Ready to give up (advice, percentage, average, problems)
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I didn't realize what a catch the OP is. Claims to be "self sufficient", yet less than 6 months ago posted that she is on WELFARE. When did being on welfare, and probably food stamps also, become defined as "self sufficient".
You guys are being a little mean and judgmental. I don't agree with the OPs POV and we've hashed it out a few times. She has some strong delusions that aren't budging, but that is okay. Ultimately, it's her life, not mine.
Still, unearthing her dependence on welfare seems a little ... below the belt. I recall that she said in a previous post that she doesn't make a lot of money but she has figured out how to effectively appropriate her funds.
LOL, I'm 33 and recently went out with a 43 year old (oldest guy I've ever gone out with), but never would have been interested in him in my 20s or even earlier 30s. If he can get someone in her 20s, good for him. He was decent looking, but not nearly as attractive as comparable men in their 20s and 30s. He did, however, have a somewhat impressive career which is why I considered him, but I still doubt women in their 20s are lining up to date him.
My point is that I think both men and women overestimate their "market value", but I have no problem with men wanting and dating younger women if they can actually attract those women.
I don't have a problem with it either but these men seem to think that having a somewhat decent job and being in their 40s is enough to make younger woman drop their panties. Takes a lot more than that.
You guys are being a little mean and judgmental. I don't agree with the OPs POV and we've hashed it out a few times. She has some strong delusions that aren't budging, but that is okay. Ultimately, it's her life, not mine.
Still, unearthing her dependence on welfare seems a little ... below the belt. I recall that she said in a previous post that she doesn't make a lot of money but she has figured out how to effectively appropriate her funds.
I think that the OP's reliance on public assistance is relevant.
Also explains how she's attracting drug users and the like.
I'm not against people getting assistance if they need it, but being on welfare, working 40-50 hours a week, trying to raise 2 kids, and letting men that aren't committed to marrying you live with you and your small children is a recipe for NOT finding the types of men the OP is hoping to find.
I appreciate that she's a hard worker and doing her best for her kids in a financial sense, but most men want a woman who has a little more free time, enough money to afford a babysitter, and they don't want to instantly get involved with her children.
So, if she met a guy who was making a very good living, what are the odds he'd be eager to get involved with her when she's not at a similar place career-wise? Especially with 2 kids?
Not very likely.
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When I was 20, most women my age were with guys who were a few years older, because they had better jobs, they had nice cars and they were more experienced. Many women, especially younger women, go for guys who are a few years older.
4 years ago, when I was 43, I had a short affair with a 27 year old woman. I am sure, this woman would not have even looked at me, if I was her age.
Yes, I believe that.
I repeat...most women want someone around their age. But I will add/admit that they will also tend towards men a little older.
My main point is that its the men that want mates younger than them; that's been my main point throughout this thread.
I repeat...most women want someone around their age. But I will add/admit that they will also tend towards men a little older.
My main point is that its the men that want mates younger than them; that's been my main point throughout this thread.
I don't think that's universally true at all. I think men prefer people closer to their age when they're younger, and younger than them when they're older.
I think women prefer men who are a little older when they are younger, and closer to their age when they are older.
This is a GENERALIZATION. I know women who prefer younger men and women who prefer older men. I know men who prefer younger women and men who prefer older women.
People like what they like.
This is about the OP, though. She has a laundry list of "likes" and she cannot have it all, so where does she make allowances?
Is it race? Is it fitness level? Is it income? Is it acceptance of single dads? Is it AGE?
She's the only one that knows what allowances she COULD make, so perhaps she should figure that out.
If she's will not make any allowances, she needs to up her game. It's good that she is fit and trim. But, it's not enough at 35 with 2 kids, on welfare, with a (presumably, for she is on welfare) blue collar job of some sort.
She needs to get a better education, a higher-paying job, a job in another field, something...
She may need to move into an area that is upscale. She may need to work on her wardrobe and the way she presents to potential dates.
She needs to stop letting guys crash at her house like it's a youth hostel.
You see what I'm getting at?
p.s. Somewhat an aside, but why does a single woman with little kids have 2 cars? Could she not sell one of those? Is it for her boyfriends who move in to drive because she usually attracts men who have no car? What is the point of it? I never owned 2 cars at once as a single woman when I was working toward bettering myself (I was in grad school). It's illogical. I'm also not sure how one person qualifies for welfare with 2 cars. Would that not be 1 too many for a single person?
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Many women think that the party never stops and that they will always find a guy, just like when they were 20 or 25. (And some of them can!)
And society and the media (Hello Cosmopolitan and "Sex And The City") told them that they are princesses and that they can have it all.
But for the majority it is exactly what the OP is experiencing now: The window has closed and they wasted the time in their life when their sexual marketvalue was the highest. Bad luck!
lol! This is so full of cliches! Who watched "Sex & The City"? Who reads Cosmopolitan? Do you guys actually know real live women who did this? I don't know any. I think a lot of the problem on this forum is that men spend years barking up the wrong trees, then they blame the trees.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she would have significantly more success if she was childless. It goes 2 ways... I wouldn't want to date someone with children either especially one that is financially unstable, I don't care how amazingly hot you are. Situations like that scream HELP ME SUPPORT MY CHILDREN! Guys won't find that attractive, not ones that I know of at least.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she would have significantly more success if she was childless. It goes 2 ways... I wouldn't want to date someone with children either especially one that is financially unstable, I don't care how amazingly hot you are. Situations like that scream HELP ME SUPPORT MY CHILDREN! Guys won't find that attractive, not ones that I know of at least.
Thank you. That was pretty much exactly my point.
35 and no kids, even if you are financially unstable? If you're hot? Yeah... it wouldn't be too tough.
35 with 2 kids, financially unstable? Tough sell. If you're hot? Slightly less of a tough sell, but still a tough sell.
35 with 2 kids, financially stable, nice home, good career and hot? Yeah. That's what she needs to be to attract men similar to the ones she's looking for. Even then, refusing single dads will hurt.
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