, there is none. it's all individual opinion.
and yeah, there is a lot of nuisance and "hardcore" types here to, but you have to admit we all came here looking for answers for relationshp problems, so we can't all be that hard to connect with. i still like it is rapport, trust and confidence, and you probably can't get that from here for some reason. maybe your other advice line is narrow and filters out noise.
My childhood best friend is a guy. He is a "nice guy" type - sensitive but angst-ridden over his lack of success with women. He comes off as needy sometimes and is not direct enough in pursuing women (always becoming "friends" first). He is tall, smart & witty and always has a decent job, but he is not good-looking and has grooming/hygiene issues. The latter is what I pointed out to him. I've also told him he needs to whine less and not make remarks about other attractive women when with a woman he is interested in (he really shoots himself in the foot there; he looks like both a jerk and insecure). He more or less worked on those things, but has since regressed a bit (and is single again).
Anyhow, he agreed to setting aside some money & letting another female friend take him shopping to get him a new wardrobe. He also got a new haircut. Within 6 months he had a girlfriend. Previously he was getting stopped in airports because he looked like the unibomber or something; that stopped too . It didn't last, but it goes to show what a few simple changes can accomplish in terms of attracting someone.
He also was open to someone more realistically on his level of attractiveness, when previously he went for women out of his league.
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. It didn't last, but it goes to show what a few simple changes can accomplish in terms of attracting someone.
