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Lol, no. I am straight and always have been. I was a face model at age 7 because I have a feminine face. Still do.
But, I am also depressive, bipolar, anxiety ridden, lazy and socially inept. I was sexually abused by my uncle when I was 7. Very badly. Had to forcibly give him blowjobs for 4 consecutive days. I remember being in a revere...a trance like state for many days after that. Innocence died and so did me I guess. The one time I did have sex with a prostitute(in 2005 as a 20 year old deeply frustrated man) I remember getting flashes of that man while in the act. It was terrifying. All these years I made myself believe that I'll come back stronger. Get over my inner aura of fear, disdain and anomie. Never happened.
Women are drawn to me like flies(because of my face and eyes;they've said) and then repelled even sooner. To women, atleast for relationship a personality matters more than looks. What good are looks when your heart rate increases as soon as you go in public? I've accepted this fate but not my parents. Hence I thought of responding here.
I'll gladly trade you places. Sorry about everything.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonCountyLiving
Yeah, those were the only people in my life who ever really asked me about that sort of thing, with the exception of a Chinese woman who once told my friend and me to "not get too educated" or we would never find husbands. Lol.
Lol. Good heavens. There are some odd types / values out there. I dated for awhile a MIT doctoral student in physics from Hong Kong. Obviously brilliant, right? I mean, people don't stumble into that position. She often told me about her conversations with her grandmother that were all about her finding a husbands and not eating too much as she'll get fat an no man will want her. Totally f'd up. This women was borderline brilliant in her field (and now works at a one of the National Laboratories), it made me bummed for her.
I've gotten it about an infinite amount of times in my lifetime...like I couldn't even count it at this point. I'm talking about people constantly wondering why I've never had a girlfriend
People meet me, they consider me to be handsome, nice, caring, masculine and can clearly see that I'm very successful and ambitious in my work so they're just astonished that I cannot find a woman. This lady who approached me on Saturday was the same way - she was all over me and she goes "I just don't get it, are girls your age not forward at all? You're just perfect".
I don't know what to say at this point. Biggest thing at this point for me is my shyness and my defeatist attitude towards dating. No amount of positive encouragement from outside sources can seemingly change my incredibly negative view towards dating. I don't know how to convey this to people so I just try to make up silly excuses for when they ask me why I'm single
Just tell them that you prefer to use prostitutes instead. Laugh at your own joke but only a little and say it sort of seriously but not. Then they'll think you're absolutely crazy. It'll be awesome.
My brother came out in 2009 as a transgender.
He wants to be a woman and is already started his hormones.
I was considered a gorgeous boy(I was even a child model). Till date I have asked 3 women out(I am 28). 2 agreed and one said no(in the year 1999). I have been asked out a total of 15 times. Usually when I step out if the house I get asked out(no lies and I am a guy). On bet I have asked random girls in subways and buses for their number....a total of around 30 times and have only been turned down 6 times(these are random strangers).
I have never kissed. I have had sex 2 times- both paid.
Yes, I get asked a lot of times if I am gay. My father cried his eyes out last year asking me why I have never had a girl. He was crying his eyes out after a terrible fight with mother. He knows that one son is a hopeless case(He is anti gay/trans and cannot stand my brother) and I am the only hope.
So, if some person asks me if I am seeing anyone and when I say I am a 28 year old man with zero experiences in love and sex and romance they are shocked. A few give me a certain look as if deciding I am gay. Others ask why. I say depression is a terrible thing.
Did you tell your dad about your uncle, when he asked why you don't have a girl?
I can remember being asked this often when I was about 20-28. It was always by much older women. In retrospect it was probably their way of making conversation, and they could not think of any other topic to talk about, maybe a couple were Cougars, maybe a couple were looking to play matchmaker, maybe a couple knew it was an embarassing topic for me and that was their goal. In any event it stopped being a topic of conversation around the age of about 30. The question always made me uncomfortable because I didn't know how to answer it, at least not in an honest way that didn't make me look pathetic, it really is a lame question. And FYI, every woman over the age of 40 thinks every guy under the age of 25 is cute or handsome, all they notice is the young skin and hair.
I think it's a cultural/class thing. My stepmother is a piece of trash who could never get by without a man. She actually said once about a former classmate of mine "she never got a man either." The girl to whom she was referring is drop-dead gorgeous and has a great job and plenty of friends, but god forbid she never "got" a man. :eyeroll:
I agree with this. I don't recall ever being asked. I was raised in an environment where early marriage was seen as less than ideal. It was about college, career, and financial independence. For women and men. I was the youngest of my set to marry, at 25. Now I have been single for oh... 9 years and I get no flak at all. I think my married friends secretly envy me actually (even my mom!).
Did you tell your dad about your uncle, when he asked why you don't have a girl?
Oh hell no. My father is a great man. He is a conservative and a very hard working man who gave us everything we wanted all our lives. My brothers situation is hurting him a lot. I don't want to worsen the grief.
I didn't tell my parents back then and never thought of confiding ever again. It will hurt them a lot. I haven't forgiven my uncle and someday I plan to take my revenge. As corny as it sounds, I want to do this...hurt him.
But to my father- no. I mean I did say the obvious thing which is I haven't met anyone yet. Which is true.
I am seeing a therapist and I hope it gets better. I want to be loved. There's nothing better than surrounded by dear ones.
Oh hell no. My father is a great man. He is a conservative and a very hard working man who gave us everything we wanted all our lives. My brothers situation is hurting him a lot. I don't want to worsen the grief.
I didn't tell my parents back then and never thought of confiding ever again. It will hurt them a lot. I haven't forgiven my uncle and someday I plan to take my revenge. As corny as it sounds, I want to do this...hurt him.
But to my father- no. I mean I did say the obvious thing which is I haven't met anyone yet. Which is true.
I am seeing a therapist and I hope it gets better. I want to be loved. There's nothing better than surrounded by dear ones.
Did you tell anyone about your abuse? You probably aren't the only child your uncle took advantage of, and if no one speaks up he'll continue to hurt people.
Did you tell anyone about your abuse? You probably aren't the only child your uncle took advantage of, and if no one speaks up he'll continue to hurt people.
True, that. He can go after the next generation in the extended family, offering to baby-sit. It happens. One generation grows up, they go after the next one.
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