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Hi every one! Need some of your thoughts but this is not for me for a good friend of mine! She cried loud out about a situation she is going through " love situation"
Let me name her as Leena. She is 38 years old divorced with two kids. And live alone since 4 years. She was on dates but nothing went well in this EU but all the sudden in a way of unexpected she met a guy from online dating. He lives in Florida USA. Almost 17 months they know each other from two meetings person to person and from Skype and phone calls what ever the communication methods we can think of. She likes him also he likes her too. That is not the case.
*He was being straight forward told her that he is not willing to move here, due to the language and too many issues combined with PR, but if she move with her two kids, he is willing provide all the comfort and he already given the folders of schools in his area for her kids. Lena has two daughters from age 10 and 5.
*He has one daughter but already grown up age of 21 she is in the college has a boy friend too. She is not an issue.
*My friend is way too nervous about moving to Florida USA- She says what she should do if relationship fails. Then what? move back to NL with kids? Then kids mess up with studies too and it stress them too. And she asks me what I will do if I am in her situation?
* She asked me if it is a good idea to leave her kids with her ex husband and move there for some time see how everything goes.If something go wrong then she loose only the job as she says. And she asks me if I think that is good?
* In the same time she is afraid of her ex husband taking this against her to sue her and get the soul custody of her kids.
*She already talked to MR Florida about this feelings. His answer was " Then you have to let me go I am afraid- But please don't let that happen- I am sure nothing will go wrong you just need to move with out thinking two much"
* This completely new to me. Her nervous feelings I can understand. But I am nervous to give her an opinion about this. If I say yes go ahead then if something go wrong I will regret encouraging her to do that. If I say NO don't do it then also I will regret that I did not encourage her to go for it.
Any one can support me with this? I truly want to help her give my opinion but not to hurt her. But I am bit lost too with this.
Hi every one! Need some of your thoughts but this is not for me for a good friend of mine! She cried loud out about a situation she is going through " love situation"
Let me name her as Leena. She is 38 years old divorced with two kids. And live alone since 4 years. She was on dates but nothing went well in this EU but all the sudden in a way of unexpected she met a guy from online dating. He lives in Florida USA. Almost 17 months they know each other from two meetings person to person and from Skype and phone calls what ever the communication methods we can think of. She likes him also he likes her too. That is not the case.
*He was being straight forward told her that he is not willing to move here, due to the language and too many issues combined with PR, but if she move with her two kids, he is willing provide all the comfort and he already given the folders of schools in his area for her kids. Lena has two daughters from age 10 and 5.
*He has one daughter but already grown up age of 21 she is in the college has a boy friend too. She is not an issue.
*My friend is way too nervous about moving to Florida USA- She says what she should do if relationship fails. Then what? move back to NL with kids? Then kids mess up with studies too and it stress them too. And she asks me what I will do if I am in her situation?
* She asked me if it is a good idea to leave her kids with her ex husband and move there for some time see how everything goes.If something go wrong then she loose only the job as she says. And she asks me if I think that is good?
* In the same time she is afraid of her ex husband taking this against her to sue her and get the soul custody of her kids.
*She already talked to MR Florida about this feelings. His answer was " Then you have to let me go I am afraid- But please don't let that happen- I am sure nothing will go wrong you just need to move with out thinking two much"
* This completely new to me. Her nervous feelings I can understand. But I am nervous to give her an opinion about this. If I say yes go ahead then if something go wrong I will regret encouraging her to do that. If I say NO don't do it then also I will regret that I did not encourage her to go for it.
Any one can support me with this? I truly want to help her give my opinion but not to hurt her. But I am bit lost too with this.
Tell "Leena" to stop thinking about herself for 8 seconds.
She has kids for crying out loud, she SHOULD do what's best for THEM. Especially that 10 year old, that's near the start of adolescents. All that change, especially a divorce, can really mess up a kid! And not to mention all that pressure on her 5 year old...
Tell her to have a read of this horrible story and think carefully whether she wants to move her 2 young, vulnerable daughters to the home of a virtual stranger.
Is there an opportunity for him to travel to the EU for a month and her and the kids to travel to Florida for a month or something prior to making plans to move? Seems like there ought to at least a little in-person time prior to any plans to move to a new country. Just my two bits.
As a mom, I can't believe she would just consider dumping her daughters with her ex so she can go chase this guy. I mean, there are NO men in her own country or on the continent of Europe she could meet??? She doesn't really know this guy. She has never been around him for any length of time.
Has he offered to travel there? Does she know if he has an arrest record?
If it were just her, I might say at least visit him for 2 weeks. But since she is a parent, she needs to be EXTRA cautious.
The worst-case scenario? He could be grooming her to get close to her daughters. Internet predators can target single moms.
Tell "Leena" to stop thinking about herself for 8 seconds.
She has kids for crying out loud, she SHOULD do what's best for THEM. Especially that 10 year old, that's near the start of adolescents. All that change, especially a divorce, can really mess up a kid! And not to mention all that pressure on her 5 year old...
Honestly I am afraid of saying anything. Because she know that I did move all the way from USA.But then I was way young and not a mother. Based on that I cannot say anything. For some it work for some not. And I am always put my child first. And she does that too. But love is blind to say. Thank you for your comment.
Hi every one! Need some of your thoughts but this is not for me for a good friend of mine! She cried loud out about a situation she is going through " love situation"
Let me name her as Leena. She is 38 years old divorced with two kids. And live alone since 4 years. She was on dates but nothing went well in this EU but all the sudden in a way of unexpected she met a guy from online dating. He lives in Florida USA. Almost 17 months they know each other from two meetings person to person and from Skype and phone calls what ever the communication methods we can think of. She likes him also he likes her too. That is not the case.
*He was being straight forward told her that he is not willing to move here, due to the language and too many issues combined with PR, but if she move with her two kids, he is willing provide all the comfort and he already given the folders of schools in his area for her kids. Lena has two daughters from age 10 and 5.
*He has one daughter but already grown up age of 21 she is in the college has a boy friend too. She is not an issue.
*My friend is way too nervous about moving to Florida USA- She says what she should do if relationship fails. Then what? move back to NL with kids? Then kids mess up with studies too and it stress them too. And she asks me what I will do if I am in her situation?
* She asked me if it is a good idea to leave her kids with her ex husband and move there for some time see how everything goes.If something go wrong then she loose only the job as she says. And she asks me if I think that is good?
* In the same time she is afraid of her ex husband taking this against her to sue her and get the soul custody of her kids.
*She already talked to MR Florida about this feelings. His answer was " Then you have to let me go I am afraid- But please don't let that happen- I am sure nothing will go wrong you just need to move with out thinking two much"
* This completely new to me. Her nervous feelings I can understand. But I am nervous to give her an opinion about this. If I say yes go ahead then if something go wrong I will regret encouraging her to do that. If I say NO don't do it then also I will regret that I did not encourage her to go for it.
Any one can support me with this? I truly want to help her give my opinion but not to hurt her. But I am bit lost too with this.
She needs to do what is best for her children first then think about her own romantic life.
There is no way I would take my children out of their home and country to be with someone I've met 2 times in person.
She is risking losing her children and I am going to guess he would have to have approval from someone in the Netherlands anyway because of custody and visitation rights of the children's father.
He is not willing to move because he does not want to lose what he has but he has no consideration for what she will be losing if she does move with her children.
Well, she can't just simply move to the US and stay here w/o a permanent visa ... are they planning to get married?
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