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Honestly I am afraid of saying anything. Because she know that I did move all the way from USA.But then I was way young and not a mother. Based on that I cannot say anything. For some it work for some not. And I am always put my child first. And she does that too. But love is blind to say. Thank you for your comment.
Why would you be afraid to say something, she has asked for your opinion according to your first post.
Tell her to have a read of this horrible story and think carefully whether she wants to move her 2 young, vulnerable daughters to the home of a virtual stranger.
Actually he not a stranger now she already know him. He visited her last summer too for a week. And before that for week end during last December, this summer he said that he prefer that she move. yes as you say I think that is a good thing to say.
Actually he not a stranger now she already know him. He visited her last summer too for a week. And before that for week end during last December, this summer he said that he prefer that she move. yes as you say I think that is a good thing to say.
He is being very self centred then. You don't just move your kids to a new country away from their extended family as well as their Father simply because some guy you met online wants you to. That's just stupid and incredibly selfish.
Is there an opportunity for him to travel to the EU for a month and her and the kids to travel to Florida for a month or something prior to making plans to move? Seems like there ought to at least a little in-person time prior to any plans to move to a new country. Just my two bits.
She coming by me to spend the week end with us. My daughter and her daughter kind of good friends. I am going to listen to her more this week end. And may be I can open a conversation about everything. what you said is a good idea if that will work. He was here last summer for a week and last December he came for a week end for the first time with after they met through online. I don't want her to be scared either. But I don't want her to get in to a trouble either.
As a mom, I can't believe she would just consider dumping her daughters with her ex so she can go chase this guy. I mean, there are NO men in her own country or on the continent of Europe she could meet??? She doesn't really know this guy. She has never been around him for any length of time.
Has he offered to travel there? Does she know if he has an arrest record?
If it were just her, I might say at least visit him for 2 weeks. But since she is a parent, she needs to be EXTRA cautious.
The worst-case scenario? He could be grooming her to get close to her daughters. Internet predators can target single moms.
He was been in EU. That is already done he is clean. I helped her with that. He has no even a high speed record. I moved with a guy that is long ago with my ex husband but then I was not a mother. And I was young too. As a mom my self today I am afraid to say anything regarding this. But the father of kids are wonderful. He is much active with kids talking them on holidays. Keep in touch with school. Every other week kids spend week end with their dad. I was thinking to say may be it is better to let her ex know about this but I don't know how intelligent that is.
Anyone can be on their best behaviour for a week. I met my husband online and we were in different countries so I have nothing against this at all. But my kids were grown ups who had left home. If they had of been little there would be no way in hell I would take them to another country. I would expect the guy to come to my country with the understanding my children needed continuity of family and routines.
Hi every one! Need some of your thoughts but this is not for me for a good friend of mine! She cried loud out about a situation she is going through " love situation"
Let me name her as Leena. She is 38 years old divorced with two kids. And live alone since 4 years. She was on dates but nothing went well in this EU but all the sudden in a way of unexpected she met a guy from online dating. He lives in Florida USA. Almost 17 months they know each other from two meetings person to person and from Skype and phone calls what ever the communication methods we can think of. She likes him also he likes her too. That is not the case.
*He was being straight forward told her that he is not willing to move here, due to the language and too many issues combined with PR, but if she move with her two kids, he is willing provide all the comfort and he already given the folders of schools in his area for her kids. Lena has two daughters from age 10 and 5.
*He has one daughter but already grown up age of 21 she is in the college has a boy friend too. She is not an issue.
*My friend is way too nervous about moving to Florida USA- She says what she should do if relationship fails. Then what? move back to NL with kids? Then kids mess up with studies too and it stress them too. And she asks me what I will do if I am in her situation?
* She asked me if it is a good idea to leave her kids with her ex husband and move there for some time see how everything goes.If something go wrong then she loose only the job as she says. And she asks me if I think that is good?
* In the same time she is afraid of her ex husband taking this against her to sue her and get the soul custody of her kids.
*She already talked to MR Florida about this feelings. His answer was " Then you have to let me go I am afraid- But please don't let that happen- I am sure nothing will go wrong you just need to move with out thinking two much"
* This completely new to me. Her nervous feelings I can understand. But I am nervous to give her an opinion about this. If I say yes go ahead then if something go wrong I will regret encouraging her to do that. If I say NO don't do it then also I will regret that I did not encourage her to go for it.
Any one can support me with this? I truly want to help her give my opinion but not to hurt her. But I am bit lost too with this.
Your friend should be putting her children first, period. She should stay put until her kids are grown and out of the house taking care of themselves before she should go gallivanting all over the world looking for "love".
First off, she can not move to the USA without the proper visa and there is no permanent visa for shack-up girlfriends.
Second thing is that she will not be able to move the children out of Europe without the written permission of the children's father.
If Mr Boyfriend is eager to have her move without the children, that is one thing, but if he doesn't want her to come without the little girls, the he is more interested in the young girls and not so interested in their mother. That is a huge red flag. It sounds a bit like he doesn't want her to move without the children. Caution is advised.
There should not be any issues with the father taking the kids while the mother takes a 30 day vacation to the States. That would not be grounds for a custody battle. But if she decides to move, there will indeed be a custody battle as the father does not have to give permission for the kids to be moved to a foreign country. If she decides to move without them, why would she care if they go to live with their father?
Anyone can be on their best behaviour for a week. I met my husband online and we were in different countries so I have nothing against this at all. But my kids were grown ups who had left home. If they had of been little there would be no way in hell I would take them to another country. I would expect the guy to come to my country with the understanding my children needed continuity of family and routines.
Agree with you. no one can say about any one with few days. I think I would do the same but for me to move to USA is not a problem my family is there already my parents. If that is me out of talk I would hand over everything gotta my bag and kid gone there and my kid will be happy to be with her grand parents. But in her case it is totally different.
She needs to do what is best for her children first then think about her own romantic life.
There is no way I would take my children out of their home and country to be with someone I've met 2 times in person.
She is risking losing her children and I am going to guess he would have to have approval from someone in the Netherlands anyway because of custody and visitation rights of the children's father.
He is not willing to move because he does not want to lose what he has but he has no consideration for what she will be losing if she does move with her children.
yes that issue is there I know that for sure. I wish that she did not ask me my opinion. Sake of friendship I don't want to lie.
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