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Well, anyone you meet is an unopened book to you, they may have worse problems than your ex. If you are frustrated with this process, why not just give up for a while. Why not try to meet someone the way that we used to in the old days, you know, friends of friends, or someone you meet in a certifiably safe place, like a church group.
It seems like maybe, and I'm reading between the lines here, it seems like you have something to prove, and these 'guys' you meet are just some kind of step to proving it...not being good enough...as it were.
Well....in that case...the question for you at this point in your life, at 35 years of age is...
What are you willing to compromise on?
This is not the same as settling, but rather a decision to make those things you value the very most in a mate a priority. And choosing to embrace those things that may not be all that ideal because they really don't matter 'as much' as everything else. If you really want to have a long term, healthy, lasting monogamous relationship with someone you may have to really think about this.
Or, alternatively, keep doing what you're doing and forget about the thought of 'giving up', as it would be your choice, after all, to keep looking until you find someone that meets every single criteria you desire.
The kid thing is a big deal. The dating within my race is a big thing.
I was almost going to let the daily pot smoker slide until he argued with me that he should never have to pay child support and he got mad when I would not pay for him to go to the beach. Nope... I have never even tried drugs.
I guess I could get a heavier guy to be thin. I am a lousy cook.
The finances and job are a big deal. I am good financially to support myself and my kids. I can't take on other dependents.
No ex-wives, no alimony, no double car/house payments. No worries.......
You need to look harder, try men your friends ignore.
My friends are all married and have been for years. well except one and she is in a similar boat, except she is a financial wreck, not thin and not attractive.
Well, anyone you meet is an unopened book to you, they may have worse problems than your ex. If you are frustrated with this process, why not just give up for a while. Why not try to meet someone the way that we used to in the old days, you know, friends of friends, or someone you meet in a certifiably safe place, like a church group.
It seems like maybe, and I'm reading between the lines here, it seems like you have something to prove, and these 'guys' you meet are just some kind of step to proving it...not being good enough...as it were.
Nothing to prove. Just I have dated all the guys that are wrong for me and it did not work out. I want the relationship that will work out.
I have previously lived with a single dad. I was having anxiety attacks for months before I finally put him out.
Find other ways to meet people and not use online dating. Hobbies, church, something else but online dating as a sole way to get dates can be a real downer. And 35 yr old female will be wanted by someone in their 40's and 50's. A lot of guys want to date younger women. You have to disclose your age on your profile which means you're getting weeded out by men you might otherwise hit it off with who would be close to your age or even maybe younger. Not all of course, but if you are not meeting quality men then change where you are hunting.
Nothing to prove. Just I have dated all the guys that are wrong for me and it did not work out. I want the relationship that will work out.
I have previously lived with a single dad. I was having anxiety attacks for months before I finally put him out.
I understand as well as anyone how the end of a relationship can be, someone you let close to you, in your home, and part of your family.
It took a few years before I wasn't either angry, or disapointed, or depressed, or anxious, or all of it at once.
I'm sure I don't know you, but in the posts I've read of yours, it seems like you have never even looked at those feelings, and you are just SURE you are ready to 'get' another relationship.
Maybe you don't have the same feelings I did, that wouldn't be a shock, but the point I was making was, the way I felt in the first year was that I wanted to prove that I was still - something that was completely irrelevant to the problem.
The problem was that I had a ton of issues that I needed to deal with before I was REALLY ready for a healthy and lasting relationship.
Since I don't know you, and all I know is what you post here, thats my two cents. Where you are coming from in your search and in the core of yourself and whats motivating you has a lot to do with what kind of outcome you get from the process.
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well except one and she is in a similar boat, except she is a financial wreck, not thin and not attractive.